Let That Be Enough
by BlackRoseOnFire
Summary: Sequel to Take Me As I Am. Slash. Graduation is approaching, and Marco and his friends are spending the summer in L.A. COMPLETE
1. It's Hard To Say Goodbye

**Chapter One: It's Hard To Say Goodbye**

_Let me know that you hear me  
Let me know your touch  
Let me know that you love me  
Let that be enough_

**Jesse**

Alyssa's funeral was starting soon. I held her letter in my hands; I'd read it at least ten times already. I just couldn't get over it. Every time I looked at it, it reminded me of Rex. And every time I thought of Rex, I got a horrible feeling in my stomach, like I was going to be sick all over myself. Whenever I felt that feeling, I started to cry. My tears fell, conveniently missing the paper so they wouldn't damage it.

_Dear Jesse,_

_I hope you're not the one to find me because I don't want you to see me once I've ended my life. I just want you to get this letter. It is to be used as my will. And I know that if you have it, then it's in good hands. _

_I don't want you to hate me because of what I've done. I just know that Rex was the last good thing in my life, and he was taken from me. So by doing this, I'll finally get to be with him forever. _

_I want half of my money and all of my possessions to go to Jeff. He deserves everything that I can give him. I've written a separate letter to him, so please make sure that he gets it. And tell him that I'm sorry for wasting so many years of his life. He deserves to be happy and have someone who can love him as much as he loved me._

_The other half of my money has been put into a special account for my dear, sweet Isabella. Use the money to take care of her because I want you to have her. I heard you promise Rex on his deathbed that you and Marco would take care of her. She needs you. You're the closest thing to a real family she could ever have now._

_I'm begging you to never tell her the truth about me. That I fell in love with someone that I shouldn't have, and that I took my life to be with him. If you have to make up a story about me, please do. I just want her to know that I love her very much, and everything I did, I did for her._

_I have a son too. I don't know where he is or if you'll ever meet him, but if you do, please let him know that I loved him with all of my heart, and that if I could have, I would have raised him. _

_Jesse, I want to thank you for everything you've ever done for me. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had some of the best times of my life with Rex. It was unfair to make you share your love for him, and for that I am sorry. Please forgive me and take care of my little girl._

_Alyssa Skye _

**Marco**

The funeral was long and painful. There were so many people there. All of Alyssa's students, as well as many more kids that just knew who she was attended. The headmaster was there, and all of the other teachers in the school. Her family and Jeff's family were there as well. Jesse and I were in the front, and Jesse was holding Gracie, who was wearing a brand new black dress.

She was buried next to Rex.

After the whole ceremony was over, almost everyone was gone as quickly as they had come. Soon Jesse and I were the only ones left, lingering at the fresh grave much longer than anyone else. Gracie cried for hours while we just stood, hands clasped together between us. I suddenly felt like I was standing there with my father.

"_**Papa why did this have to happen?" I cried, trying not to be sick. My mother was not supposed to die when I was only seventeen. She just wasn't. She was supposed to be old, not this young.**_

"_**Shh Marco, it's going to be okay," my father assured me, holding onto my hand like I was a child again.**_

"**_How can it be okay? SHE'S GONE!" I screamed up at the sky. "And she's never coming back!" My tears kept flowing and wouldn't stop. I hugged my dad. It was the only thing we could do. It was the beginning of the end._**

And nothing was okay.

I collapsed to the ground, overwhelmed by my emotions.

**Nate**

Thomas and I left the funeral quickly, returning to school, to my room.

"I know that this isn't a good day to bring this up, but we gotta talk about Craig," Thomas said.

"I don't want to talk about it Thomas. I just don't."

"That doesn't matter! Nate, how could you let him do that to you? Why didn't you tell me? I would have done something," he said.

"And what would you have done? You would have kicked his ass, right? How would that help anything?" I yelled. "I loved him. I STILL love him, no matter what. Nothing you say or do would change that. But it doesn't matter because it's too late to fix things."

"It's never too late," Thomas told me, sighing.

"Try applying that principle to the relationship you have with your father, and then get back to me!"

I shouldn't have said it. I saw his eyes fill with tears before he left, slamming the door behind him.

I just keep screwing up over and over again.

"_**Just what would a good time be for you Nathan?" he asked, closing the door as I walked in.**_

"_**Call me Nate."**_

"**_Okay then Nate. What did you have in mind?"_**

**_Instead of answering him, I walked forwards and straddled him, grinding my butt into his crotch. He grinned before leaning in to kiss me._**

"_**Before you get there, you gotta do something for me first," he told me. I got off his lap and he started taking his belt off. "Get on your knees."**_

_**I was about to turn and run when the pills started to kick in. There really was no looking back. I'm done being the guy who gets shit on. I'll do what I want, not what other people want me to do.**_

_**I knelt down before him and lowered my head, about to violate the rules of the school and my own morals. **_

**Thomas**

After I left Nate's room, I called Theresa and told her I needed to talk with her. Even with the funeral and my fight with Nate, as selfish as it sounds, all I could think about was Theresa's pregnancy. What am I supposed to do? I already have a baby on the way with Kate, and now another one with her. Maybe this could be good for me. Maybe I'll start being a better person or something.

We decided to meet up around the corner from the school. It didn't take her long to get there.

"Before you say anything, let me just say this," I said, grasping onto her hand.

She nodded and didn't say a word.

"I have loved you since the day I met you. I want you to have this baby and I want to help you raise it. I know that this can all be so scary, but we have each other and we can do this," I said.

"Thomas…"

"Don't be scared Theresa. I love you," I reassured her.

"The baby…"

"What about the baby? Did something happen?" I asked, getting a little worried. The look on her face was almost horrifying.

"The baby isn't yours."

**Lindsey**

I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about the trial. It's next weekend. I already talked to Thomas and he agreed to lie too. So as long as everyone plays their part, it should be fine. But if we get caught lying…

I don't even want to think about that. But I know that once it's all over, I'll never be able to see Sarah again. I fought back tears as I heard a knock at my door.

"Who is it?" I yelled out.

"Your brother, now open up!" someone yelled. I stood up, slowly approaching the door.

How could my brother be here? I don't even have a brother. I pulled the door open and nearly crapped myself.

"Let me in!" the person hissed. I did as I was told, and locked the door behind me.

"This is bad," I said. She pulled her baseball cap off and let her hair flow out, then tore off the baggy hoodie she was waering.

"I didn't think you'd be this disappointed to see me," Sarah said, sitting on my bed.

"I'm not!" I disagreed. "But what if we get caught? It'll be all over!" I said, sitting next to her.

"It's going to be all over no matter what. And I had to see you. Besides, I'm not stupid. I have all my tracks covered and no one saw me come in here. I just talked to some secretary lady and she gave me a pass for the night. She didn't even suspect a thing. I'm your brother Steven and I'm visiting from school in Los Angeles," she explained.

I couldn't hold back my smile any longer.

"Well then, I can't help it. I'll just have to kiss my brother, even though some people frown upon it," I said before softly grazing her lips with mine. She pulled me down on top of her and we kissed for a few minutes.

"I love you," she blurted out in between kisses.

"I love you too," I murmured into her lips, pulling her shirt off.

**Rory**

God, I can't believe I feel like this. When I first saw Rex at school after I had been adopted, I didn't feel anything. I think I broke his heart when I left. I never said goodbye that day. And now I regret it more than ever.

Aside from that, I regret not talking to him. I never got to know him outside of that homeless whore situation we were in. So I don't even know if we would have been happy together without that setting. We were lonely back then.

Not that I'm not lonely right now.

I just can't believe he's gone.

"_**I just can't believe I found you," Rex whispered in my ear. Ever since that first night I met him, I'd been sleeping in his bed.**_

_**By a month into our friendship, we were in love—at least, it felt like we were. All I knew was that I couldn't imagine life without him. Those meaningless guys were nothing compared to Rex.**_

"_**I believe it," I told him, rolling over to face him. "We're here. And we're happy," I said, smiling before I kissed him. **_

"_**Yeah," was all he said. He kissed me this time, then wrapped an arm around my waist and laid his head on my shoulder.**_

"_**Why don't we just leave?" I asked. "We can get all our money together, and find somewhere to go, and…"**_

"_**Where would we go? I don't understand why you're even thinking about this…don't you like what we have right now?" he was starting to get angry. He even pulled away.**_

"_**I just thought it might be a good idea. You know, to get away from all of this. I'm scared Rex," I said, looking into his eyes.**_

"_**What is there to be afraid of?" he asked. "You know I'll always protect you."**_

"_**I'm scared that this will be what the rest of my life is like. I don't want this to be it. I just want…a family," I confessed, sighing.**_

"_**And we're not family enough for you? We can't leave these guys alone. They need us."**_

"_**Then we'll all go. More money will make it easier to find something at least a little decent…"**_

"_**This conversation is over." He rolled over, turning his back to me.**_

_**Instead of just ignoring what I felt, or starting the fight all over again, I simply curled up behind him and fell asleep.**_

**A/N: This chapter takes place on Friday, January 6th, just so I can keep track of certain months and whatnot. Sorry if the flashbacks were random, but I had to put them in there…especially Nate's since I wanted to show what happened with him and Kelly. There'll probably be more flashbacks of Rory and Rex…just to show what completely happened with them and all. That and I have nothing to happen with Rory at the moment. Let me know how the first chapter was! **

I'll only be updating once a week, so I guess it'll be on Thursdays. I've only written up to halfway through chapter six, so I have to get some more done! Sorry I took so long!

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of its characters.

**However, I do own the story line and the following characters: Rex, Alyssa, Thomas, Nate, Rory, Remy, Andrew, Theresa, Jesse, and Lindsey. Do not use them in any stories or take my story. I've worked very hard on this and I'll find out if you take anything from me. **


	2. Just Stay Awhile

**Chapter Two: Just Stay Awhile**

**Andrew**

"Where are my long sleeved shirts?" I asked, throwing clothes around the room.

"Why would you need those?" Rory asked, looking at me and frowning.

"No reason," I said, shrugging. Of course there was a reason. But I wasn't about to tell him.

"You're such a liar," Rory spat, coming at me full speed. I tried to back away, only to feel my back up against the bathroom door. He pulled my sleeve up, frowned again, then slapped me.

"That hurt!" I whined, putting my hand up to my cheek.

"Not as much as those did," he said, pointing to my cuts. "Why'd you start that again Andrew?" he asked, tears in his eyes.

"I didn't."

"Oh well then who did?" he asked, hands on his hips.

"The cat."

"You don't have a cat!" he said, glaring at me.

"Oh yes I do!" I answered. He watched, amazed, as I pulled a kitten out from under my blankets.

"Where'd you get that?" he asked, instantly cradling the kitten in his arms. Of course it wasn't the cat, but he doesn't have to know that.

"I snuck her in. Isn't she so cute?" I asked, grabbing her back and holding her up to my face. I kissed her on the nose before placing her back on the bed. "Her name's Lola," I said. "It mean's 'sorrowful.'"

"Oh," yet again, he frowned. "She is cute though. But where is she supposed to shit?"

'Under your bed," I said, smirking. I found a long sleeved shirt and went into the bathroom, leaving him speechless.

**Rory**

I looked under my bed, and sure enough, there was the litter box. Lola's food and water were under his bed. That's disgusting.

I'm not so sure that cat really made those cuts on him. They looked deeper than that. My poor Andrew. What am I going to do?

I was drawn out of my thoughts by the fast knocking on the door. I opened it, only to be knocked over by Jesse as he rushed in.

"I need to talk to Andrew," he puffed, out of breath.

"Um…whatever. He's in the bathroom."

I had no idea why _Jesse_ would want to talk to _Andrew_.

I rolled my eyes and left, eager to find something else to do.

**Marco**

I woke up in the morning to find myself alone. Jesse was long gone, and I was lying in an empty bed. This scenario is perfect because it's exactly how I feel. I feel completely alone. I know I have Jesse, and he's great. But…

I don't know. I just don't think this is right for me.

Then I heard the crying. So I'm not really alone. Not technically. I walked over to the crib that was near the end of Jesse's bed, replacing his desk. The headmaster had no choice but to let Gracie live with us. He wasn't going to deprive Jesse of his education, and besides, if he was kicked out of school, he has no parents to live with.

So she stays. Before Jesse goes to class, he has to ride the bus down to the nearest daycare where Gracie stays during the week.

Since she wouldn't stop crying, I picked her up and held her to me. I definitely wasn't used to it yet.

"Shhh. Come on Gracie," I complained. "Stop crying!" I was nearly yelling. I don't mix well with babies.

There was a knock on my door.

"Uh, come in!" I yelled above the crying baby.

"Hey, need some help?" Rory asked, stepping into the room. I instantly brightened when I saw him.

"Please," I said. He walked over and lifted her out of my arms; his hands lingering on mine for a second longer than necessary. My hands tingled at his touch, but I quickly pulled away and turned around, pretending to look for something.

I heard Gracie stop crying as soon as he held her. I spun around; amazed that he was able to quiet her.

"You okay?" he asked me as soon as the noise was gone.

"Um yeah," I replied, scratching my head. I looked up at him, lightly bouncing Gracie up and down. "She doesn't like me," I said, sighing.

"She's just not used to you yet," Rory assured me.

"But she barely knows you," I pointed out.

"Well, I'm not sure what to tell you." He shrugged. "It'll get better." He placed her on the towel at the end of my old bed—since Jesse and I slept in his every night—and took off her pajama pants.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"She needs her diaper changed Marco. I assumed that this is where you change her…"

"Oh yeah it is. I just wasn't sure if you knew how to do that."

"Do you?" he asked, sneaking a look at me while he took her diaper off.

"Not really. I tried once and it ended up on backwards," I confessed, laughing.

"Don't worry, you'll learn," he said, just finishing up.

"That was quick. How'd you learn to change diapers anyway? You have a kid we don't know about or something?" I joked.

"Thankfully no. One of the foster homes I was in had twin babies. And I had to take care of them. So I learned," he shrugged.

I just wanted to go over to him and kiss him or something. Rory was just so…perfect. But I can't still love him. I've already gone through a boyfriend, and now I have another one. Rory's in my past.

"You wanna hang out for a little while?" I asked him.

**Thomas**

Last night was a blur. After Theresa told me the baby wasn't mine, I left. She called me back, and tried to follow me, but I jumped in a cab and told the driver to take me to the nearest bar. I got pretty drunk, and woke up in a hotel room. The girl I was with held out a bottle of water and two aspirin.

"And you are…" I asked, annoyed with myself more than with her presence.

"Ellie," she replied. "Do you remember anything that happened last night?" My eyes widened at her name.

"Wait…Marco's Ellie?" I asked. God, I really screwed up this time.

"Yeah, I guess. If that's what you want to call me," she said, smiling. I recognized the red hair and soft smile from her visit to Marco when he was in the hospital.

"Sorry, I just…" I held my pounding head and sighed. "I thought you had a boyfriend? Jeremy or something…"

"Jay. And had would be the key word in that sentence," she said, looking at the floor.

"Please tell me that we at least used a condom. I can't take having another kid on the way," I said, looking over at her. She sat down on the bed next to me and took my hand.

"Trust me, I'm not that kind of girl," she said, laughing a little. "I recognized you from the hospital, and found you wandering the street outside this hotel. You were drunk off your ass and I offered you a place to stay," she explained.

"Well, thanks."

"You really need to talk to Theresa though," she said finally. I pulled my hand away from hers and scowled.

"How do you know her?" I asked.

"Well, for starters, you talked about her the all night. You complained that she's a slut and pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's baby who also happens to be your enemy. Then you cried about how you're still in love with her, even though she did it."

I felt my cheeks turn red.

"I didn't actually _cry_ did I?" I asked her.

"Yeah. You cried so much that I had to change my shirt. But don't worry about it. I won't tell anyone."

"Thanks, but did I mention anything else last night?"

"Like what?"

"Never mind." I really hoped that I hadn't said a word about my father. "So, why are you even here? Don't you have school back in Canada, and family?"

"Not anymore," she said, turning away from me.

"Come on, I shared my problems. Why can't you share yours?"

"You were drunk," she pointed out.

"That doesn't matter. You obviously need someone to listen to you. So I'm ready to listen."

I was really becoming a softie. And I hated it.

**Theresa **

"I messed up," I confessed, close to tears. I wasn't even sure why I still did this.

"And I would care why?" Remy asked, glaring at me. "I really don't like you in my room."

"You used to," I pouted, sitting down on his bed.

"Yeah, I did," he agreed. "Before we broke up. But we're over now, so, I'd like it if you left right now." He was working on some sort of art project.

"Remy, please. I have to tell you something." It was now or never.

"Fine. But make it quick. I want to finish this tonight," he groaned.

"I'm pregnant," I said quickly.

"Okay. Thomas has got to be shitting himself right now. He's already having a baby with some other girl that he won't talk about," Remy stated. "But why did you feel the need to tell me?"

"Because it's your baby."

**Lindsey **

"Can't you stay a little longer?" I asked Sarah, nuzzling my face into her neck. I kissed it before looking into her eyes and sticking out my bottom lip. "Please?"

"I can't, I'm sorry," she said, definitely holding back tears.

"Don't cry, just stay," I begged.

"Lindsey, I love you. These past few months have been great. And I'll never forget them," she cried, letting the tears spill down her cheeks.

"We can just leave. We'll be together forever," I said. It sounded lame, but I was being sincere.

"No, we can't. I'm fourteen years old Linds! I'm not old enough to be running away with some guy. I'm sorry," she said.

"You're right. But at the trial, we have to pretend we don't even know each other. And after that, I'll never see you again."

"I know." She continued crying for a minute, and we sat there in silence.

"Just…one last time?" I asked.

"Okay," she whispered, drying her face off.

**Ellie **

"Well, I don't know if I even want to talk to you about this kind of stuff," I told Thomas. "I barely even know you. This is the kind of thing I would talk to Marco about," I said.

"Well, pretend I'm Marco then," he said, smiling.

"That's pretty impossible, sorry. But I guess I'll talk to you since you cried your heart out to me last night."

"Hey, don't make fun of me. I was being sincere. I just didn't know it at the time," he said, laughing.

"You don't make any sense." I laughed along with him for a minute.

"Really though, what happened?" he asked, getting serious.

"My parents…well, my dad was on a peacekeeping mission for awhile. And my mom started drinking again…" I trailed off, unsure of whether or not I wanted to tell him about this.

"You can tell me. It's okay. I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"My dad never came back," I said, hanging my head.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know that it was going to be like that. I…" he started blabbering on and on.

"He didn't die," I told him. "He fell in love with some army nurse and ran away with her or something. He just left us. And then my mom started drinking even more. I had to force her into rehab when she woke up one morning and called me because she didn't know where she was. So that left me with nowhere to live. I really didn't want to go back to an empty house. And Jay…"

"You couldn't live with him?" Thomas asked. I laughed at the thought.

"He went back to his ex. He said that I had too much drama going on and if I needed pity sex, then he'd be the one to help me out. He's not really one to deal with actual problems," I stated coldly.

"Oh." He frowned a little. "So you're just going to live in a hotel? How do you even pay for this place?"

"My dad never took his credit cards with him. So I have those for now. And I was going to find the right time to talk to Marco about it."

"You have to graduate school," he said. "You're so close. Maybe you could go to Theresa's school. It's nearby," he suggested.

"I don't really mix well with private school," I said, scrunching my nose up.

"There's nothing else near Marco," he pointed out. "I could go with you and talk to the headmistress. She's a friend of my mom's."

"Thanks, that'd be nice."

"Why don't we go now?" he asked.

"Right now?"

"Yeah."

**A/N: I know Ellie's POV ended at a random point, but I had nothing else to put there. It feels good to actually be writing this again. **


	3. Out Of Place

**Chapter Three: Out Of Place**

**Marco**

"I really thought Jesse would be back by now. What are he and Andrew even talking about?" I asked Rory. We'd been just talking about random things like we used to while watching Gracie.

"I have no idea," he answered, shrugging.

"Well, I'll be right back. I'm going to bring his baby to him, and then we can go somewhere. I really don't feel like sitting in this room all day." I picked the baby up, grabbed a few bottles and jars of baby food out of the mini fridge, and headed off to Andrew's room.

I knocked on the door and after a few seconds, Andrew opened it. He looked away from me when he saw me. I looked past him and saw Jesse sitting on the floor. Apparently they'd been playing cards or something.

"Hey Marco," Jesse said, getting up and kissing me. "What's up?"

"I'm just brining Gracie to you. She missed you," I said, handing him the baby.

"Thanks. Hey honey," he said to her, kissing her on the cheek. "You want to join us?" he asked me. I glanced over at Andrew who was looking at the ground. Here I was, in a room with two people who used to be my best friends, and one of them was wrapped up in his new daughter, and the other didn't even want to be around me. I felt so out of place. They used to hate each other.

"No thanks. I can tell I'm making someone uncomfortable. I'll just see you later ok?" I gave him a sad look, but he just smiled.

"Yeah, later." He kissed me on the cheek then I turned away, eager to get back to Rory. At least I was welcome when I was around him.

**Jesse**

"How mad do you think he is at me right now?" I asked Andrew. Gracie had just fallen asleep, so I put her in the middle of Rory's bed with pillows surrounding her.

"Why would he be mad? We're just friends," he replied.

"Well, I left this morning without a word, and didn't even bring Gracie with me," I pointed out. "Besides, I know this was awkward for him."

"He'll just have to get used to us," Andrew said.

"Us?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, the fact that we're friends now," he answered.

"You have to talk to him Andrew," I said suddenly.

"About what?"

"About your breakup. About how you still want to be friends with him. Everything you've told me, you need to tell him. He feels the same way you know. He was telling me how he wished everything would be back to normal between you two," I explained.

"I just don't think I can do that right now. I'm sorry."

"Take your time Andrew. But it has to happen sooner or later."

**Ellie**

"There you go. Instant school," Thomas said, handing me the key to my new room.

"Thanks for helping me out," I said, hugging him.

"Don't worry about it. Why don't we go get your stuff from the hotel and bring it here?"

"I guess we should," I agreed.

The trip to the hotel was silent. Neither of us knew what to do or say. We were moving into an awkward feeling between us. All of my belongings—which weren't much—were packed into a taxi. I checked out of the hotel and was on my way to my new home for the next five months.

"Okay, here it is," Thomas told me, pointing to the door.

"I wonder who my roommate will be," I said. "I hope she's nice."

"She probably won't be," Thomas joked. "Most girls here aren't."

"Thanks for the confidence. You could have at least lied to me," I said, laughing. I stuck the key in the door and turned it. We walked in the room, dragging my two suitcases, and found it empty. Whoever my roommate was, she wasn't here.

Thomas helped me put my stuff away, and then we sat down on the empty bed. I saw a stack of uniforms in my size lying across the pillow.

"Wow, they're fast," I said, looking at them with a bit of disgust.

"I can't even picture you wearing that," he said, laughing.

"Hey, don't make fun of me. You have to wear one too," I protested, putting on a fake frown.

"But I don't have to wear a skirt." He laughed again.

"Oh, you think that's funny do you?" I asked. I picked my pillow up and hit him with it.

"Don't get me started. I could pillow kick your ass any day!" he yelled playfully.

"You wouldn't hit a girl," I said, grinning.

"No, but I would do this…" he wrapped his arms around me, trying to get the pillow from behind my back. When I wouldn't give it up, he started tickling me. I laughed until it hurt, then let go of the pillow. Joking around, Thomas dropped me, and I landed on it. He leaned in close. "I knew I'd win," he said. All I could do was stare at his lips.

"Hope I'm not interrupting something," someone said from near the door. I jumped up in surprise, my head colliding with Thomas'.

"Actually, you were," Thomas said, turning around. He stopped in his tracks. I held a hand to my head and looked away from her, my cheeks blushing.

"Surprised to see me Thomas?" Theresa asked. "You move on so fast," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. "And with my new roommate too."

**Andrew**

"Why can't I ever find someone who's right for me, and actually stays in my life?" I complained to Lola. Yeah, the only one I have to talk to right now is my cat.

"Lola, I hate my life right now. Alex died because of me. If those guys hadn't seen us out in public together, he'd be alive right now. He's be in this bed with me instead of you." I let a single tear fall from my eye and the kitten mewed at me. I hugged her tight and sighed.

"And I drove Marco away when I needed him the most. But maybe Jesse just needed him more. I wish he was still here right now. I probably drove him away too." Lola mewed again, almost in protest.

"I guess you're right. He just had to go because of the baby. But…I miss him. It's weird isn't it? This kid was my enemy recently. And now, I feel like he's the only friend I have that will listen. I mean, sure, I have my brothers, but even they're mad at me right now."

Instead of continuing my one-sided conversation with my cat, I thought about what happened that morning between Jesse and me, and what it meant to me.

"_**You're so lucky," I said, sighing. We'd been playing cards in silence for over an hour, except for the occasional yelling and laughing about who was winning.**_

"**_How so?" he asked, placing his cards on the carpet. "I'm eighteen years old, I have a baby that belongs to my dead ex boyfriend and English teacher, and I don't have any family to go back to when I graduate. Not to mention my lack of a real job," he complained. _**

"_**But you have Marco," I pointed out. "It seems everyone wants him these days. And you got him," I said, trying not to cry. If I'd never broken up with Marco, I'd be talking to him instead of Jesse. But, I didn't mind that it was Jesse. I just minded that it wasn't Marco. If that makes any sense. **_

"_**Don't tell him this, but…Marco's no Rex. I just miss him so much. I almost feel like I'm trying to substitute Marco for him. How wrong is that?" he started to cry then. And I knew exactly how he felt.**_

_**I moved over next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. **_

"**_I know what you mean. And I won't tell him. Because I think I did the same thing. And Marco sure wasn't any Alex either," I confessed. "We both used him."_**

"_**But I can't let him go," Jesse said, wiping some tears away. "Ever since the moment I met him, I felt something. I just have to figure out where that something is."**_

"_**Good luck," I said. "I'll always be here for you if you need me," I told him.**_

"_**Thanks Andrew." He leaned in and hugged me, our bodies together as one. **_

_**I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. We just shared a moment—no matter how small—it was still something. **_

But there's no way I can be falling for Jesse.

Is there?

**Nate**

I really fucked up with Thomas. He probably never wants to speak to me again. I wouldn't blame him. The situation between Craig and I was completely different than the one between him and his dad. Since he wouldn't answer my calls, and wasn't in his room, I decided to go see Kelly. He seemed to be able to make me feel better.

But I always had to take the pills first.

I popped three this time, and went off in search of him. He wasn't in his room, so I checked his classroom. Yep, there he was, grading papers. I snuck in the room and closed the door, locking it. With the click of the lock, he looked up, startled. But then a small grin formed across his lips.

"I was wondering when you'd come back to me. Can't get enough?"

"Hardly," I replied. I couldn't believe the words that came out of my mouth. I was almost turning into the gay version of Thomas. But inside the hard shell was a wimpy little gay who had to take pills to feel good.

"Come over here then and I'll help you get your mind off of him," he said, motioning towards his lap. I sat down and he kissed me, sucking on my bottom lip for a moment. It felt so good, but so wrong at the same time. This guy was eight years older than me…and my teacher. But…I can't resist. Maybe it's the pills, or maybe it's just the person I've become.

Either way, I don't like the person I am right now.

**Remy**

I still couldn't believe what Theresa had told me earlier that morning. She's having my baby? I don't even know how to deal with this. I told her that I didn't want to talk to her, and she just left. I have no clue where she went, but it wasn't back to Thomas. I was pretty sure that he was pissed at her now too.

Why did I have to fall in love with her in the first place? If that hadn't happened over four and a half years ago, I wouldn't be where I am right now. Girls definitely bring too much drama. I'm ready to choose for good. No more bisexual Remy.

It's gay Remy from here on out.

**Thomas **

"I'm not sure why I agreed to this," I complained. Theresa and I just had a long talk about how we felt, and what was going on. She wasn't mad about Ellie. I explained to her that it was just a friendly thing, and how I helped her get into the school. I could tell Ellie wasn't too pleased with her new roommate, but she'd manage.

"Because we love each other, and it has to be done," she said, wrapping her arms around me as we walked towards Remy's room.

"What am I even going to say?"

"It's all his fault Thomas. I didn't want to sleep with him, but he just seduced me. He was acting like he used to. And he must have put something into my water, because I felt weird, like I couldn't control myself," she said.

Each word makes me even more pissed off. This creep took advantage of my girlfriend, and he's gonna pay.

**A/N: What did you think? Please review if you have time; I really appreciate it, and it makes me want to get chapters out even faster! **

**Here's another chapter...I'm getting a little disappointed with my reviews. I used to get so many and now I'm not really getting any at all. **


	4. Don't Make This Harder Than It Has To Be

**Chapter Four: Don't Make This Harder Than It Has To Be **

**Rory**

"Who would have thought that a park could be so relaxing?" Marco said while yawning. We had gone out to lunch, and then I suggested the park. Now we were lying on the ground, looking up at the sky.

"Who _wouldn't_ think that the park was relaxing?" I countered. I was having such a good time just _being_ with Marco. Just the fact that he was there next to me was enough to keep me happy for the time being. I thought less and less about Rex's death and more about the present.

"Well, there's just usually a bunch of screaming kids and their parents running after them and screaming," he said. "Just a huge mass of screams and yells and all of that. But it's actually quiet," he said, sounding amazed.

"Yeah. Central Park was always my favorite place. That's why I love my parents and my siblings. We live right next to the park," I said.

"Why didn't we ever go together?" Marco asked me, propping himself up on his elbows. I did the same, turning to look at him, before answering.

"Well…things just happened over Winter break, and…" I trailed off, not wanting to get back on the topic.

"Yeah, that's true," he said, squinting his eyes at me because of the sun. "We should go sometime," he suggested.

"Marco," I sighed out before letting myself fall back to the ground. "You have a boyfriend."

"So what? That doesn't mean I can't have a friend. And friends hang out together. Besides, Jesse has friends. He hangs out with my ex boyfriend," he pointed out.

"And so do you," I replied, meaning myself.

"I don't care Rory. I want to hang out with you, so I'm going to." He moved closer to me and looked down. With him up over me like that, I wanted to kiss him, but I knew I couldn't.

He leaned down further and just looked into my eyes. It was like he was searching for something but couldn't find it.

"I love your eyes," he said finally.

"Thanks," I choked out, nearly a whisper. I couldn't resist him then. I lifted myself up to kiss him. Our lips were almost touching, and he closed his eyes. But then I realized what I was doing. I couldn't let Marco cheat on Jesse. Jesse would never forgive him, and then Marco would hate me for ruining their relationship.

I lay back down softly, and Marco opened his eyes. Letting out a sigh, he stood up and looked away, obviously uncomfortable and a little embarrassed. I knew how he felt because it was exactly how I felt. I stood up next to him and sighed myself, causing him to turn and look at me.

"We should get going," was all I said. He nodded his head in agreement and we began walking back to the bus stop.

**Thomas**

I lifted a fist to Remy's door and knocked. Theresa held my other hand tightly, as if she was even afraid to be there. I didn't blame her. I knew what it felt like when someone forced themselves on me.

After I knocked a few more times, he finally pulled it open so hard that the door slammed against the wall behind it, echoing throughout the hallway.

"What do you want?" he complained, scratching the back of his head.

"We have to talk," I said in the most menacing way possible. I narrowed my eyes at him and puffed out my chest a little. I was definitely bigger than him anyway, but I wanted to make him feel even more inferior than he already should have.

"Fine, come in. I'd love you have you," he said sarcastically. Smirking I waltzed right in, making sure to keep an arm around Theresa's waist. Remy needed to understand that she was with me, not him.

"Listen you little creep," I started as soon as the door was closed. "You better not lay a hand on my girlfriend ever again," I spat. "I know how you seduced her and now she's pregnant!" I yelled. "I should beat your ass right now."

"And risk being called a gay basher?" he shot back. "Doubtful."

I lunged at him, but he jumped back before sitting down onto his bed.

"Besides," he added. "I didn't seduce her. I couldn't seduce a girl if my life depended on it. Much less a girl like Theresa. She's the one that came onto me. So before you come to me, you better get your facts straight."

"You're such a liar!" I yelled. "She's having your fucking baby and she didn't even want to sleep with you!" Instead of answering, he just laughed.

"Oh please. If that baby's even mine. It's probably not mine or yours. Theresa likes to sleep around. She always has."

"Don't talk about her like that!" I yelled back. "This is all your fault Remy! That baby…." But I didn't get to finish. Because she cut me off before I finished, and before Remy could argue further.

"THERE IS NO BABY!" she yelled as loud as she could.

The room fell silent as we let her words sink in.

"What?" I asked softly.

"You lied to both of us?" Remy asked, equally surprised.

"Not exactly. There's no baby _anymore_."

"You killed his baby?" I asked in awe. "We were going to raise it together Theresa! We just talked about this before we came here. You let me agree to that when you knew there wasn't a baby anymore? How could you do that to me? How could you even do that to _him_? Remy is my sworn enemy and I wouldn't wish that on him!" I yelled. I was so angry.

"Don't come to my defense," Remy said to me. "She's done it before."

"What? Exactly how many kids have you conceived together?" I directed the question at Remy this time. I didn't really want to talk to her about this right now.

"It wasn't my baby before. It was in tenth grade. After that dance…" he trailed off, looking at me with sympathy.

"What?" I whispered. I held back tears. I couldn't cry in front of Remy.

"When Theresa and I were together…and she cheated on me with you. She got pregnant and had an abortion. It was your baby Thomas."

**Lindsey**

"How's Kate?" I asked Sarah. She was getting dressed after our second time having sex that day.

"She's okay. She's just freaking out about everything. I don't know how she's going to deal with the baby. I really don't think that our dad is going to let her keep it. She wants to, but he disagrees right now. I don't think he'll give in either. He wants her to put it up for adoption," she explained.

"Does she know if it's a boy or girl yet?"

"No. She's not going to find out either. She said she doesn't want to know because it'll make everything harder when she gives the baby up. She told me that if she even sees the baby or hears it cry, she'll want to keep it. But that's not happening."

"Tell her I'm sorry. Thomas is really going through some hard stuff with his family, and he's just scared to be a dad. Tell her that he'll come around eventually," I said, trying to reassure her.

"But he can't. My dad would kill him anyway. And it would completely ruin the trial."

"I'm so sorry that we got you both into this situation. If I could take it back, I would. Not the fact that I love you…I'll never take that back. But all of the trouble I got you into…" I trailed off, becoming more upset with each word.

"Lindsey, it's not entirely your fault. Neither of us should have been in a bar or even drinking at this age. I guess we've both learned a huge lesson. But I wouldn't take my love back either. Or the time we got to spend together. I love you," she said, hugging me.

"I love you too," I told her, kissing her one last time.

"I have to go now," she said, tears trailing down her cheeks.

"I know. I'll never forget any of this," I said.

"Goodbye."

Then she got up and walked out of my life. I couldn't say goodbye because I didn't want it to be the last time I talked to her.

**Andrew**

"Hey Jesse," I said into the phone. "Do you want to go somewhere for awhile? Rory's not back yet so…" I trailed off, unsure of what to say. I wished I could come right out and say it: I think I like you. I want to spend time with you.

"I can't, sorry. Marco just called and said he was on his way. We're going out to dinner," he replied.

"That's okay. I guess that means Rory's coming back soon. I'll hang out with him," I said, trying not to sound disappointed.

"Okay cool. I'll see you in class on Monday then." I could tell he was about to hang up.

"Wait!" I called into the phone.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Why don't we hang out sometime tomorrow?" I asked, giving one last attempt. It didn't work though. I heard him sigh through the phone.

"The truth is Andrew…We can't hang out anymore. I don't want to hurt you, but after the conversation we had today, I realized that I need to spend more time with Marco. I can't ruin our relationship," he said quickly.

"I…"

"I'm sorry Andrew. I gotta go. Marco just got home." I heard a kiss as Marco greeted his boyfriend. He hung up the phone before I could even say goodbye.

At that moment, I felt so alone. I waited for Rory and he never came. I had no idea where he would have gone, but he didn't even come back to hang out with me; his own brother. Lola was sleeping at the end of my bed, so I couldn't play with her either.

I decided to take a walk. Anything was better than sitting in my room alone.

**Marco**

"So, what do you want to do tonight after dinner?" I asked Jesse while we were waiting for our food. Gracie was asleep in her car seat that was placed on the chair next to Jesse.

"Well, we could spend the night in our room," he suggested. "Or we could…"

"What?"

"I'm not sure. There's not really anywhere else we can go with the baby. Except maybe the park," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"_**I love your eyes," I said, looking down at him.**_

**_He raised himself up to meet me. Our lips were so close. I closed my eyes, waiting for it to happen…_**

"Marco?" Jesse called out.

"Yeah, what? I'm sorry," I said, embarrassed. "I was spacing out."

"So, no park then?" he asked.

"Uh, no thanks. We should just stay in."

I was really getting sick of sitting at home every night. Of course it's great to be with Jesse, but we don't spend quality time together. We usually start a movie, and then Gracie wakes up, interrupting it. Or we'll actually start making out and fooling around, and then, surprise, surprise; Gracie wakes up and interrupts us.

"Are you okay?" Jesse asked, reaching across the table and holding onto my hand.

"I'm fine," I lied. "Just a little tired."

"Well then, why don't we get our food to go, and we can go to bed early," he said, grinning.

"Sure, that'd be great," I told him, forcing a smile.

**Remy**

The silence in the room was uncomfortable. Thomas was holding back tears. All of us could tell. Theresa didn't say a word, and neither did I. I knew exactly how he was feeling. I'd just found out about my own baby too. I was upset, yeah, but not surprised. Theresa can never be trusted. I finally spoke, breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I'm sure you are Remy," he shot back, glaring at me. "I'm sure you're so sorry that you had to be the one to tell me about my dead kid. I'd have a two year old right now!" he yelled. "I bet you're sorry to have to tell the person you hate the most in the world that his girlfriend _killed_ his baby and never told him about it!"

"Thomas, I know you're angry," I said as calm as I could. "But I know how you feel. I just found out the same thing."

"You have no idea how I feel!" he yelled back. "You have a family Remy! I don't have that, but I could have two years ago." At this point, he did start crying. I felt terrible. I don't think I ever felt worse in my life.

"Thomas," Theresa whispered.

"Don't talk to me!" he yelled. Without another word, he turned and left, slamming the door behind him.

I turned to look at Theresa, and she was in tears.

"How could you do that?" she yelled. "I didn't want him to know! That's why I never told him."

"I don't want to talk to you either!" I yelled right back at her. I was starting to feel the same anger as Thomas, and I wasn't sure what I would do if I had to see her. I held the door open and waited for her to leave.

With tears in her eyes, she took one last look at me and walked out, pulling the door closed behind her.

**Jesse**

"The baby's asleep," I said, crawling over to Marco and kissing him. He turned the television off and turned towards me, smiling.

"Why don't we go lie down then?" he asked. I followed him over to my bed and got on top of him, trailing kisses from his chin to his chest. I took my shirt off to match his naked torso, and he rolled over so that he was on top.

"I'm so glad we can have some time together," I whispered, kissing him again. I slipped my tongue into his mouth, letting my hands explore every inch of him that I could touch.

"Me too," he mumbled into my mouth. He reached down and started pulling my pants off. I grabbed his hands to stop him.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. We just haven't…"

"Shhh," she said, kissing me again.

"Okay," I agreed. He started pulling my pants off once again. We made out while our clothes went flying. Feeling his hands all over me made me feel alive again. As corny as it sounds, I almost felt like it was the first time I was happy since Rex died. "I love you Marco," I whispered as he sucked on my bottom lip.

Marco paused and didn't say anything. He looked into my eyes and smiled.

And then, Gracie started to cry.

**A/N: This chapter takes place on Saturday, January 7th. I know, I'm sorry I've written three chapters for just one day, but I can't help it. I just like to leave you wondering and all that. There will be a huge time jump at some point because I want them all to have graduated by the tenth chapter at least. I was trying to make it five, but that's only one chapter away and I definitely can't work that. **


	5. The Art Of Losing

**Chapter Five: The Art Of Losing **

**Rory**

I sat on the bench at the park, watching the sunset. I would have loved to share this with Marco, but after our little 'moment,' we split up. After he got back to the school, I left again and came right back here. Instead of thinking about Marco any longer, I let my mind drift to Rex.

_**I never brought up the subject of leaving again. Rex had gotten so distant that night that I decided it wasn't a good idea. I didn't want to leave without him, so I stayed put. He was the first person that made me feel safe in my life. And that was a big deal to me, especially since we were homeless in New York City. **_

"_**Hey," I said, sitting down on his bed. We were the only two people there. The other guys were out on jobs. **_

"_**I was just thinking about you," Rex said, smiling and kissing me on the cheek. **_

"_**What were you thinking?" I asked, looking at him. **_

"_**Rory, I…" he trailed off before looking away.**_

"_**What is it?" I pulled his chin so he would look at me.**_

"_**I was thinking that I want…" He sighed, unable to get the words out.**_

"_**You can tell me anything," I said, kissing his neck.**_

"_**I want to be with you," he finally said. I stopped what I was doing, but left my lips resting on his neck.**_

"_**I thought you were with me," I said, my lips grazing his skin as I spoke.**_

"_**I am. But I want us to, you know…"**_

"_**Oh," I whispered softly, pulling away from him.**_

"**_It's okay that you don't want to. I understand, I really do. The way we live doesn't really make room for that kind of thing. I just thought that I could make it different for you. I know that I can make it better," he finished, looking into my eyes._**

"_**Rex, I think…"**_

"_**What we do is just a job. It's not supposed to feel good; it's just to make money. But I want you to be able to feel good. And I want to be the person that makes you feel good."**_

"**_I want to be with you too," I told him. "Right now." _**

_**I pulled my shirt off, and then did the same with his. We didn't really speak, we just moved in time with each other. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Rex's touch was soft and strong at the same time. Our bodies met and blended together perfectly. **_

I wiped a tear away as I thought of that special moment between Rex and me. It was the first and only time we had sex, but it was perfect. We were perfect together. What happened to make us so far apart?

**Marco**

I watched Jesse walk away from me to pick up his daughter. Rolling my eyes, I stood up and grabbed a t-shirt, pulling it on.

"Where are you going?" he asked me as I walked towards the door.

"I need some air," I said, opening the door and looking back to him.

"Marco, I'm sorry," he sighed, holding Gracie close to him while rocking her back to sleep.

"Don't be sorry," I told him. "You have bigger responsibilities now."

"I didn't mean for it to be like this. I just want us to be together. The way we used to be." He looked down at the floor, but by the time he would have looked up, I would have been gone. I left the room while he wasn't looking. I wasn't sure what else to say. I didn't plan on this either. People aren't supposed to have kids at this age.

I walked out of the building, unsure of where I was going to go. It was going to be dark soon, so I wasn't going to go walking off on my own. I finally decided to just sit down with my back against the building and watch the sunset. I instantly wished I had someone to share it with. Rory would have liked to see it.

Thinking about Rory made me think about everything that's happened since my dad sent me here. I remembered how the first time I saw Jesse, when he sat down next to me on the train, I felt something click. My first thoughts about him were that maybe he could be the one to make me forget about Dylan. And then I remembered how I instantly fell in love with everything about Andrew as soon as I'd had a conversation with him. Then how Rory and I got together to make him jealous. And I fell in love with Rory.

How can I fall in love with all these guys? It's like it's something easy for me to do. After Andrew and I broke up, I realized he wasn't the one for me. My love for him was purely friendly. He is a great friend to me. But when Rory and I broke up, the love never faded. I can still feel it there, and see it when I look at him. As much as I'd like to push it aside, I can't. It's not fair to Jesse, because I never even gave him a real chance. I'm trying to do that now, but now that he's a father, he has different priorities.

I just wish I knew what to do. I hate feeling like this, and I don't want to hurt anyone.

"You okay?" a familiar voice asked as the person sat down next to me.

"What are you doing here?"

**Theresa**

I really screwed up this time. Maybe if I'd told Thomas about being pregnant when it happened, he wouldn't hate me right now. I can't really blame Remy. Because I should have told him what I was planning on doing.

I've made so many mistakes that I can't take back. I just know that back in tenth grade, I wouldn't have been able to take care of a child. And I still can't do it now. The thought of having to give my child up to people I don't know is just as bad for me. So I did the one thing I knew, but it didn't help.

I sat on my bed, crying. I could feel an empty space where my baby used to be. It felt like this the last time too. I had Remy to help me through it though, and right now I have nobody. My new roommate isn't even here. She probably hates the fact that she has to room with a stupid slut like me.

I want to be different, I really do. But every time I try, I get caught up in some guy that makes me forget what I should be doing. Remy was my first love, but I screwed up everything with him. It's probably my fault that he went experimenting in ninth grade, and then decided to be gay.

That little thing I had with Thomas in tenth grade never really ended either. Our attraction towards each other is purely physical though, and we probably shouldn't have gotten together in the first place. I just needed someone to get my mind off of my failed relationship with Remy. Before we broke up, I hadn't failed at anything in my life. But now I've failed Thomas too.

I have to change before I can fail at anything else.

**Ellie**

"I thought I'd visit you," I told Marco. He was so surprised to see me. We hugged before he asked anything else.

"But…what about school? How are you here? Is there some random break back at DCS or something?"

"No. I left Marco, and I'm not going back," I said, tears forming in my eyes.

"What happened?" he asked, grabbing onto my hand. "Are you okay?"

"Not really," I said, letting the tears fall. "I'm so sick of people hurting me," I cried out.

"Tell me everything," he said.

"Well, it all started when we got a phone call from my dad…"

I told him the entire story, from start to finish, with much more detail than the quick summary I supplied Thomas with. I added the part about Thomas being drunk and staying the night, and about him helping me get into Theresa's school, but I left out the part where we almost kissed. It wasn't something that I wanted to discuss with him at the time.

"I'm sorry about all of it Ellie, and I don't want what I'm going to say sound selfish, but you have no idea how happy I am that you're here. I've missed you so much and I really need you," he said.

"Same here," I said, smiling and hugging him again.

"And believe me; there are _much_ better guys here than there are in Toronto. You'll find someone who actually appreciates you," he told me.

"Thanks. I really hope so," I said, leaning against him. "Have you found that yet?" I asked.

He was silent for a minute but I didn't press the subject.

"Yeah, I guess I have," he finally answered.

**Remy**

A few minutes after Thomas and Theresa were gone; I got called down to the headmaster's office. I had no idea why, but as I sat in the chair waiting, I came up with a number of possibilities. The worst one was that someone had told about Kelly and me; maybe even he had told. I wasn't quite sure what he was capable of, but because of all the funerals, none of us had really been in class at all since we got back.

"Come on in Remy," Headmaster Collins said from his door.

I got up and sat down again in the chair across from his desk, nervously tapping my foot on the floor. He didn't look pleased.

"Remy, something came to my attention yesterday, and it didn't make me too happy. You've always been a good student, but I had a meeting with Mr. James, your chemistry teacher and…"

"I can explain!" I said, interrupting him. Of course I couldn't explain, but I had to say something. Maybe I could lie my way out of it.

"I'm not sure there's any way to explain the fact that you're failing Chemistry. I don't know if you got lazy, or think you don't have to work hard because graduation is approaching. I do realize that you've suffered the death of a classmate and a teacher very close to one another, but we can't just give away A's. If you don't start doing your work, there will be consequences," he explained.

"What?" I asked, in complete shock. I was so sure that he knew about Kelly and me. I felt my breath stuck in my throat, completely awed at how close I'd come to mentioning something that he had no idea about. I smiled before remembering where I was sitting.

"Mr. Michaels, I assure you that this is no joke. If you don't bring your grade up to at least a C, you will not graduate," the headmaster told me.

"Of course it isn't a joke sir. I'm sorry," I said. "What do I have to do?" I was sure that the reason I was failing was just because I hadn't been to class. I was also sure that he was going to tell me that I just needed to make up my work.

"Mr. James has suggested private tutoring. Starting Monday, you are to report to his classroom every day after school ends for and two hours. It may sound extreme, but I agree with him on this matter, and it is not optional. If that's what it takes to help you graduate, then I support the idea fully. Do you understand?" he asked.

"Yes sir," I said while nodding.

"Good, you're dismissed."

I left the office without even saying goodbye. That bastard. He's going to force me into these tutoring sessions with no alternative. He's got me right where he wants me, and I'm not sure if there's any way out of it at all. I'll be his bitch, just so I can graduate.

**Jesse**

Marco didn't come back for awhile. I had no idea where he went, but almost two hours later, he came back, while I was struggling to do some homework. We all had loads of makeup work to do, but I couldn't even do it while he was gone. I was afraid that he went off with someone else. And more importantly, I was afraid that he wouldn't come back.

"I was getting worried," I said, closing my math book.

"I can take care of myself," he shot back, sitting down on his bed. "Or were you worried that I was cheating on you?" he asked. I didn't answer him, so he pretty much knew what I had been thinking of. "It's nice that you don't even trust me."

"I do trust you Marco," I said, trying not to cry. "I just…"

"Well, you don't have to worry. I was with Ellie," he said before laying down and rolling over, leaving me staring at his back.

It was the first night that we didn't sleep in the same bed.

I turned my light off, got under the blankets, and cried myself to sleep.

**Nate**

I snuck out of Kelly's bedroom, thinking no one had seen me. As I walked away, I felt someone behind me. I wheeled around, ready to yell at whoever it was that was following me, but I just froze, staring at him.

"What were you doing in there?" he asked, glaring at me all of a sudden.

"Why do you care?" I asked him. "What are you even doing in this part of the school?"

"What makes you think I don't care?"

"Maybe the fact that you haven't even spoken to me since we got into that little fight," I said.

"Nate, what you said really hurt me. I told you my secret in confidence, thinking that you wouldn't try to blame it on me. Lindsey understood that it wasn't my fault, so why can't you?" Thomas asked.

"I don't think it was your fault. Just like I don't think what Craig did to me was my fault either. But you seemed to think so."

"No, I don't. I was just angry. I was angry that Craig did that to you, and angry that I couldn't be there to protect you. And worst of all, I was angry that you never came to me," he explained.

"I'm sorry Thomas. You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose that."

"I'm sorry too. Now will you tell me what you were doing with that guy? I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. He's tutoring me because I suck at Chemistry. You know that. I would never do anything like Remy did, trust me," I lied. I couldn't tell him the truth. He wouldn't look at me the same. "But why are you here?"

"It's a long story, having to do with a certain girlfriend. But I really need a drink."

"I'm pretty sure I have some beer in my fridge. It's leftover from Craig," I told him.

"What are we waiting for then?"

I was glad that Thomas and I made up. I could really use a friend right now.

**A/N: The title of the chapter comes from the song, "The Art Of Losing" by Rise Against and they own it. It was actually one of the titles I was considering for the story. **

**I have to say that I'm really disappointed in my reviewers. For Take Me As I Am, I had about 8-10 reviews for every chapter...and I'm not getting nearly as much for this story. I only got 3 in a week! What happened to all my loyal reviewers? I'd like to know who'd like me to continue with the story...**


	6. When Lonliness Strikes, Grab a Beer

**Chapter Six: When Loneliness Strikes, Grab A Beer…Or Not **

**Nate **

"I love beer!" Thomas yelled.

"Of course you do. You're drunk, and I think that's enough for you," I told him, taking the half empty bottle away.

"Come on Nate givitbak," he slurred.

"No Thomas. You've almost drank the entire pack. You're done," I told him again.

"You take such good care of meeeeeeee," he said, smiling. We were sitting next to each other on the floor, watching TV.

"Someone has to," I said, laughing at him.

"Well, I'm glad that someone is you," he replied. He turned the TV off and we were in complete darkness.

"Thomas?" I asked into the dark. "I can't see."

"That's the whole point!" he shouted. He laughed and I could hear him moving around.

That's when I felt his lips on mine.

I pulled away, completely confused by the situation, and jumped up to turn the light on.

"What the hell was that for?" I asked, sitting far away from him on my bed.

"That was your thank youuu," he replied, following me and sitting down.

"Why did you kiss me Thomas? You're straight, and you're drunk.

"You told me that you loved me!" he yelled. "No one else does, so I figured I'd go for it," he said, grinning.

"No, you're just heartbroken over my sister and you're drunk. I think it's time you go back to your room now," I suggested.

"Nope. I'm staying right here with you. Because I know you'll never let me downnnnn," he said, dragging out his words. "You're my best friend Natey."

"Fine then. But we're going to bed now. You go over and sleep in that bed." I stripped down to my boxers and so did he, and we climbed into separate beds. I was sure he had passed out by the time I turned the light off. I was wrong though, because as soon as I rolled over towards the wall, I felt Thomas get into bed with me.

"Go back to your own bed," I ordered him.

"No," he said like a little kid. "I'm staying here." I felt his arms around me and I didn't know what to do. I'd been in love with Thomas ever since I realized I was gay. But he was straight, so that was the end of it. But now…he's willingly latching onto me. I don't know if it's the beer, or my sister's deception, or both, but I'm afraid I can't help myself.

Thomas leaned over me and kissed me again, but this time, I didn't pull away. I slid my tongue into his mouth, running it along his. My mind was screaming at me to stop, to leave, to just end it. But I couldn't. I gave in to temptation and went along for the ride.

We made out for quite awhile, until our lips were swollen and our hands had traveled over each other's bodies at least twice.

When it was over, I instantly felt guilty. I turned towards the wall once again to shut him out. He pressed up against me, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed my neck before passing out right there. I felt his breath on my chest for a long time until I fell asleep too, unaware of the consequences that lay ahead.

**Lindsey **

I couldn't sit and mope in the prison that is my room. I decided to go out and make some bad decisions instead of think about Sarah. I couldn't have her anymore. I had to make peace with the fact that she was never going to come back. I had my goodbye. And now I had to get drunk.

I avoided the bar that I met Sarah in. That only caused me trouble. So I went to some new place. I don't even remember what it was called. I can remember sitting down at the bar and getting drunk off my ass. Then some equally drunk girl joined me. We ended up dancing all night; our bodies pressed firmly against each other while we thought about someone else.

Then I brought her back to the dorm with me. I honestly have no clue how we got in undetected and made it past the teachers. I guess the worst aspect of the school is its pathetic security.

I don't know what else happened between the girl and me. We most likely slept together for the worst reasons. But I can't help it. There's no real cure for a broken heart.

**Andrew**

As much as I was sick of being the lonely, depressed gay teenager who just so happens to be suicidal and cuts himself. But there wasn't much I could do about it. Ever since Alex…I just haven't been the same. I wasn't like this before I met him. Only after he was killed. A part of me wants to track down those assholes that did it and kill them all, but I know that wouldn't bring him back. Nothing could ever bring him back to me.

I remember the last time I saw him. He was mad at me because I wouldn't kiss him in public. I just wasn't comfortable with people seeing me; the real me.

"_**I love you," Alex said, brushing some hair out of my face. We were standing outside the movie theater, trying to decide which movie to see.**_

"_**I love you too," I replied. He grabbed onto my hand and leaned in to kiss me, but I backed away. "There are people around," I whispered, gently loosening my hand and stepping back from him.**_

"**_I realize that Andy. We're out in a public place. That means people will be around," he said, grinning. I couldn't resist his smile. It had an effect on me that I would never forget. He tried to take my hand again, but I wouldn't let him. "Are you seriously not going to kiss me?"_**

"_**Why do I have to do it here?" I asked, shoving my hands into my pockets.**_

"_**You don't have to do anything. But I thought you might want to kiss your boyfriend whom you just said 'I love you' to. I now know that I was wrong." He started to back up from me.**_

"_**Where are you going? Why don't we just pick a movie?"**_

"_**Andy, call me when you figure out if you're ready for this. I'll always love you," was all he said. He turned around and walked away. The worst part is that I never went after him. If I had…I just should have stopped him. I should have kissed him right there, and yelled to the world that I loved him. But, as much as I did love him, I didn't go after him.**_

Alex died that night.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks before I realized it. It was my fault that he died. If I had kissed him, or at least gone with him, he'd be alive right now. He'd be sitting next to me right now. I wouldn't be leaning up against his grave stone, tracing the letters of his name on the stone, then tracing those same letters on my skin.

My Alex. Alexander Michael Donovan. My everything.

**Theresa **

I woke up and didn't know where I was. After looking around, I realized I was at Thomas' school, in bed with one of his classmates. Then, once I looked closer, I realized I was in Thomas' room. But I wasn't with Thomas. What did I do now?

I leaned over as far as I could and recognized Lindsey. Thomas' best friend. I really fucked up this time. I wanted to change, and I thought I should get one last night out before I did. And look what happened.

I knew what I had to do. There was no way I would let Lindsey find out who he spent the night with. I didn't want Thomas to find out either. I quickly grabbed my bra from the floor and changed my shirt from his back to mine. As quietly as I could, I left the room and made sure no one saw me.

**Thomas **

"Oh shit!" I yelled as soon as I realized who I was next to. I wasn't all that surprised. I remember getting drunk while Nate pretty much watched after we made up. And now here we are, in our boxers, all curled up together. I jumped up and pulled all of my clothes on.

"You leaving?" Nate asked sleepily, sitting up.

"Yeah, I am," I said, glaring at him. I distinctly remember him not trying to stop me last night. "I can't believe you."

"What?" he asked as if he had no idea.

"You didn't even stop me!" I yelled.

"And you kissed me. You didn't stop yourself Thomas!" he yelled right back. "You knew how I felt about you and you still did it. You're the one at fault here."

"I'm at fault? I'M at fault? I was drunk Nate. What the fuck is wrong with you? You don't take advantage of a friend who's drunk and heartbroken over your sister. Do you get that? Do you even understand that what you did was wrong?"

Nate was crying. He knew he shouldn't have done it, and I knew I shouldn't have kissed him. I don't even know why I kissed a guy in the first place. Did Theresa really mess me up that much?

"I just wanted you to love me," he whispered.

"That's bullshit Nate! You know I'll never love you. I don't like guys. I can't help that, and it's never going to happen. You have to come to terms with that," I lectured him.

"You filled me with false hope last night. I was just trying to…"

"Forget it Nate! You'll never get it. Maybe Craig beat the sense out of you!"

I should have never said it. The look he gave me was horrible. He looked like he was on the verge of killing himself, and with his past history, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried. He flew into the bathroom, slamming the door and turning the lock.

**Marco**

I woke up and Jesse was already gone with Gracie. The story of my life. Instead of trying to go look for him, I decided to just lie there, and think about why I was so unhappy.

I have a boyfriend, and a kind of half-daughter. I had a little family; something that I lost when my mother died. But that was the extent of my 'happiness.'

The one guy I truly loved after Dylan broke up with me. I saw him every day but couldn't do anything. My father hasn't spoken to me in nearly a year. One of my best friends, also a former boyfriend, won't stay around me long enough to just talk for a minute.

I miss those moments where Jesse and I were truly happy. The times we spent together even though we both had boyfriends. It's not like that anymore.

And I really miss the fun that Remy, Rory, Andrew, and I had on the train that first day, on our way to school. We never thought that any of this would happen to us. We never thought that we'd fail at all of our relationships, break each other's hearts, watch a friend and a teacher die…no one expects that kind of a senior year.

But I should realize how lucky I am. Jesse, Rory, Andrew, Remy, and most of my other friends are still alive. I can see them whenever I want, and talk to them if I want to. I don't have to sit at any of their gravesides and cry into the dirt about how I lost my time with them. I need to take hold of the present and be with the people I love before it's too late.

Including my father.

**Rory **

I burst into Marco and Jesse's room without knocking. I couldn't help it; this was an urgent situation. I saw Marco all curled up on his bed, with his back against the wall. The way he looked up at me just broke my heart. He looked like a mess. I wanted to run to him, hold him in my arms, and tell him that everything would be alright. That we would end up together and have our own 'happily ever after.' But it wasn't going to happen. I took my thoughts off of Marco and let them return to my current problem.

"What's wrong?" he finally asked after I stared at him for a minute or so.

"I'm really worried about Andrew. He wasn't back at all last night. I don't know where he went, and I think he might be in trouble," I said as fast as I could.

Marco jumped up and grabbed his jacket before pulling on his sneakers. He grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. For a moment, the world stood still. We looked into each other's eyes and everything was quiet. But I broke the gaze and looked away.

"Come on, I'll help you find him," was all he said. I smiled without letting go of his hand, and let him lead me away. It was how I wanted things to end. With Marco taking me away from everything.

**A/N: How was this chapter? Let me know if you recognized Alex's last name. So it seems that Theresa might change…at least she was good enough to not let Lindsey find out. This chapter took place partly on Saturday, January 7th, and then later on Sunday, January 8th. **


	7. Can We Pick Up The Pieces?

**Chapter Seven: Can We Pick Up The Pieces? **

**Nate**

After I was sure Thomas was gone, I went back into the room. Maybe he's right. Maybe Craig did beat the sense out of me. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and got my dealer on the phone. I was due for some more pills anyway.

While I walked down to the bus stop, I couldn't help but think of what a loser I was. First, I found out I was gay, and on that same day, realized that I was in love with my best friend. He fell in love with my sister and never even thought of me. Then, just when I thought that I'd never love anyone else, I saw Craig. Turns out, I gave him a bad suggestion about stopping his meds, and then he started to hit me. So, after Craig dumped me…oh yes…_he _dumped _me_, I go and get my best friend drunk and make out with him, among other things. So now Craig is gone, Thomas is gone, and all I have left are my pills.

I met Tyler on a corner a few blocks away from the school.

"Rough night?" he asked while he handed me two bottles.

"You could say that," I said, nodding my head and pocketing the bottles. I handed over the money and he slipped it into his pocket without counting it. We had an understanding.

"My services are always available," he told me.

"I know, but I got someone waiting for me. Maybe some other time."

"You always say that," he said before leaning in and kissing my neck.

"I can't help it if I'm busy." I looked into his eyes and shrugged. I quickly kissed his cheek and smiled. "Thanks."

"What are you going to do without me when you graduate?" Tyler was a twenty-two year old graduate from my school. After he left, he got into some trouble, and here he is now, dealing drugs to me. I hadn't even thought about that. I usually bought a huge stock of pills each summer, but after this summer, I wouldn't be anywhere near this school again.

"I guess I'll find someone else," I finally answered. "You've been great to me."

"Or I could just come with you," he suggested.

As I walked away, I actually considered it.

When I got back to the school, I headed over to see Kelly. He was the one waiting.

**Marco**

"Sorry if I just burst in like that," Rory said as we walked away from the school.

"That's okay. I wasn't doing anything important anyway," I told him. "It's not like my boyfriend was there."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked quietly. Even though he was my ex-boyfriend, I felt like I could tell him anything. And I actually did want to talk about it.

"We had a fight. I left for awhile, and then when I came back, I wouldn't sleep in the same bed as him. This morning when I woke up, he was gone with Gracie, as usual."

"What was the fight about?" If anyone else asked me that question, I would have gotten angry and told them to mind their own business. But it was Rory. And I didn't mind.

"I know it's not her fault or Jesse's fault either, but every time we start to do _anything_, Gracie wakes up and interrupts us. I don't feel like I ever have a moment of peace," I confessed. "I just want things to be the same between Jesse and me, but they never will be now."

"Oh…" he said, trailing off. "I'm sorry Marco. I know how hard it is to have to take care of kids all the time and never have any moments to yourself," he said.

"I do get _some_ moments to myself…" I looked into his eyes and smiled. "When I'm with you."

"Marco, I…" he didn't say anything else, but instead looked away. "Let's check the cemetery," he finally said.

"What?"

"For Andrew. I think he might be there. At Alex's grave…"

As we walked the entire way in silence, I mentally smacked myself for ever letting Rory go.

**Jesse**

I just want things to go back to the way they used to be. Marco and I used to be happy together. There was a time when he was the only person I could think about, even when Rex was alive. But suddenly, my boyfriend got himself killed, his girlfriend killed herself, and now I'm a parent.

I love Gracie, I really do, but if she wasn't in my life right now, things would be so much easier. As horrible as it sounds, I actually considered giving her up for adoption. But I remembered my promise to Rex on his death bed and I couldn't do it. What am I going to do when I graduate from school? I have nowhere to go. I have no parents, I have no home, and I have no job. When the money from Alyssa runs out, I'll have to turn to my college fund.

I held my daughter in my arms and cried, my tears dropping onto her head and wetting her soft hair. She slept peacefully, unaware of my thoughts. I felt like a terrible person, even thinking about giving her up. I didn't choose to be her father, but I made a promise. And I can't let her down.

"Come on baby, let's go find Marco," I whispered to Gracie. I put her in the stroller and stood up, ready to fix things with my boyfriend. No matter how hard it was, or how long it took, nothing would stop me.

**Thomas**

I walked around for awhile before I decided to go to Theresa's school. We needed to have a major discussion. I had no idea if I wanted to be with her after everything I found out. She killed my baby two years ago, and then got pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's baby while we were together. And then she killed his baby too.

It seemed like no matter what she did, I found myself right back at her door. I knocked and she opened it right away. Ellie quietly excused herself as I sat on Theresa's bed, and I watched her go. I couldn't help but wish my girlfriend was more like her.

"We need to talk," I said as soon as she was gone.

"I know," Theresa agreed, sitting beside me. "I'm sorry Thomas. I'm sorry that I never told you and I'm sorry that I slept with Remy, and I'm sorry that I can't be the person you fell in love with so many years ago," she blurted out.

"Theresa, I understand that people make mistakes. But how many mistakes can you make and still have everything go back to the way it was? How many times are you gonna have to apologize before I don't believe you anymore?" I asked, putting my head in my hands.

"Does that mean you believe me now? Do you believe that I'm sorry?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I do," I said, looking up at her. I pulled her to me and kissed her lightly on the lips. "But things have to change Theresa. I've always been faithful to you, but you…" she interrupted me before I could finish.

"I'll never do it again. You can trust me on that. I want to change Thomas, and I want us to be together again. I want things to be like they were when we were younger. I want us to be closer than we've ever been. I want us to talk about everything," she finished. I kissed her again and smiled.

"Okay," I said, holding onto her hand.

"Okay? You want to get back together?" Her eyes were wide, like a little kid on Christmas.

"Of course I do." I kissed her harder this time, slipping my tongue into her mouth and leaning against her until she was lying down. I slid my hands up her shirt and started to take her bra off. But she sat up and pulled my hands away.

"But…I don't think we should have sex," she said, completely surprising me. "At least not for awhile."

What have I gotten myself into? I groaned on the inside and then forced a smile.

"Okay," I agreed.

"Am I interrupting anything?" We both looked up to see Ellie standing in the doorway with her eyes closed.

"Nope," I said, laughing. She opened her eyes and I couldn't help but stare. She just looked so beautiful. But I have my girl back, so I looked away from her and back to Theresa.

"Hey babe, Ellie and I are gonna get to know each other better tonight. I'll call you tomorrow okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," I told her, kissing her quickly before leaving.

This is going to be hard. But I'll do anything to keep things good between us.

**Marco**

Rory was right. When we got to the cemetery, and down to Alex's grave, Andrew was curled up next to it with his cheek pressed against the stone. He had two empty liquor bottles by his side, and was passed out. He looked horrible. His eyeliner was smudged all over his cheeks, and his hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat.

"Poor Andrew," Rory said, surveying the scene as well. I could tell by the way he looked at him that he wasn't in love with him anymore. He was looking at him like any brother would.

"How did he get like this?" I asked, sighing and crouching down next to him.

"He's never been the same since Alex died. Don't feel bad Marco because you couldn't fix him either. He hasn't found anyone who can. He blames himself," Rory assured me.

"Maybe he should go to therapy," I suggested.

"That's the last thing he needs. His parents have always sent him to therapy, ever since he was six. Doctors can't help him either. He just has to find the right guy."

For the first time since we'd arrived, I actually looked at the gravestone. I did a double take when I noticed the name on it.

"Did you know that was Alex's last name?" I asked Rory. He looked over at me and nodded his head.

"Yeah, why?"

"Donovan. That's Jesse's last name," I pointed out.

"Oh yeah, I guess it is," he said, shrugging it off.

"Don't you find that odd?" I asked him.

"Not really. It's probably just a coincidence," he said.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said.

"Let's just get him up," Rory told me, bending down and nudging him. After a lot of effort, we managed to wake Andrew up. He started crying when he saw us.

"I love you guys," he said, kissing us both on our cheeks. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you two."

"Let's get you home Andrew," I said, helping him up. Rory picked up the bottles and fixed the flowers at the base of the gravestone.

"You know," Andrew said, "You two are perfect for each other. You always have been. I'm so glad to see you together right now. When Rory broke up with you just for me, I was ashamed. I knew you'd somehow fix things," he said to me.

I looked over at Rory but he quickly looked away.

"You're drunk Andrew," Rory said, walking off ahead of us. I didn't know what to say, so I just helped him walk as best as I could. We fell down just outside the cemetery, and I gave up.

"Can you call a cab?" I asked Rory. He helped me up and I let my hand linger on his for a moment too long. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and walked away a little to use it.

The cab came five minutes later and we rode back in silence. Once in our hallway, we went our separate ways. I watched Rory and Andrew until they were inside their room, the door closed tightly behind them. Then I went into mine and found Jesse sitting on the bed, waiting for me.

**Ellie**

"You're not so bad after all," I said to Theresa.

"And you're one of the few people that actually comes to that conclusion after talking to me," she replied.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She suddenly had a faraway look in her eyes.

"I'm fine. I just don't know how this will ever work out with Thomas," she confessed.

"Why not? He's so obviously in love with you. I recently talked to him while he was drunk, and he couldn't stop talking about you. As corny as it sounds, he said that you were his angel."

"Thanks for making me feel better. But I have to tell you something. As long as you promise not to say anything," she said.

"I promise."

"Well, last night, I didn't think Thomas and I would get back together. He freaked out and I just got so upset that I went out and got drunk. And I slept with this guy…" she trailed off, making a face.

"That's not so bad. I guess because you thought everything was over. And technically, you were broken up," I pointed out.

"It's not so bad until you find out that the guy I slept with was Lindsey."

"His best friend?" I yelled. She nodded her head and looked like she was going to cry. "What does Lindsey think about this?"

"I'm hoping he doesn't remember. I purposely left before he woke up," she said. "To tell you the truth though, I was going to leave. I felt like it was the only way that Thomas could be happy. But then he came to talk to me today and we got back together. What should I do about Lindsey though?" she asked. I never thought she'd be asking me for advice.

"Sorry, I can't help you there. But if it makes you feel any better, I slept with my boyfriend's best friend," I said.

"Really? At least I'm not the only one."

"Well, yeah, but it was after he went back to live with his parents. I hadn't heard from him in weeks when I did it. And then he never came back…"

"Great," Theresa replied sarcastically.

**Rory**

"Are you okay Andrew?" I asked my brother as he lay down in his bed.

"I'm fine," he groaned, squinting his eyes against the bright lights.

"You hardly ever get drunk," I pointed out. "What happened?"

"I was just thinking about stupid stuff. How much I screwed everything up. And I really meant what I said about you and Marco." He sat up and looked over at me.

"He has a boyfriend," I said. "Besides, we don't like each other like that anymore."

"That's bullshit and you know it. There's always been something between you two. I could see it before you ever did. You're still in love with him and he's still in love with you. Just admit it and we can both get some sleep."

"I may be still in love with him, but he has a boyfriend. He and Jesse deserve to be together." I sat down at the end of the bed and sighed.

"You deserve him more than Jesse does. Rory, you made a sacrifice for me. It was probably the dumbest thing you did, but you still did it. Marco understands why, he just needs some time to realize he still loves you. I'm going to talk to him for you," he told me, lying back down again.

"Oh know you're not!" I protested. "You need to talk to him about your friendship," I told him.

"You're right. I'll do that tomorrow after class. And while I'm there, we can talk about you too."

Before I could get another word in, he turned the light off and closed his eyes. What am I going to do now?

**A/N: This chapter takes place on Sunday, January 8th. How was it? Please review! **

**emphatic loser: Thanks for the review...I'm glad you liked it. More suprises ahead! **

**shadow: Thank you for reviewing. It's nice to see a new name in my reviews. Hope you liked this chapter too! **


	8. Get These Teen Hearts Beating Faster

**Chapter Eight: Let's Get These Teen Hearts Beating Faster Faster**

**Jesse**

After classes finally ended the next day, I cornered Marco. He'd still been avoiding me, but I managed to get him alone in our room. He'd been just about to leave, but I blocked the door.

"I'm supposed to go talk to Andrew," he said, trying to get around me.

"This'll only take a few minutes. Andrew can wait," I told him. He gave in and backed a few feet away. "Marco, I want us to be happy again," I blurted out.

"So do I," he agreed, backing up more and sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Then why can't we be?"

"Because we never have time alone anymore. And we never will!" he shouted. Gracie, who had been giggling and playing on the floor suddenly stopped and looked up at him. "That's why," he pointed at her.

"I can't help it! I told you about the promise I made to Rex. And you know what? Just because I wanted us to work out, I actually considered giving her up!" I yelled right back. Marco was shocked; I could tell by the look on his face. He stood up and walked over to me. I never even knew it was coming, but my cheek stung as he slapped me.

"Don't you ever say that again," he said through gritted teeth. "That baby does not deserve to be abandoned by another person."

"But I thought that…" I trailed off, looking into his eyes.

"You thought wrong. Yeah, I've been getting fed up with her interrupting us every time we try to do something. And yes, I also think that both of us are too young to have kids. But that doesn't mean that I wanted you to give her away. You can't do that to her. Never even think it." I nodded my head and tried not to cry. How could I have even considered it? I'm a horrible person.

"I'm sorry," I choked out. "How will we get some time alone?"

"I think we should hire a babysitter. Or ask one of our friends to watch her once in awhile. We'll make it work," he said, grasping onto both of my hands. "I promise." He kissed me lightly on the lips, then again at each corner of my mouth.

"I believe you," I said, smiling. "Now go talk to Andrew."

I watched him leave the room, finally believing that things were going to get better.

**Remy**

I knocked on Kelly's classroom door. I wasn't sure what I would do. I knew what this was about; he was going to make me do whatever he wanted or I wouldn't be able to graduate.

"Just a minute!" he yelled. As soon as I heard his voice I wanted to kick his ass. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw who came out of the room.

"Nate, what were you doing in there?" I asked.

"Mr. James is tutoring me. You know how much I suck at Chemistry," he said.

"But Mr. James doesn't tutor anyone. Ever."

"You of all people should know that's not true Remy. He's tutoring you after all," he said before walking away. I wasn't sure what to make of his statement, but I shook it off.

"Come on in Remy," Kelly said from the doorway. I reluctantly followed him into the room where he closed the door and locked it. He pushed me up against the wall and forced his lips onto mine. I didn't fight back because I knew it'd be no use. I had to do everything he wanted if I wanted to leave this place at the end of the year. "I knew you'd come back to me," he said, grinning as he pulled away.

"I'm sure you did," I said, walking away from him. I sat down at his desk and looked up at him. "Let's just get this over with."

"Not so fast. You'll be mine for the next two hours. And since you're doing so horrible in class, we'll have to meet every day," he added, smirking.

"You're disgusting!" I yelled, walking to the door. He followed me and grabbed my wrist, forcing me to face him.

"But that's what you love about me, right?"

Before I could answer, he was shoving his tongue down my throat.

**Lindsey**

I dialed Sarah's cell phone number for the fifth time in ten minutes. I'd been standing at the same pay phone for over an hour, deciding whether or not I should really do it. She never answered though, so it didn't make much of a difference. I finally hung up for the last time, sick and tired of listening to the voicemail message.

How am I even like this? I'm crying over some stupid fourteen year old. Who falls in love like that? She's way too young for me and that will never change. So why can't I get her off of my mind? There has to be a way…

I trudged down the street as the rain started to fall. It soaked my hair, causing it to stick to the sides of my head. As I walked along the sidewalk, I thought about the trial. I wondered if things would go my way, or if they'd all see past my lies. I hoped for the former, but no one really knew at this point.

If either of the girls told the truth, I'd be screwed. I know Thomas would never give me up, but I'm not so sure about those two girls. They're twin sisters. What if Sarah feels bad for making Kate lie about Thomas being the father of her baby and decides to tell the truth? Or what if Kate just breaks down on the stand? We all know that she will be accused of being a slut if she says she doesn't know who the father is.

I can't believe I'm causing this much pain to everyone around me. All for a stupid girl.

**Theresa**

"Let's go to the mall," I suggested, grabbing on to Thomas' hand and pulling him towards the door.

"Just because you won't have sex with me doesn't mean that I'm gonna hold your purse while you try on clothes," he said, laughing.

"It's not that I _won't _have sex with you. We just _can't_. You're not mad are you?"

"No!" he said, surprised. "I'm just not up for the mall. Why don't we go to the movies instead?"

"Sure."

We made our way to the movies but stopped when we walked by Lindsey leaning against the outside of my school building. It had just stopped raining and he was soaking wet.

"Lindsey, what are you doing here?" I asked, surprised. Did he remember who he slept with the other night?

"I don't know. I was looking for Thomas."

"Oh," I sighed. Thank the lord.

"What's up?" Thomas asked him. "Are you okay?"

"Not really. I can't stop thinking about her," he groaned, looking up at his best friend.

"Why don't you come to the movies with us? And get your mind off of things," I suggested.

"Thanks, I guess I will."

Thomas helped him up and we continued to the movies. Thomas and Lindsey talked the whole way, pretty much ignoring me. I didn't want to end their fun though. It seemed like Lindsey was feeling better and I didn't want to be the one to ruin that.

When we got there, Thomas sat on the end, and I sat next to him before I could be left out. The only problem was that the seat left was on my other side, and then I had to sit between them.

The even bigger problem was that I wasn't really sure which one I'd rather be alone with.

**Andrew**

When Marco showed up my room, Rory glared at me before he left. He knew what I was going to talk to Marco about and apparently that was his way of warning me not to. Like I was really afraid of him. I snorted, which caused Marco to make a face and turn away from me.

"I'm sorry," I said, closing the door and walking in front of Marco so we were facing each other.

"About what?" he asked, looking down at the floor.

"About us." That caused his head to snap up and look at me. "About letting it end like that. About losing our friendship," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. I didn't expect what came next. A huge smile grew across his face and he leaned forward and hugged me.

"I'm sorry too. That I never tried to keep our friendship going. We're both at fault. I've really missed you," he told me.

"I've missed you too," I said, smiling.

We sat down and talked for awhile after that, filling each other in on what's been happening in our lives lately. After about an hour, I decided to bring up what I'd wanted to say for a few days.

"Marco, I know that Jesse's a great guy and that he's lucky he has you in his life…"

"I sense a 'but' coming on," Marco said, grinning.

"But I think you're meant for someone else."

"Who, you?" he asked, smiling. I must have made a horrible face, because he stopped smiling and got serious. "I was kidding Andrew," he said. "Who?"

"You're meant to be with…"

"Marco!" someone yelled from the door.

"Hey Rory," Marco said, smiling once again.

"Can I talk to you?"

Marco turned to back to me.

"Only if Andrew doesn't mind."

"No that's fine," I said. I was a little mad that Rory had interrupted, but it also may have helped me out. It eliminated any type of awkward moment between us.

"I guess we can finish this talk later then…?"

"We don't need to," I told him. "Go have fun with Rory."

By the look on his face, he knew exactly what I meant.

**Marco **

"So…" I trailed off, following Rory. He was leading me back to the park.

"So…" he repeated.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked him. We made it to our destination and I watched as Rory lay down onto the ground. I joined him but made sure to keep my distance. I knew what Andrew meant. He thought I was meant to be with Rory.

"I just wanted to get you away from Andrew," he confessed.

"Why?"

"He sure can be a handful sometimes. Like a little kid," Rory said, laughing. I agreed and joined in.

"But…did you want us to stop talking…because he was going to tell me something?" I asked. I wasn't sure if he'd tell me the truth, and I was surprised when he did.

"Well…yeah," he said, turning his head away from mine.

"What did you want him to stop from saying?"

"Marco…" he trailed off. He sounded upset. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Fine. I don't mind. If you ever want to talk though, I'm here." I slipped my hand into his, and we lay together in silence.

As we faced each other, I looked into his eyes and smiled, squeezing his hand.

"I should tell you," he whispered. He looked like he was trying not to cry.

"Tell me what?" I whispered back.

"Marco, I'm still in love with you," he said, staring into my eyes. We both moved toward each other at that moment and he kissed me.

It only lasted a split second, until I pulled away.

"Rory, I can't…cheat on Jesse," I said quietly. The look on his face was heartbreaking.

"I understand. But I have to go." He stood up and walked away quickly, leaving me behind to watch the sunset. If I hadn't ruined that moment, we'd be watching it together. But I just got things back on track with Jesse, and I can't do that to him. He should be the one watching the sunset with me.

So why did I want it to be Rory?

**Nate**

I kissed his lips softly before moving on to his neck, and then whispering in his ear.

"I never thought it'd be like this to be with you."

"Is it safe to say that you didn't know what you were missing?" he asked.

"It is." I smiled at him, finally happy for once. It was the first time in awhile that I was with a guy without the drugs.

"Thinking about sticking around?" he asked, dragging me out of my thoughts.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, are you going to visit me again?"

"If you'd like the company."

"I'd love it."

**A/N: Yeah, I know…Lindsey's POV was lame…but I couldn't come up with anything for him right now, and since he wasn't in last chapter, I wanted to put something. It is important how upset he is. Next chapter will be the trial though…you'll have to wait and see. I also know that Theresa's POV was boring but I just wanted to have something in there where they're not only having sex. The Nate POV is just a little teaser. This chapter takes place on Monday, January 9th. The title comes from a Panic! At The Disco song and they own it. **


	9. As Time Stops, So Does My Heart

**Chapter Nine: As Time Stops, So Does My Heart**

**Marco**

"Andrew's babysitting, and we are spending the day alone together," I told Jesse, smiling.

"But what about Lindsey's trial? That's this afternoon," Jesse said, looking worried.

"He said he doesn't want it to be a big deal. He only wants Thomas there," I assured him.

"Well good, because I'd rather spend my day with you," he said, wrapping his arms around me from behind and kissing my neck. I started to feel like I used to when I was with him. As he ran a hand down my arm and laced his fingers with mine, I drifted off into my memories.

"**_Waaaaaaaaake up!" I yelled, shaking Jesse._**

"_**Marco, I don't wanna go to school today," he whined without even opening his eyes.**_

"_**What can I do to convince you?" I asked, poking his cheek.**_

"_**Nothing," he groaned, rolling over.**_

"_**Not even this?" I asked. I climbed up on him (something I do every morning) and kissed him on the cheek. When he didn't respond, I kissed the corner of his mouth. Then, right on the lips. I didn't let go until he backed his head up for air. He opened his eyes and smiled, but then closed them again.**_

_**I cuddled up behind him, reaching my hand around and under his shirt. I felt him tense up, but he didn't push me away. I slowly pushed my hand underneath his boxers, and kept moving it down…**_

"_**Okay! I'm awake!" he yelled, sitting up, and in the process, dislodging my hand. I smirked and pulled him to me for a quick kiss. We sat there for a minute, my head resting on his shoulder.**_

As soon as I stopped daydreaming, I realized that Andrew was in the room. Jesse was still in the same position, and Andrew was holding Gracie. I leaned backward into Jesse and squeezed his hand. He returned the squeeze and rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Are you really taking her all day long?" I asked, grinning at Andrew.

"Of course. Gracie and I have a date with Ellie," he answered, grabbing the bag that held all of her necessities.

"What are you doing with Ellie?" I asked, interested. He shrugged, throwing us both an evil smile before walking out of the room.

"So…where should we go first?" Jesse asked, bringing my attention back to him.

"I was thinking that maybe we could stay in…" I trailed off, looking into his eyes for an answer. The smile on his face grew and I knew right away that he liked the idea.

**Rory **

I sat outside our building for a change of scenery and thought about Rex. It seemed like only yesterday, everyone was surprised by his little scandal. And it's hard to imagine that he's been dead for almost a month now. I sighed and started to recall my last day with him. . .

"_**I love you so much," I said, kissing Rex good morning. I stretched and smiled at him, grasping his hand.**_

"**_I love you too," he replied, reaching up with his free hand to touch my cheek. I placed my other hand on top of his and pulled him up to me. We hugged for much longer than usual, though neither of us knew why. It just felt right. _**

"**_Time to work," I said after we pulled away. I frowned but he kissed my forehead and stood up._**

"_**It'll be okay. We'll be okay. This isn't forever you know," he said, holding a hand out to help me up. **_

"_**But I thought you were never leaving. . ." I trailed off, grabbing his hand.**_

"_**We'll leave one day. When the time is right."**_

"**_Why not today?"_**

"_**One day Rory. Don't worry." He kissed me one last time before he left. I didn't have a job lined up until late in the afternoon, so I decided to take a walk through the city. It was the only thing to do to pass the time. I'd probably stop in the park to beg for money before scrounging up enough to get a burger. **_

**_I hadn't been able to take a shower for a few days, so people tended to stay as far away from me as they could get. I had dirt smudged on my face from a particular bad job the night before, and my shirt was ripped in a few places. I tried my best to force a smile as I walked along the sidewalk. It was actually one of the few good days I had since I ran away._**

**_While I was walking, day dreaming about Rex, as usual, an SUV suddenly screeched to a halt beside me. It had happened before, and was usually some horny guy who wanted to pick me up. I wasn't in the mood, so I started to run, and I could hear the pounding footsteps of whoever was chasing me. _**

"**_Rory!" I heard someone yelling from behind me. The voice sounded familiar, so I stopped suddenly, whipping around. I hoped the person wasn't an old customer. "Rory! It's you!" I was standing face to face with my brother. My twin brother who I'd been separated from for years._**

"_**Remy?" I asked between breaths. We shared a hug, and I fought tears. **_

"**_I never knew you could run so fast," he said, causing me to smile. _**

"_**I've missed you," I told him, hugging him one more time to make sure it was real. **_

"**_I was adopted by that family that picked me up the first day. I couldn't find you. I tried . . . we all tried."_**

"_**Who's we?" **_

"**_Me, Andrew, and his parents," he answered happily. His new family. _**

"_**So, Andrew is . . ."**_

"**_Our new brother," he stated, grinning from ear to ear. _**

"_**Our?" I was confused. He had a new life, and so did I. We were so different by then.**_

"**_I told you all about them. They've known about you from the beginning. And now that we've finally found you, you can come home," he said excitedly._**

_**I was so wrapped up in the moment that I completely forgot about my friends. **_

"_**I have to go get my stuff and I'll meet you back here in fifteen minutes. Just don't leave me again, okay?" I asked him.**_

"_**Of course not. I'll be in the car." He motioned over to the expensive SUV that was parked next to us. I could tell that these people had a lot of money, and that made me even happier.**_

_**I ran all the way to my makeshift home to find everyone gone. I quickly started grabbing everything I had accumulated over the years, as well as my things I brought with me when I ran away. Just as I was finishing up, Rex returned from his job.**_

"**_Where are you going?" he asked. The look on his face made me want to cry. My stomach flopped as I walked over to him and kissed his neck._**

"_**I found my brother. Well, he found me," I said, wrapping an arm around his waist. "He was adopted by these rich people, and they want me to come live with them. Isn't this great?" I asked. He obviously didn't think it was so great, because he bit his bottom lip; something he did when he was trying not to cry.**_

"_**So…you're leaving me?" he asked, pulling himself out of my grip.**_

"_**Come with me!" I said, kissing him on the lips this time. He pulled away and turned his back to me.**_

"_**I can't."**_

"_**Why not?" I asked, walking around him so I could see his face.**_

"_**I'm not leaving them," he replied, motioning towards the guys' beds. **_

"_**So they're more important than I am?" I asked, tears in my eyes.**_

"_**Of course not. But they need me more than you do. You're gonna be okay now. You have your family back."**_

"_**You are my family. Don't you get that? I can't live without you," I said, letting the tears spill over. He wiped my eyes and kissed me on my forehead before pulling me to his chest. **_

"_**You'll be fine," he told me as he ran his hands through my hair.**_

"_**But Rex, I…" I trailed off, not finishing my sentence.**_

"_**You what?" he asked, lifting my chin and looking into my eyes. **_

_**I couldn't say it. I didn't want to feel any worse than I already did.**_

"_**I have to go," I choked out. I kissed him one last time and left without looking back. **_

_**Three weeks after I left Rex, I went back to him, just to visit. But he was gone. The guys told me that he went back to his parents, and just hearing that made me happy. Rex was my first love and I never forgot him.**_

I've never felt the same way about anyone as I did about Rex, not even Andrew. Andrew was a full blown crush that was the result of my loneliness. I never felt the same way about anyone . . . until I met Marco.

**Thomas **

"Can I talk to you?" I asked Nate, approaching him as he left his room."

"Sorry, I have somewhere to be," he replied, trying to push his way past me. I grabbed his arm and held him there, trying to get him to stay.

"Look Nate, I'm sorry okay? I shouldn't have reacted that way. What happened partly was my fault because I shouldn't have gotten drunk in the first place," I told him. He stopped trying to get away and I saw a small smile appear.

"I'm sorry too. I obviously shouldn't have taken advantage of you, but I wasn't in a good place at the time either. We've known each other forever and I don't want our friendship to be ruined over stupid crap like that."

We shared a short hug and then stood there, unsure of what should happen next.

"Well, I guess I should probably get going then. Maybe we can hang out after the trial or something," Nate suggested.

"Where are you off to?" I asked, a little curious.

"Nowhere special," he answered.

"Yeah, right. You were rushing to leave just a minute ago. It has to be at least a little important," I said, trying to get him to tell me.

"It doesn't matter," he sighed.

"Maybe I could accompany you then. I don't have to leave for another hour and a half to go to court."

"I have to go alone. Sorry."

"Why don't you just tell me?" I asked, raising my voice a little.

"FINE!" he yelled. "I'm going to see Tyler!"

"You can't go see him!" I yelled right back. I wasn't stupid. I knew Tyler was his dealer.

"And you can't tell me what to do Thomas," he said calmly.

"I'm only looking out for you. You're my best friend Nate, and I'm worried about you. You're addicted to that shit and it's obviously not helping you at all. How can you not care about what happens?" I asked.

"Just leave me alone. I'm going now," he said, shoving past me. I grabbed him once again and spun him around to face me.

"You're not going."

"You're not my father!" he yelled, trying to wrench himself out of my grip.

"He'd be really proud of you, wouldn't he?" I yelled back, completely sarcastic of course. It was another thing that I wished I'd never said. I let go of his arm as his face became full of hurt. I watched him run from the building before trudging back to my own room.

Nate's father was killed in a car accident last year. He never really got over it, and he doesn't like to talk about it either.

I just screwed up for the millionth time. It's a wonder I even have any friends at all.

**Ellie **

"She's so adorable," I told Andrew, taking the baby from him.

"I know," he replied. "We're all in love with her. Especially me." He sighed, letting his arms drop to his sides.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Well…" he trailed off, leaning back against the bench we were sitting on. "Not really."

"What's on your mind?"

"I'm not so sure I should tell you, seeing as you're Marco's best friend and all," he said, turning to look at me.

"I won't say anything to him if that's what you're worried about," I promised, giving him a small smile.

"I trust you. So I'll just tell you. The thing is…I'm kind of…falling in love with Gracie's dad," he confessed, looking away from me.

"Which one?" I asked, carefully suppressing a laugh. I must have let a smile slip through because Andrew frowned.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny. It's Jesse," he said.

"Well…what about Marco?" I asked, frowning a little.

"He's still in love with Rory. Everyone can tell. And Rory loves him too," he added.

"Then why aren't they together?"

"Because he and Jesse never got a chance together. Jesse had this huge thing for him ever since he met Marco. Back then, he had a boyfriend, but he and Marco fooled around behind his back. It didn't matter to Rex though, because Rex was cheating on him with…"

"That teacher," I finished, interrupting him.

"Yeah."

"So, that leaves you in love with Jesse?" I asked, confused. Marco told me that Andrew and Jesse used to hate each other.

"We've been hanging out lately, and I've fallen for him."

"Why don't I help you get Jesse? And get Marcoand Roryback together?" I asked him. His face brightened up instantly.

"You would do that for me?"

"Of course."

**Remy**

I thought I'd get a day off from being forced on Kelly, since it was the weekend. But did I? Of course not. He called me down to his office for a "much needed tutoring session." I had to go, seeing as I wanted to graduate and get away from this place.

After he made me do everything he wanted, I felt so dirty. In fact, I felt sick to my stomach. It was my fault that I had gotten into this mess. If I hadn't been so set on screwing around with the hottest guy I could find, I wouldn't be in this situation right now.

I ran as fast as I could back to my room and straight into the bathroom. Leaning over the toilet, I began to vomit, letting my stomach empty out until I felt better. I wiped my mouth off and looked into the mirror. The face I saw made me even sicker. I didn't feel like I needed to throw up anymore, so I did the next best thing.

I shoved my finger down my throat, making it all come up, and I didn't stop until I was satisfied.

**Lindsey**

As soon as I stepped into the courtroom, I felt like my entire body was on fire. I couldn't believe that this was where I had gotten myself. My father sat beside me, a completely neutral look on his face. He had his poker face on, and no one would be able to challenge him. Everything was in place, and everyone was set to break the law and lie just for me.

I should have felt great knowing that so many people cared enough to do this for me. But instead, I felt like shit.

I took one look at Sarah, who was completely avoiding my gaze, as if she never even knew me. Then I looked over at Kate. She sat, holding her sister's hand, trying to be strong for both of them. She didn't have a bump yet, but pretty soon, everyone would know. I could tell by the look on her face that she was miserable.

The trial was about to start, but I snuck a quick look at Thomas. Even he looked upset. He was trying his hardest not to look over at Kate, but he did anyway. She looked at him at the same time and they met eye contact, but only for a brief moment. They both looked away quickly, afraid of being seen. I let my gaze move back to Kate and saw that she had tears in her eyes.

There was no way I could keep hurting all of them. In the entire courtroom, my father was the only one who didn't look troubled. But he would soon. I knew there was only one thing I could do.

He was in the middle of his opening statement when I stood up and yelled for him to stop. All eyes were on me as I gave my confession:

"I did it."

**A/N: I feel so bad that I didn't have this chapter finished until today. I usually have a bunch of chapters all written. I really have to write more for both of my stories so I don't fall behind like this again! This chapter takes place Saturday, January 14th. I skipped a few days because I wanted it to be Lindsey's trial. Anyone surprised? Let me know what you think. **

**emphatic loser: I've been meaning to reply to your reviews on here and I just kept forgetting. They've been sitting in my inbox for awhile. I'm glad you like my taste in music. XD And I do feel very special that you risked detention to read my story! I love Panic! too…aren't they just great? You'll have to wait a long time to see who Marco ends up with…probably the end of the story:gasp: that's so far away, sorry. **

**Azury: Hey, I was chatting with Carrie (aka BlewYourMicrophone) and she said to tell you that she loves you and misses you dearly. **


	10. A Sinking Feeling That Never Goes Away

**Chapter Ten: A Sinking Feeling That Never Goes Away**

**Jesse**

After some of the most amazing sex of my life, Marco and I decided to go see a movie. Of course, when we got there, we sat in the back and made out the entire time. Which led to us rushing back home for more sex. When we finally got tired, we were both drenched in sweat.

"Let's go take a shower," Marco suggested, grinning. "We still have two hours until they bring Gracie back."

Without a word, I grabbed Marco's hand and dragged him into the bathroom. We were already naked so we didn't need to bother with clothes. I quickly turned the shower on and hopped in, with Marco close behind.

"I don't ever remember feeling this good," I said, kissing him on his shoulder. The water ran down us as we started making out again. It felt great to just be with him. But it was even better to be able to kiss him and know that he was mine. I didn't have to worry about hurting anyone when I was with him. It was just us.

"Me neither," he breathed out. He ran a hand down my back and over my butt, making me want him even more. As he kissed the corner of my mouth, I knew what I wanted to do next.

I knelt down, which happened to be a bit painful, but worth it. I heard him moaning as I took him into my mouth. The water that ran into my mouth the entire time made everything twice as pleasurable. Shortly after, Marco returned the favor, and then we decided to actually get clean.

We washed each other slowly and softly to make it more fun. When we were finally finished, Marco pulled me close to him and kissed me one more time, our bodies pressed firmly together. We got out of the shower and toweled off, only to return back to our bed naked. We didn't do anything but talk after that (with maybe the occasional grab), and even if we weren't going to have sex again, we were just more comfortable without clothes on.

With one finger, I traced the lines on Marco's palm as he began to talk about everything that was going through his head.

"I know you're doing it for me," he said, "But I want you to stop ignoring Andrew. You're allowed to have guy friends."

"I know, but I just want to be with you as much as I can," I told him.

"We have to take breaks sometimes. He misses you, I can tell. So just at least hang out with him once in awhile."

"Fine," I sighed. "I'll do it because you're asking me to." I kissed the corner of his mouth and made my way down his neck. When I got to his chest, he sat up quickly, knocking himself into my nose. "Agh!" I yelled. I could feel a slow trickle of blood coming out.

"I'm so sorry!" he yelled. He rushed off to the bathroom and returned with tissues.

"Thanks," I said, using them to collect the blood.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, sitting back down and holding his head in his hands.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it, it was an accident. But why did you do that anyway?" I asked.

"I just remembered something that I wanted to tell you."

"Okay, go ahead," I replied. The blood had already stopped, so I wiped my face one last time before throwing the tissues away.

"Last week, on Saturday, Rory came to me and told me that Andrew hadn't been home in awhile. So we went to Alex's grave and found him. And on the gravestone…was your last name," he said.

"What?" I asked. I wasn't sure what to make of it. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, in big, bold letters across the top, it said DONOVAN," he told me.

"Maybe it's just a coincidence," I replied.

"That's what Rory said. But I think you should ask Andrew about it."

"I guess I will," I said. "Now, where were we?"

Marco playfully shoved me back onto the bed and climbed on top of me. He kissed my forehead, then my chin, and after that, my stomach. We were getting a little cold, so he pulled the sheet up over our heads and traveled downwards.

I felt him start to kiss the inside of my left thigh, and then move on to the right. He was teasing me and I loved it. I had just grabbed a fistful of his hair and started to guide his head when I heard someone knock on the door.

"I think they're back," I groaned, starting to move. I felt Marco hold my legs down and start anyway. "Marco…ahhh," I said, and started moaning. Then there was another knock at the door.

"Make them wait," Marco said as he took a breath. He continued as I heard Andrew call out my name.

"Just a minute!" I yelled. "Ohhh…Mmmarco!" I squealed.

"We're waiting!" Ellie called out from the other side of the door. I poked my head out from the sheet, to get some cold air into my lungs and so they could hear me better.

"I'm…" I was interrupted when the door burst open just as Marco finished. I had been about to say 'coming' but it was too late. I forced an awkward smile as Ellie and Andrew looked on in horror. They obviously knew what had just occurred by the expression on my face when they had entered.

Their mouths hung open as Marco started moving under the sheet and poked his head out of the other end. I watched him wipe his mouth off and wave at them.

"Hey guys," he said, suppressing a laugh.

**Theresa**

I felt my breath catch in my chest. Thomas looked like he was going to cry, and so did Lindsey's little girlfriend across the room. Her father was grinning like crazy, trying not to laugh. Bastard.

Lindsey slowly turned around to face us. Thomas shook his head at him before looking away.

"I love you," he said to Sarah, right there in front of everyone. She stood up, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"I love you too," she replied. I could tell that he wanted to go to her, but he couldn't.

Oh please, like they really loved each other.

The court marshal was talking to the judge. Everything was silent for a few minutes as the judge called Lindsey and the lawyers up to her. A few things were discussed, and there was a lot of head nodding.

And then it was all over. Lindsey walked back to his table as the judge called for dismissal. His father looked pissed.

"Great plan Thomas," I said. He just looked at me and rolled his eyes before getting up and going over to Lindsey, hugging him in that manly way that straight guys do.

"Stupid move," I heard him whisper. "But I'd do the same thing." He turned to look at me, so I joined them.

"What were you talking with the judge about?" I asked.

"Just setting a date for the sentencing hearing," his father answered. He sighed and looked at Lindsey. "What a waste," he mumbled before walking away.

"Why don't we just get out of here?" I asked the guys. "We have to at least have a going away party," I added.

"That's a stupid idea Theresa," Thomas said. "Why would he want to party when he's going to prison?"

"Actually, it's a great idea," Lindsey answered. "Let's go."

**Andrew**

"Well then, I can see we obviously interrupted something. Sorry, but I thought you'd like to have your baby back now…" I trailed off, staring at the two of them. As much as I wanted to be with Jesse, it made me happy to know that Marco was finally happy. The way he smiled let me know that he wasn't budging any time soon.

"Thanks," Jesse said quietly, his cheeks blushing.

"So…can I join you?" I asked.

"What?" Jesse asked, blinking his eyes a few times before staring. Marco just grinned and bit his bottom lip.

"Joking…" I trailed off before laughing at the both of them. "I'll just leave her right here on the floor, and you can get up after I'm gone."

I did as I said I would, and slowly walked out the door. I risked a look back right before I shut it, and saw that Marco was already in Jesse's lap, smothering him with kisses. I saw him shove his tongue down his throat before I pulled the door closed with a click.

That click was the end of my façade. My smile drooped and my eyes grew dark as I ran as fast as I could back to my room. Thankfully, Rory wasn't there, so I was able to do my business.

I slammed the bathroom door, over and over again, trying to get the anger out of my system. Once that was gone, it was much easier for me. All that was left was the pain, and I knew exactly how to fix my pain.

Rory had thrown away all of the razor blades I had, but he shaved his face every now and then, so I knew there'd be a blade somewhere. I found the blue little piece of plastic with my escape tucked neatly inside of it.

I pulled apart the plastic, using my fingers and my teeth, which was actually a lot easier than it should have been. My arms were used up, full of scars and then the names on them; Alex on one arm and Marco on the other. Jesse's name wasn't there; yet. Today wasn't the day for his name though. Today was the day I would think of as the day I learned I would never love again. Jesse was it; there was no one else for me but him, and if I couldn't have him, then I'd never have anyone.

I pulled my shirt off and looked at my bare chest in the mirror. Not a single scar covered it. Not yet anyway.

**Thomas**

"Get everyone together," I told Marco. As soon as we'd gotten back from court, Lindsey, Theresa, and I started planning the party. We didn't want to wait; it was going to happen tonight.

"Why?" Marco asked. The baby was asleep, and Marco and Jesse were watching TV.

I stood in front of the TV and turned it off.

"Hello? Let's go!" I shouted at them.

"Why aren't you asking Nate or something?" Jesse asked, frowning at me. He was upset that his stupid show was interrupted.

"Because, we aren't talking right now. Listen, Lindsey's going to PRISON and we're throwing him a going away party. Do you even care?"

"What?" Marco asked, jumping up. I thought he didn't do anything!" Now I had their attention.

"Yeah, well…he confessed. Don't worry about that okay? Just tell everyone there's gonna be a party at the bar down the street. You know the one," I explained. "I've got a call to make," I added.

"Sure, we'll take care of it," Jesse said, nodding his head.

I quickly walked back to my room to find Lindsey's cell phone. I knew he left it in there somewhere. At the moment, he was back with Theresa at her dorm, trying to keep his mind off of things.

After I found his phone tossed in a pile of dirty laundry, I scrolled through his contact list. It was pretty short, and I was able to find the number that I wanted. I called from the dorm phone though, because I knew that if Lindsey's number showed up on the caller ID, no one would answer.

The phone rang five times, and then she finally answered.

"There's a party for Lindsey at our bar tonight, and you better be there. With all that he's done for you, you owe him one hell of a goodbye."

I hung up the phone before she could say anything. I knew she'd show up.

**Nate**

"What's this?" I asked Kelly, holding up my latest chemistry exam.

"It looks like an A to me," he answered, grinning.

"That's funny, because I was sure that I failed this. I don't even understand the subject at all.

"Well, when you're tutored by the teacher himself, you end up with good grades. Now come here." He pulled me towards him and kissed me hard, shoving his tongue in my mouth. I nearly choked and tried to pull away, but he held me tightly.

"I have a boyfriend now; I don't need you," I spat.

"That's too bad isn't it?" he asked, still holding me with one strong hand, and undoing his pants with the other. "Because I'm not done with you."

The way he looked at me next made me nearly crumble. He had that kind of look that could stop anyone's heart, especially mine. Something in his eyes told me that I would be safe. He'd never hurt me, no, of course he wouldn't. I felt a sudden need to please him, and found myself sucking on his neck only moments later.

I bit down lightly as I climbed into his lap, halting his mission to take his pants off. He moaned into my ear right before my tongue found it's way into his mouth. Everything I was doing was forbidden, which was probably why I wanted it so badly. Before this day, I'd only been trying to find an outlet for the pain Craig left me with, but now…now I was just having fun. And I didn't need to take any pills this time.

**Lindsey**

I sat on Theresa's bed, looking around the room. She was supposed to be keeping me out of trouble, and making sure I stayed busy while Thomas planned the party, but she told me that she needed to take a shower first. Ellie wasn't in, so I was left to think about what had happened earlier that day.

I knew I'd done the right thing when I confessed, so why did I feel like crap? I was helping everyone out by not making them break the law for me. But now I had to go to prison, so I was on a kick of feeling sorry for myself.

After realizing Theresa had a mini fridge in the room, I bent down in front of it and pulled the door open. There was only a single beer inside. I pulled it out and twisted it open—of course the girls have twist open caps—sucking it down as fast as I could. I only gave me the tiniest buzz, but it at least made me feel a little better.

But then an image flashed in my mind. I was slowly remembering the last time I was drunk. I had sex with some girl. But who? Even when I was drunk, I didn't make a habit out of sleeping with completely random girls—except for Sarah of course. As I gripped the bottle, resisting the strong urge to throw it against the wall and watch it shatter, I remembered.

Theresa.

I had sex with my best friend's girlfriend. Huh. It didn't seem to faze me that much. She had been gone when I woke up the next morning, and at the time, I couldn't remember who I'd been with. And now, that same girl was showering in the next room. She was naked in there, waiting for me.

I had nothing to lose really. I was on my way to prison anyhow.

**Marco **

I'd gotten a hold of everyone to tell them about the party—everyone except Andrew. He wasn't answering the phone in his room, and his cell when straight to voicemail. I told Jesse he should see if Andrew was okay, but he came up with some excuse that he needed to stay with Gracie, even though she was fast asleep.

I gave up trying to force him to go, and decided that I better go see if anything was wrong. When I got to his room, the door was unlocked, so I just went right in. I couldn't see him anywhere near by.

That was when I spotted his kitten, Lola, by the bathroom door. She was mewing like crazy, and I could see the paint peeled off where she had been scratching at the bottom of the door.

I wasn't sure what I would find in there, but I had to make sure he was still alive. I was stupid to believe that he was actually happy for Jesse and me. I should have seen through the fake smile and noticed the pain in his eyes.

So I slowly turned the knob, bracing myself because I knew with Andrew it wouldn't be pretty. Even with my knowledge of how dramatic Andrew had always been, I wasn't prepared for what I saw.

**A/N: I know perfectly well that in court they wouldn't set a sentencing date right in front of everyone…all whispery and crap, but it worked for this story, because I want to get the court stuff over with. Kelly has corrupted yet another student. This chapter took place on the same day as the last chapter…and so will the next one. After that, I will probably be skipping forward a bit. I really want to get past graduation because I have stuff planned for the summer. I just made it...two minutes before midnight! Sorry for the wait...I didn't even realize that it was Wednesday! **


	11. Let Me Walk Away From Your Locked Doors

**Chapter Eleven: Let Me Walk Away From Your Locked Doors**

**Marco**

There was blood all over the floor. I didn't see Andrew at first, but then I spotted him in a heap by the toilet. He had no shirt on, and when I got closer, I saw the big, jagged "X" carved into his chest, right over his heart. I put a hand over my mouth and held back tears as I approached him. Ever since he'd started cutting himself, as I learned from Rory, Andrew had never passed out. He was always fully conscious and aware of what he had done; slurring apologies as he got weaker and weaker.

Not this time.

He wasn't awake. At first, I thought he was dead, but then I noticed the steady rise and fall of his chest. I felt for his pulse anyway, and it was very weak. I knew what I had to do, no matter how angry he would be at me when he woke up. I dialed 911, told them my emergency, and quickly hung up. I didn't want to be on the phone with some woman who tried to calm me down.

That was when I saw the shower wall. There was more blood covering it. And the words. He'd spelled something out in his own blood: ALWAYS ALONE.

The tears came then. I was unable to hold them back any longer as I rushed forward to clean it. Grabbing a towel from the floor, I rubbed at it until it wasn't recognizable as any words at all. My eyes clouded over and I could no longer see. I struggled to breathe as I felt my throat closing up.

I wasn't sure what was happening, but I felt my chest start to tighten. I clutched at it as I stumbled out of the tub and went to Andrew, falling down near him. I thought I was having a heart attack. The world grew dark as I heard the paramedics rushing in. One of them started to talk to me. I couldn't even hear what he was saying because all of my senses were slowly escaping me.

"Help him," I choked out, lifting a weak arm and pointing at Andrew. Then everything went black.

**Ellie**

I'd barely been in this place for two weeks, and I was already being pulled into this boy drama. Marco had called me twenty minutes earlier, while I was out to dinner with a group of girls from my science class. I hadn't been having that great of a time anyway, and it gave me an excuse to leave.

Apparently Lindsey was going to jail, and they were throwing a going away party for him. I made my way to the address that he'd given me; it was some kind of bar. Of course, since I wasn't actually old enough, and hadn't had a recent interest in getting drunk; so I didn't have a fake ID. And when I got to the door, a big, burly guy stood in my way. I tried to simply walk right past him, hoping he wouldn't notice me, but he held a hand out and shoved me back. I'd been about to give him a piece of my mind when Thomas appeared. My stomach fluttered

"It's cool, she's with me," he told the guy. I saw him discreetly slip the guy some money. He nodded his head and let me pass.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked as he led me deep into the building.

"Not much to tell," he said, his voice low. I could tell right away that he didn't want to talk about it at all. He grabbed my hand as we neared a crowd of people dancing, not wanting to lose me in it. We both looked at each other as soon as he'd done it. I was sure that he felt the same thing I did.

The feeling, whatever it was, disappeared, because Thomas dropped my hand quickly. I shrugged it off and followed him to the back of the place. We were going to the VIP room, which was nearly empty when we got there.

"I managed to reserve it," he said, as if it were explanation enough.

"You must be one important customer here then," I said.

"I have to get back out there," he said, leaving quickly. I felt strange. I'd just had some sort of moment with a guy I haven't known very long, but then he rushed off. Well, he does have a girlfriend, I reasoned with myself. Leave it to me to be interested in someone who's already taken.

I looked around the room, noticing that there were only two people in there. One was the bartender, leaning against the bar, looking bored out of his mind, and the other was slumped on a couch on the far wall. I walked over to him and sat down, startling him out of whatever his thoughts were.

"You must be Rory," I said, extending a hand. "I've heard so much about you."

**Lindsey **

I slowly made my way to the bathroom and tried the door. Sure enough it was unlocked, and as quietly as possible, I let myself in, closing and locking the door behind me.

"Hello?" Theresa called out. She must have heard the door close.

"It's me," I mumbled, suddenly unsure of myself. She stuck her head out of the shower, and I felt my breath catch in my chest. The way her hair was neatly tucked up, the drops of water trailing down her cheeks; everything about her was beautiful. Especially the fact that I shouldn't be doing what I was about to do.

I hadn't even realized that I was walking closer to her, and I was suddenly within arms length. She reached out for me, exposing one of her breasts. I started to unbutton my shirt, but she pulled me by my arms and kissed me hard, pushing the curtain away. The water was cascading off of her body and onto mine as she ripped my shirt open, scattering a few buttons. I got my own pants and boxers down in two seconds flat; my shoes and socks had been discarded earlier by her bed.

Finally ready, I climbed into the shower with her, still keeping our kiss in tact. Her tongue searched my mouth for awhile, until I finally lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around me. We were already breathing heavy as it started, with water dripping into our mouths.

Our moans could not be heard over the shower; or at least we hoped they couldn't be. She groaned as I shoved her hard into the wall, finally finishing the job.

**Rory **

I was in my own private world, thinking about Marco, when a skinny little redhead plopped down next to me. As soon as I really looked at her, I knew who she was. Marco's best friend, Ellie.

"And you must be Ellie," I said, shaking the hand that was waiting.

"The one and only," she replied, smiling. I liked this girl already. "Do you know where Marco is by any chance?"

"No, and I don't even know why I'm here. Lindsey isn't even my friend. Well, I guess maybe he is, a little. Marco sort of pulled us all together," I explained, sighing. "Though sometimes I wish he hadn't."

"That can't be true," Ellie said.

"Why not?" I asked. How would she know how I felt?

"Because you love him. So you want to be with him, no matter who his friends are, and who you have to pretend to like…" she trailed off, as if she was just realizing something herself. She slumped down in the chair and started playing with her hair.

"Who's the guy?" I asked, eager to take the focus off of me and put it on her.

"Jay. I fell in love with him even though we were so different. I hated all of his friends, but I didn't care if I had to be around them, as long as he was there."

"But then he broke your heart." Maybe she did know how I felt.

"But it's not too late to get him back," she said, popping up excitedly. "Come on!"

"Whoa, wait! You're bringing me to Canada to get your ex back?" I asked. I really had no desire to go to Canada. Because Marco wouldn't be there.

"No! He's an ass and I never want to see him again. We're going to find Marco and get him back for you," she stated, a smile growing on her face.

"Sorry Ellie, but we're not." I went back into my depressive state. "I won't do that to Jesse. Marco's happy right now, and I won't do that to him either." I walked away from her before she could say anything more.

**Remy **

There was a party going on, but I had to have a session with Kelly first. I was getting better at pretending I wanted it; that way, maybe Kelly would let me go more easily. Because if I pretended that I didn't want to leave, but I had to, he would usually let me go after only an hour or so.

Before I left for his room, I went though the same routine I always did. I trudged to the bathroom, shoved my finger down my throat, and threw up anything I'd eaten that day. It was easier that way, and it was the only thing I could control.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face off before making my way to the one place I hated the most. Whenever I went in that room, my body started to shake, and all I wanted to do was go back to my bathroom and relieve myself of all the pain I was feeling. I felt so disgusting and worthless.

"Hey there baby," Kelly whispered in my ear. I forced a smile and kissed him, knowing full well that he liked me to take charge. "I'm so glad you came around. I knew you'd see things my way sooner or later," he said, closing the door and locking it.

"I have to ask you something first," I said, running a hand down his arm to keep him occupied by my touch. I remembered something about Nate, and it had been on my mind for quite some time.

"Ask away. We've got all night." I silently prayed he wouldn't keep me there that long before speaking.

"My friend, Nate…I saw him coming out of here one night. He says you were tutoring him. Is that true?" I asked, truly afraid of the answer he might give me.

"You know very well that I don't actually tutor anyone," he chuckled. "But for the record, I tutor him just like I tutor you. I use the same methods and everything."

He kissed me as I fell silent. I felt bile rising in my throat and wanted to be back in my bathroom, getting rid of it. I pushed him off of me and backed up. How could Nate do something like this? I thought he'd been shy. Craig was his first boyfriend. And then, Craig left…

Kelly came at me fast, angry that I'd pushed him off. I backed up even more, only to feel the wall behind my back. He slammed his lips into mine, knocking my head into the wall in the process. He nearly choked me with his tongue, and became even angrier as I gagged.

He grabbed the hair on the top of my head and slammed my head into the wall, once, twice, three times; and then everything went black.

**Theresa **

I pushed myself away from Lindsey, back underneath the water. I struggled to stand as my legs grew weak, and he tried to help me up as I fell, but I pulled myself from his grip.

"Get out!" I screamed, letting the tears come. What had I just done? He must have felt the same way I did, because he stumbled out, wrapping a towel around himself and grabbing his clothes. I watched as he struggled with the door, finally got it open, and walked out.

I forced myself to stand and washed my body everywhere. After what I'd put Thomas through, how could I have even done that? Because I'm in love with Lindsey. No, I can't be. It's not possible. I don't even know him.

I got out of the shower and pulled on my underwear and threw on a dress. I quickly dried the tears from my cheeks and put makeup on. When I finally got out to my room, he was gone. I was glad that I didn't have to talk to him, but I knew I'd still have to go to the party. There was no way I'd let Thomas get suspicious.

I had sex with Lindsey because I felt sorry for him, that's all. He's going to jail and he'll be alone there for a long time. He needed that, and I was just being a friend to him.

If all of that was true, then why did I not want him to leave? Why did I still want him to be in that shower with me, making love to me?

**Nate **

I walked into the party with my special guest in tow. He hadn't wanted to come at all, but I dragged him along, telling him that it was time he met my friends. By the time we got there, the party was full.

The only people I didn't see were Remy, Andrew, and Marco. And the first person we came upon was Thomas. He looked like he was going to explode when he saw us.

"Hey Thomas," I said casually, as if nothing was going on. "I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Tyler."

"Drop the act Nate. I know he's not your boyfriend," he hissed, glaring at Tyler.

"Actually, I am," Tyler spoke up. He pressed his lips into mine and we kissed for a minute, while he ran an arm down my back. When we finally broke apart, Thomas was still there, fuming.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked, dragging me off to the side before I could even answer him.

"I'll be right back! Grab us a few drinks!" I yelled to Tyler.

"What were you thinking?" Thomas yelled. "Bringing your fucking dealer to this party?"

"He's my boyfriend," I spat. "Learn to like it, because he'll be sticking around."

"I don't know what you're trying to prove, but you're just desperate. I know Craig broke your heart, but you don't need to be screwing anything with an asshole!" he snapped.

"Seeing as you're not even my friend anymore, I don't think it's any of your business!" I yelled right back, walking away from him.

**Jesse **

I didn't even know why I was at this stupid party. Everyone was dancing and having a good time, except Lindsey. He was at the bar, pounding drinks back like crazy. Oh, and I wasn't having fun either.

Andrew and Marco never showed up. Marco had gone to find him, and invite him. He told me to go on to the party and they'd be there soon. But they never were.

I contemplated joining Lindsey at the bar, but I knew I couldn't. My daughter was waiting for me at home. I'd left her there, sleeping, because I knew she'd be fine. Marco was supposed to be here two hours ago. We were going to only stay for maybe half hour, then go back home. So I thought Gracie would be okay if I just left her.

I decided she'd been left too long, so I made my way back to the dorms. No one even noticed that I'd been there anyway. When I got back into my room, she was there, still fast asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief that nothing had happened to her, and mentally smacked myself for even leaving her in the first place.

Marco let me down. I knew where he was too. He was off fucking Andrew, his ex-boyfriend. The two guys I felt something for were together, and I was here, with a little baby that wasn't even mine.

**A/N: This chapter took place on Saturday, January 14th. Sorry if the beginning isn't all that great, but I started writing it at 5:30 in the morning on four hours of sleep. Sorry it's up a day late guys. I had so much crap to do yesterday that I only got half of it done by 10. And I was too tired. **


	12. My Heart's In The Wrong Place

**Chapter Twelve: My Heart's In The Wrong Place At The Wrong Time**

**Marco **

My eyes flew open at the sound of a television. The last thing I remembered was the paramedics rushing into Andrew's bathroom. I looked around to find that I was in a hospital room, and the person lying in the bed next to me was watching TV.

After a few seconds of trying to focus my eyes, I realized that Andrew was the person in the next bed. I threw the blanket off of me, noticing that I was in a hospital gown. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up, but I felt a rush in my head and had to sit right back down.

"Andrew," I whispered, holding a hand to my head.

"Marco! You're awake!" he said excitedly. I heard him shifting in the bed.

"Don't get up," I said, looking at him. "I'm coming to you."

I tried to get up again, much slower this time, and didn't feel dizzy. My legs shook the entire walk to his bed, which was only about five or six feet. I sat down on the edge of it and sighed.

"Are you okay? What happened?" he asked, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I should be the one asking those questions," I said, looking up at him. He pulled his hand away and avoided my gaze by looking down at the blanket, playing with it between his fingers.

I reached my hand out and used it to push his chin up, forcing him to look at me. He had tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he cried, letting them spill over.

"For what?"

"It's my fault that you're here, isn't it? I heard the doctor talking to a nurse. They said you had an anxiety attack. It was because of me right? Because of what I did?"

This time it was me who looked away. I didn't want to admit it to him because I didn't want to upset him anymore than I already had.

"You should talk to Jesse," I said. "He still wants to be friends with you, and I told him that I wanted the two of you to hang out. So I'm telling you now too," I said, changing the subject.

"I promise that as soon as I get out of here, I'll hang out with him, okay?"

"Thanks," I smiled. "Let's skip all of the other sappy crap. I'm still a little tired, so I'm gonna go lay down."

"Same here," Andrew said. He leaned forward and hugged me. It was a warm, friendly hug, and one that I'd needed from him.

Of course, as soon as I'd gotten back to my bed, the nurse came waltzing in, ready to talk to me. She told me all about my anxiety attack, that must have been caused by stress, blah blah blah. Then I warned her not to call my father because I knew he wouldn't come, but she left the room to make the call anyway. At least when she left, I was finally able to go to sleep.

**Thomas **

"You think you have a right to be here?" I asked Tyler. I cornered him shortly after I'd seen Nate walk over to the bar.

"I'm his boyfriend, of course I have a right," he shot back, glaring at me.

"Well, I hate to tell you, but we don't let dealers into this party. So you can walk your faggot ass right out. I think you know where the door is."

"Wow, for a guy who's best friends with a bunch of gays, you sure don't know how to watch your mouth," he countered, not moving from his spot.

"I don't need to watch my mouth around anyone. Now get your ass out of here," I said, shoving him. He stumbled backward, but once he regained his balance, and just stood there.

"And if I don't?" he asked, just as Nate was walking back towards us.

"Then I'll have to kick you out."

"What's going on?" Nate asked.

"Tommy here was just telling me that he was gonna try to kick me out."

I couldn't stop myself. He called me Tommy and that really set me off. Nate knew what was coming, because his eyes widened and he took a step back.

My right hand flew back and then forward and I punched Tyler in the jaw.

"Is that the best you got?" he asked, spitting blood on the ground near my feet.

I leapt on him then, knocking him to the ground and punching him over and over again. Some people finally pulled me off, and Nate helped Tyler up off the ground.

"Let's go," he whispered. Then he looked up at me and glared. "Grow up Thomas!" he spat before leading Tyler away.

**Jesse **

It was getting late, and I was curled up on my bed, crying. Marco should be sitting here next to me, but instead, he's off screwing Andrew. What kind of a boyfriend is he? Doesn't he know I went through the same thing with Rex? At least Rex was off with a girl.

My cell phone rang suddenly, causing me to jump up and grab it. I didn't recognize the number, so I wasn't going to answer it, but for some reason I decided to anyway.

It was the hospital.

I'm such an idiot. Marco and Andrew were both in the hospital, and I assumed they were running away together or something. I jumped up, put Gracie in her carrier as quickly as I could, and hopped on the first bus to the hospital, cursing myself the entire way.

**Lindsey **

I successfully avoided Theresa the entire night, and only talked to Thomas once, to thank him for throwing the party. It wasn't much fun though; all I did was drink the night away.

I couldn't stop thinking about her. How beautiful she was. How it felt to be with her. I tried to shake the thoughts from my mind, but it didn't work. I was all hung up on her and I didn't know why. My best friend's girlfriend? Damn.

I watched her leave with him, and suddenly became jealous. Then I remembered where I was, and just sat down and ordered another drink. I turned my head, hoping to catch one last glimpse of Theresa, but she was already gone. And that's when I saw _her_ coming in through the door. Sarah.

After jumping up from the stool I was on, I stumbled over to her and kissed her. All thoughts of Theresa left my mind as I took all of her in.

"Hey baby," I said, brushing some hair away from her face. Instead of saying anything, she looked down at the floor. "What's wrong?" She lifted her head up and had tears streaming down her face.

"How can you even ask that? You know what's wrong Lindsey! You're going to jail…" I interrupted her by kissing her again. But she pulled away quickly, her mood turning from depressed to angry. "Have you been drinking?" she asked.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be? It's how I met you, after all," I told her, kissing her again.

"Stop it!" she yelled shoving me off of her.

"What, you don't want to be with me? After everything I've done for you?" I asked.

"Don't you get it? That's what got you into this in the first place! This is the reason you're going to jail; for being with me," she said, starting to cry again.

"Actually, I wouldn't be going if you hadn't lied to me that night. Do you honestly think I would screw around with a fourteen year old?" I asked. I did love Sarah, I really did. But I knew that I wouldn't be in the position I was in if she'd told me the truth. Once I was in it with her, I couldn't stop. But I never would have started if I knew how old she was.

"Once you found out who old I was, you didn't stop yourself then. You told me you loved me and I was stupid enough to believe it!" she yelled.

"I do love you! And that's why I'm going to jail for you! Not many guys would do that," I screamed right back at her.

She kissed me then, so hard that I never wanted to let go. I knew I'd have to let go sometime, but not tonight. I led her to another room and locked the door. We were in an empty VIP room, that no one was using that night.

I brought Sarah over to the nearest couch and laid her down, climbing on top of her. If it was our last time together, it sure as hell was gonna be our best.

**Andrew **

The doctor sent some psychiatrist down to talk to me after Marco fell asleep. So I've landed myself back in therapy, and now they've even got me on anti depressants.

I didn't want to wake Marco up, so I couldn't turn the TV back on. I sighed and lay back and just stared at the ceiling. There wasn't much else to do. If I started to think about who I really wanted to think about…I'd just get depressed. Then I'd need more pills, and, I don't want to end up like Nate.

There was some sort of commotion in the hall that caught my attention. I tried to see what was going on through the door, but all I couldn't see anything. And then he came in through the door. Jesse.

I squeezed my eyes shut and pretended to be asleep. It didn't matter anyway, because the only person he was concerned about was Marco. He'd even put Gracie in her carrier on the ground by the door. It was almost like he dropped the baby in that exact spot, so he could get rid of the dead weight that was keeping him from Marco.

I watched as he grabbed his hand and started whispering into Marco's ear. I instantly wished that I was the one he was whispering to, but it was almost like Jesse didn't even notice me. Like I was just another shadow on the wall.

Marco's eyes fluttered open at the touch of Jesse's lips to the corner of his mouth. It was some thing that they shared; I'd see them do it so many times when they thought no one was looking. It was kind of cute when I wasn't thinking about how I wanted to be kissed like that.

As they kissed again, full on the lips this time, my stomach started to get that feeling. It felt like a bunch of spiders were crawling on the inside of my stomach, and they were all fighting to get out. I snapped my eyes shut as I heard Marco mention my name. But I never opened them again that night.

**Ellie **

I watched Lindsey drag that Sarah girl off to the adjacent VIP room. I figured that he really did sleep with her; especially since they were gone for almost three hours. And when she left, her hair was all over the place, and her makeup was smudged everywhere. I had to laugh to myself; they were in over their heads, but still managed to look cute doing it.

What wasn't cute was the fact that immediately after she left, Lindsey made a beeline for the bar and proceeded to drink himself into a hole. I looked everywhere for Thomas, only to find out from some kid I'd never seen before that he'd already left with his girlfriend.

By the time I got to him, Lindsey was falling off the stool. I was barely able to drag him five feet, never mind all the way to the bus stop. Luckily, one of the bouncers helped me walk him down the street, probably not wanting to get in trouble for underage drinking. Then I managed to get him on the bus.

Since the closest place was my school, I just snuck him in there, and lugged him up one flight of stairs, onto my floor. I was actually out of breath and had to rest before pulling him down the hall, and finally, into my room. I'd thought that Theresa would be with Thomas, but she was actually in her own bed, asleep.

I somehow pushed and pulled enough to get him up on my bed, where he lazily kissed my cheek and grinned before passing out. I rolled my eyes and proceeded to the other side of the room, to attempt to tell Theresa that he was there. I shook her and poked her, but she just groaned and rolled away from me. I finally gave up and decided to call Thomas to give him a piece of my mind. I left the room and stood in the very empty hallway.

"Hello?" he asked, answering the phone on the fifth ring.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked. I hardly ever swore in my life, but I was pretty pissed off.

"Who is this?"

"Ellie. Who else? And I'm pissed at you Thomas," I said, glaring as though he could see me.

"What did I do?" he asked. He was actually almost whining; I must have woken him up.

"It's more like what you didn't do. Like, oh, I don't know…get your own damn best friend home!" I hissed, trying to stay somewhat quiet. "I had to drag him to the bus stop, on and off of it, and up to my room!"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't know he would get that drunk. I take it Sarah showed up…"

"Of course she did. You're such an idiot Thomas. Do you even care about anyone but yourself?" I spat.

"What do you mean? I called Sarah for him, so that they could have a proper goodbye."

"I wasn't talking about them; I was talking about me. Don't you even care that I had to bring him home with me? That I went through all kinds of trouble to get him here, nearly got myself killed, and am facing expulsion if anyone sees him?" I whispered as loudly as I could.

"Of course I care about you Ellie. A lot, actually," he said.

Everything was silent for a few moments as both of us were probably just trying to understand why he'd said that. A lot? What did he mean by that?

"Uh…Ellie?" he asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I gotta go!" I said. "Someone's calling on the other line."

I wasn't lying so that I could get off the phone with him; someone really was calling me. It was Marco, and he was in the hospital! Suddenly, all of my thoughts of Thomas and Lindsey disappeared. I scribbled a note and left it next to Theresa's bed before rushing off to see if Marco was okay.

**Theresa **

As soon as Ellie was gone, I sat up in bed and squinted in the dark to read the note. I leaned closer to the window, and caught a line saying that she wouldn't be home until probably after classes that day, since it was already very early in the morning. That was all I needed to know.

I got up and locked the door, just in case, before walking over to Ellie's bed. There he was, sprawled out across her bed, his mouth hanging open. I couldn't think of a time when he looked any cuter than that exact moment.

He was warm as I crawled into bed with him, and cuddled up to his stomach. I kissed him softly, and he finally opened his eyes. He murmured something that I couldn't make out and kissed the top of my head.

"What?" I whispered, pressing myself even closer to him.

"I guess our plan worked," he repeated, kissing me again, on my nose.

"I guess it did," I said, smiling. He ran a hand through my hair and kissed me one last time, slipping his tongue into my mouth for a brief moment. Then he wrapped his arms around me and fell asleep.

**Remy **

When I woke up, my vision was blurry and my head was killing me. I could just make out the numbers on the digital clock: 11:24 am. Classes had obviously already started. I'd almost forgotten where I was, but then it hit me.

I remembered my head being slammed into the wall…and Kelly's face as he did it. He was grinning wildly with a devilish look in his eye. He enjoyed all of it so much. I managed to stumble to the bathroom and shove my finger down my throat. My body was in so much pain, but the bile passing through my throat somehow made me feel a little better.

I left the room carefully, making sure that no one saw me. I couldn't be in there any longer. I never wanted to go back, but I had to. I had to make it through the year.

While only a few doors away from the room, I saw someone walking towards me. He wasn't just walking towards me; he was walking towards that room. It was Nate.

My stomach flopped. Nate and I had somewhat become friends over winter break. I suddenly felt like I had to protect him; like I would be responsible if the same thing happened to him.

"Where are you going?" I choked out. My throat hurt like hell, and I was just realizing it for the first time.

"You look like hell. And I'm just…walking," he said. I knew he was lying right away. He was going in there to wait for Kelly, who would probably be on his lunch break soon.

"Don't go back to him," I warned.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know what you're doing with Kelly. He told me. And it's the same thing I used to do. But trust me, it won't turn out good," I said. I really wanted him to hear me.

"The same thing you used to do? The way I see it, you still do! And maybe you just want him all to yourself," he said, getting angry.

"Are you kidding me?" I said loudly, trying not to yell. "I don't want to do this; any of it. But he has all of the control," I told him, getting upset.

"That's crap. You could stop if you wanted to and you know it. And Kelly doesn't have the control with me; I do. And I like it that way," he said, trying to walk past me.

"You'll lose the control," I said to his back. "And you'll end up like me."

He completely ignored me and kept walking. I watched, hurt, as he let himself right into Kelly's room and slammed the door. I held back tears as I stumbled back to my own room.

Nate was right; I could stop if I wanted. And I did want to; but I wanted to graduate more. I felt the urge to throw up again, and rushed back to my room to do it. I would have gone through with it, but when I opened the door, Rory was in my room.

"What happened to you?" he asked, a worried tone in his voice. We hadn't been spending much time together, and I suddenly realized how much I missed him.

"Don't worry about it," I told him as I collapsed onto my bed. "Why aren't you in class?"

"Because this period is history, with Mr. Jackson," he said, sighing. I could tell that he was upset about something, but I didn't know what. "Remy, I probably won't graduate. I'm gonna fail this class because I just can't go," he confessed.

"Why not?"

"I'm gonna ask you a favor first, and then I'll explain," he said, sitting up.

"Okay," I said, shrugging.

"Will you go to the class and pretend to be me? For the rest of the year? I just can't face that guy," he told me, his eyes starting to tear up.

I thought about what he was asking. I was in the same boat as him, struggling to graduate because of some pervert teacher. I hoped that this Mr. Jackson wasn't doing the same thing to him that Kelly was doing to me.

"Of course I'll do it," I said. "You're my brother."

"Thank you," he said, instantly relieved.

"But you have to tell me why." He sighed; obviously he'd hoped that I wouldn't make him tell me. But I was getting upset, and I was definitely ready to kick the guy's ass if he was hurting my brother.

"It happened when I was living on the streets…"

**A/N: This chapter took place on the night of Saturday, January 14 and the morning of Sunday, January 15. The next chapter will be skipped ahead quite a few months because I want to get to graduation soon. **

**Sorry the chapter is so late, but this time it's actually not my fault! The site wouldn't let me upload my chapter at all...I kept getting an error message. So here it finally is. For anyone who reads My Escape, I'm sorry to say that the chapter isn't finished yet. I've been having a really crazy week/weekend and I haven't had time to write. I'll try my hardest to get it up before Monday. **


	13. Why Can't I Be Somewhere Else Tonight?

**Chapter Thirteen: Why Can't I Be Somewhere Else Tonight?**

**Rory**

The next five months passed quickly, and the day was finally here. Our graduation day.

That day in January, when I told Remy what happened to me, he was horrified. I breathed a sigh of relief when he told me that he wasn't going to judge me for what I had been doing. He told me that he was my brother, and he always would be. But he wanted to kick Mr. Jackson's ass. I somehow convinced him not to, and he went to class for me so I could graduate with everyone else.

Things had been mostly the same since January. Marco and Jesse were still the perfect little couple out of all of us; they had their own little family. I didn't want to have a family, with a kid like they did, I just wanted Marco.

Andrew was still alone, and he always looked depressed; like he was on the verge of killing himself. But we talked a lot, and he said he was getting happier because of therapy, and that his therapist was helping him realize that he had a lot in life, and having a guy didn't necessarily mean he'd feel better.

Although Remy and I had our moment that night, he'd been having tutoring sessions every night, so I didn't see him that much. But when I did see him, he looked even more depressed than Andrew. He was also starting to get a little pale, and was losing weight, which he blamed on the school. He said it was sucking the life out of him, but as soon as we graduated, he'd be so much better.

I've been trying not to be depressed myself. I feel like I have to be strong for my brothers, and hold us all together. With any luck, Remy's right, and we'll all be better when we go back home.

**Nate **

Tyler is perfect for me. I don't need anyone else but him. He gives me the pills I need to get through each day, and our sex is better than ever. Of course, I've still been seeing Kelly, but not as much. He doesn't complain, because I have the control. Remy was wrong.

I was on my way to see Tyler because we were going to spend the day together before I the graduation ceremony. He told me he had something special planned, and I couldn't wait to see him.

While I walked down the hall, I saw Kelly coming toward me. I tried to ignore him and walk right by, and when I almost thought I had succeeded, I felt his hand wrap around my wrist and pull me hard.

"I'm busy," I said through gritted teeth. I didn't feel like talking to him at all; I only wanted to see Tyler.

"Actually, you're not," he replied, practically dragging me back towards my room. He opened it and pulled me inside, locking the door and shoving me onto my bed.

"I have somewhere to be," I said, my anger rising. I got off the bed and pushed him away from me.

"Yeah, you have to be right here." Kelly pushed me hard, right back on my bed, and got on top of me, pinning me down. "You'll be a good little boy or I'll have to punish you," he whispered in my ear before kissing my neck.

He started sucking on my neck then, and it wasn't like it always had been. He was being more forceful, and actually hurting me. I shivered in pain and fear, but he mistook my reaction as pleasure.

"I knew you wanted me," he said.

"I don't," I told him, squirming underneath him. All this time I thought I'd actually been stronger than him, but I realized that he was just letting me do what I wanted before.

"That's just too bad then, isn't it?"

He rolled me over and unbuttoned my pants, slowly pulling them off. Instead of going for my boxers next, he got off of me and took his own pants off, to reveal that he wasn't wearing any underwear. This had all been planned.

"Don't you move," he commanded, and I obeyed. I knew that if I tried to leave now, that he would hurt me, and I didn't want that to happen. So I just lay there and watched as he made his way over to my closet and pulled out four of my ties that went with my uniform.

When he came back over to me, he took my shirt and boxers off, and then told me to roll over on my stomach. I knew what was going to happen, and when I hesitated for just one moment, he slapped me. With my cheek stinging, I slowly switched positions so that I was lying on my front, and closed my eyes. I willed myself to fall asleep or pass out, but that didn't happen.

I lay limp as Kelly tied my hands and feet to my bed posts before I felt him climb onto the bed behind me. He just stayed there for a few minutes, and I couldn't turn my head to see what he was doing. I finally felt him start to kiss my back, down to my butt, and then even farther, to the inside of my legs.

Without warning, he slammed himself into me. I stifled a scream into my pillow and bit my lip, feeling the blood trickle into my mouth. I saw starts as he kept going and going, pain searing through me. The pain continued to come, and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't move at all.

At that moment, I knew that Remy was right. I had lost control.

**Ellie **

I got ready for the boys' ceremony, trying to figure out what to wear. I'd never had a problem getting dressed before, but for some reason, my mind was drawing a blank.

Our graduation was two days ago, and all of the guys had attended to see Theresa and I, so of course, we were going to theirs.

Marco was coming to pick us up in a half hour because we needed him to get us into the courtyard at his school. As I held up a few more outfits, I knew that I wasn't trying to dress nice for Marco.

For the past five months, I haven't been with anyone. I haven't gone on any dates, or even gone out with everyone on the weekends. I knew I would feel weird if I was the only single person (who wasn't gay).

Then I realized who I was getting dressed up for. Thomas.

That night, on the phone, he told me that he cared about me a lot. I just couldn't shake it from my mind, no matter how much I pretended that he never said it. I hadn't even spoken to him since then, and had only seen him a few times when he came to pick Theresa up for a date.

How can I like the boyfriend of my roommate? Theresa and I have even become best friends, something I haven't had with a girl since Ashley left for London. I can't do this to her, not now, not ever.

Besides, I bet Thomas was drunk when he said that. He probably didn't even mean it.

**Andrew **

I just wanted it to be over, but the ceremony dragged on. We were all waiting for our names to be called, and to be able to get away from this school for good. It hadn't been good to any of us recently, well, except maybe Marco and Jesse.

I pulled my thoughts away from them and focused on graduating. My therapist had been helping me realize that I can be happy being single right now. And as much as I believed her, I still wanted to be somewhere else. I didn't want to be sitting in this hard chair. I wanted to be with _him_.

**Theresa **

I went with Ellie and Marco to the school, but as soon as we got there, I went off to find Thomas. He gave me a quick kiss but told me he needed to be up on stage, and ran off.

I knew the ceremony would be long, but it was even longer than I thought it would be. Thomas wasn't even going to be getting his diploma until near the end. I waited patiently for that moment to come, so I could cheer for him like all of his friends.

I saw his parents sitting off to the left side, his mother all teary eyed because her son was finally graduating. His father was just sitting there, with his arms crossed over his chest. While I waited for Thomas' name, I started thinking about someone else.

I knew I should only be thinking of my boyfriend, especially since it was his day, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't help but think that I wanted to be somewhere else, with someone else.

Suddenly, I heard the name "David Kingston Reimer" and I knew I missed it. I looked up to see Thomas sitting, with his diploma in hand, staring right back at me. He looked upset; he knew I'd missed his name, that I hadn't even cheered for him.

And by the look on his face, it seemed like he knew why.

**Jesse **

I had a feeling in my stomach that just wouldn't go away. I felt like everything I'd been doing was wrong; that I wasn't a good boyfriend, and I definitely wasn't a good father. I shook those thoughts away and started thinking about how great this could be. I was graduating, and would be able to go to college, and after that, get a career that my daughter would be proud of. I didn't know what I wanted to be, but I knew that I wanted to be _someone_, if not for myself, then for Gracie.

I looked out over the audience, trying to see anyone I knew. I spotted Ellie and Theresa, each of them with their minds elsewhere. My parents wouldn't be there of course, since they were no longer alive, and my sister didn't show up either. I didn't think she would.

Then my eyes caught sight of my daughter. She was sitting in the lap of her grandmother; Rex's mom. I fought back tears as I thought of Rex, and became ashamed that I hadn't even thought about him in five months.

Rex's mother was stronger now; she came here to see Gracie and to see me, which made me feel even worse. She thought of me when I wasn't thinking of her, or anyone else. A single tear escaped my eye as Mrs. Mora picked up Gracie's arm and had her wave to me.

She was getting so big; she'd be a year old next month. And her father wasn't here to see her grow up. Neither was her mother. And for the first time since I'd had Gracie, I realized that I was to blame for that. If it wasn't for me, both of her parents would still be alive.

**Thomas **

After my name had been called, there were still about fifteen people to go. I sat and waited for the stupid thing to be over. Theresa hadn't even watched or cheered for me as I went up to get my diploma, and I was pretty sure I knew why.

I was ready to graduate, that much was true, but I wanted it to be over quicker than this. I wanted to just leave, and be somewhere else. Earlier, when I had been looking at everyone there, I quickly skipped my eyes over my parents, smiling at my mother, then looking for other people. I saw Ellie and Theresa sitting together and smiled. But I hadn't been smiling at Theresa. I was smiling at Ellie. And I think they both knew it. So Theresa stopped caring, and didn't look at me the rest of the time.

I couldn't get this girl out of my head. She was off limits. I have a girlfriend, and Ellie's just a friend. When a guy is as much in love with a girl as I am with Theresa, he isn't supposed to be thinking about any other girl.

But I am.

**Remy **

It was finally over; we were leaving this hell that other people called school. I wouldn't have to see Kelly ever again. When I thought about Kelly, I immediately started looking for Nate. His boyfriend was in the audience, looking angry. Much earlier, I'd overheard Tyler talking to Nate's mother, looking for him. He said they were supposed to hang out earlier that day, and he never showed up.

I saw Nate come late to the ceremony, and he looked horrible. I could tell that it hurt him to sit down, and I suddenly knew what had happened. Kelly had come in a few minutes after Nate, looking very happy. I was in a rage, but had to control my temper throughout the entire ceremony. But now that it was over, and I wasn't a student at the school anymore, I had an idea.

As people were about to leave, I jumped up and ran over to the microphone at the front of the stage.

"Excuse me," I said, tapping the mic. Everyone stopped and looked at me. "I just have something to add to this fine evening." Anyone who was standing up sat back down. My parents looked bewildered; they didn't know I was making a speech. But then again, I didn't know either, not until now.

"I just have to honor two teachers that have always been there," I said, my voice laced with sarcasm. I didn't think anyone noticed though. "Mr. James? Mr. Jackson? Are you out there?" I asked. "Come on up, because you really should get what you deserve; for being the kind of teachers that you are."

I watched as Kelly and Mr. Jackson, that asshole that raped my brother, slowly made their way to the stage. Kelly was grinning, thinking that I was going to fuck him on stage or something, and Mr. Jackson was just staring dumbly.

"Mr. Jackson, I'd like to give you this," I said, since he was the closest one to me. I pulled my arm back and let it fly forward, closed fist and all, punching him square in the jaw. I punched him one more time, causing him to fall backward, right onto his ass. Everyone gasped, and I heard some other teachers calling for security.

Kelly grabbed onto my arms, trying to look like a concerned teacher, but he was really trying to keep himself from being punched. He knew my intentions.

I somehow found a burst of strength and spun around, punching him in the nose. His head snapped back, then bobbed forward. A slow trickle of blood trailed down his face, and suddenly, I heard a bunch of cheers coming from my classmates. It was then that I realized that Nate and I weren't the only ones that he hurt.

I grabbed onto Kelly's shoulders and pushed down, bringing my right knee up, slamming it right into his crotch. He doubled over and shrieked in pain, just as I felt arms grabbing at me. Security had arrived, and a few men were telling me that I'd be in a lot of trouble.

"I doubt that!" I yelled. "Seeing as all I did was kick the asses of a rapist and a molester!"

Everyone was quiet, especially the guys in my class. My smile disappeared and I had tears in my eyes. Nate limped forward and threw his arms around me.

"Thank you," he whispered, just before I was dragged away.

**Lindsey **

I sat in my dark cell and scribbled away in my notebook. I had nothing else to do, so I'd been writing a diary of my days in the slammer. I chuckled to myself and closed the notebook. I was trying my hardest not to cry.

I'd been here for five months; more than half of my sentence. I already petitioned for parole, and they turned me down. As scared as I had been to come here, it wasn't so bad. No one really bothered me. I was thankful that I wasn't in real prison; because I knew that there, I'd probably be raped every day or something.

But all of the guys were here for lesser charges, serving their year or less than that. We all acted like it was one big party, but all of us had people that we missed.

I knew today I should have been graduating high school, but I was here instead. I was here because I fell in love with the wrong girl.

But there was another girl, one who had been really helping me get through this. She'd visited me every weekend, and I was waiting for her. When the bell sounded (it was more like a buzzing noise) for visitation, I was led to a table and told that someone was there to see me.

Since neither of my parents had come at all, I knew it would be her. She kissed me hard before sitting down across from me and taking my hand.

"I love you Theresa," I whispered to her, leaning forward and pressing my forehead against hers.

"I love you too."

**Marco **

The graduation ceremony had ended two hours ago. I left Jesse so he could spend some time with his daughter and Rex's mom. I went to the park and sat on the bench that Rory and I had shared a few times that year. The sun had already set, so I closed my eyes and tried to think back to those moments we shared.

So much had happened that year that I couldn't believe it. I fell in love with three guys, but only one stuck in my head. I forced myself to think of Jesse instead, my boyfriend. I still loved him with all of my heart, and decided it was time to go be with him. We'd pack up our bags together, then go on to Andrew's house for the summer.

I walked back to the school and went inside. I made my way up to our room and pushed the door open, ready to have a little fun with Jesse before we started packing. But he wasn't there. At first I thought that maybe he was still with Rex's mom, but then I heard noises coming from near our bed. There was Gracie, sitting in her playpen.

I quietly cursed Jesse. Why did he leave her alone again? He'd been doing that lately, and he told me that he knew she'd be fine.

Luckily for me, I'd gotten much better with her, and she warmed right up to me. I picked her up and hugged her, apologizing that her daddy left her alone again. Then I made my way to Andrew's room, because I figured that Jesse was either hanging out with him, or getting directions to his house in Los Angeles.

I opened Andrew's door and gasped. I almost dropped Gracie, but I didn't.

I'd found Jesse alright. I found him in Andrew's arms; kissing him.

They both looked up and jumped away from each other as Gracie cried out.

Jesse flew towards me, saying that he could explain, but I didn't want to listen. I pushed his daughter at him and he took her. Andrew was saying 'sorry' over and over again.

I ran from the room and kept running until I was out of breath. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and clouding my vision.

Now that I finally knew the truth, I couldn't take it. I let myself fall to the ground and just sat there crying. My heart felt like it had been broken into little pieces, and my stomach was flopping around. I tried not to be sick on the floor and just pulled my knees up to my chest.

**A/N: There you have it. I'm actually happy that it's only a day late because I thought I wouldn't get it done. But I wrote the whole thing just now…it took three and a half hours (I took a few breaks in between POVs). I haven't decided how many chapters there will be…somewhere between 20 and 30 I suppose. I don't have much more to write, but I always end up getting ideas in the middle of chapters, and prolonging other things that I had in mind. Everyone's POV was in this chapter; I wanted to make sure of it. And for the rest of the story, they'll all be at Andrew's (with some exceptions, as you'll find out). **


	14. All That Matters Is You

**Chapter Fourteen: All That Matters Is You **

**Marco **

"What happened?" I heard a voice ask from above me. I dried my face off as best as I could, and looked up.

"I'm so glad to see you," I told him, sighing.

"Why don't we go to the park," he suggested. "Our bench? Then you can tell me all about it."

I knew he would be able to make me feel better. He was always able to. I took his hand and let him help me up. We walked to the park in silence, hearing only the crickets around us.

"So, spill," he said, taking my hand as we sat down on our bench. The only light we had was the moon, but it was enough.

"All this time, I was worried that I was hurting him, by hanging out with you," I complained. I tried not to cry again because it wasn't going to help me. "I confessed to him that we kissed and he _forgave _me when he was doing this behind my back. He was cheated on and it destroyed him, so why would he do this to me?" I whined, laying my head on Rory's shoulder.

"Don't hate him Marco. We're all fucked up from this year. Most of us were screwed up way before that…"

"I know. I just never thought that he would do this to me. Maybe I deserve it," I said, sighing.

"You don't deserve to be hurt by anyone," he said, lifting my head up and looking at me.

"You never hurt me," I whispered, smiling.

"Not even when I broke up with you?" he asked.

"No. Not even then. You were giving me the chance with Andrew that I needed. And I knew that. You've always been here for me Rory, no matter what," I told him.

"I would never leave you."

I saw in Rory the love that I needed. I threw my arms around him, hugging him until I thought it was safe to let go. We both missed the sunset that day. But we'd found each other again, and that was all that mattered.

**Jesse **

"I screwed up so bad," I groaned, holding my head in my hands.

"We both did," Andrew answered, rubbing my back. "But as much as I feel horrible about hurting Marco, I wouldn't take back what happened. Because I love you," he whispered.

I looked up at him and stared. My mind was racing. Love? But what about Marco? I managed a weak smile.

"I love you too." And I really meant it. Andrew pulled me to him and kissed me softly. I leaned my head on his chest and looked over at Gracie. She had just fallen asleep, and we had her in the middle of Andrew's bed, with pillows surrounding her so she couldn't roll of the bed.

She'd gotten so big—she'll be turning one next month. The time was passing so quickly.

"She's lucky to have you," Andrew said, pulling me from my thoughts.

"I doubt it. But I'll try to be a good father," I said.

"And so will I."

I looked up at him in surprise, and he just smiled back.

"I love her so much. And I want to always be there for her. And for you," he added.

"I have to find Marco," I said quietly.

"I'll stay here with her," Andrew told me, motioning towards Gracie.

"No…come with me," I requested.

"She can't stay here alone."

"Why not?" I asked.

"You can't ever leave a baby alone Jesse! What if she wakes up, and gets into something she shouldn't. She could hurt herself, or worse," he said frantically.

"I have a lot to learn," I said, sighing.

"You obviously never had any sib…never mind," he said.

"My sister always took care of me. I never had to know how to take care of anyone before," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'll take her to your room in case Marco goes back there," he suggested.

"Okay. Call me if you see him," I said.

We kissed one more time, and then I left, still not sure if I was ready to face him. But it was now or never.

**Nate **

I knocked on the door frame and he looked up. He'd been packing to leave this place, like I should have been too.

"Hey Nate," he said. His mouth was pressed into a firm line, and I couldn't tell what he was thinking. "What's up?" he asked.

"I just wanted to say thank you, for what you did back there. I hope you're not going to get into any trouble," I added.

"They won't press charges. They know that I have more dirt on them than they could handle," he replied, finally smiling. "And you're welcome."

We stood in silence, looking at each other. It was weird, because it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. We were just standing there, and never broke eye contact.

I'd just opened my mouth to say something when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, startled, and slowly turned around. It was only Tyler.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah." I turned back to Remy. He had his arms crossed over his chest, and he was looking at the ground now. "Thanks again," I said.

"Don't mention it," he replied, glancing up and smiling one more time.

Tyler put his arm around me and led me away to help me with my own packing.

"Where were you today, before graduation?" he asked.

"It's a long story," I said. I didn't really want to relive it, though I knew I'd have to explain sometime. I sighed, wrapping my arm around his waist and putting my head on his shoulder as we walked down the hallway.

"I've got time," he replied.

**Thomas **

I knocked on Theresa and Ellie's door. My stuff was already packed. I was ready to leave the school behind, and leave my dad behind too.

Ellie opened the door, then stepped back and crossed her arms over her chest. She was wearing a short nightgown that hung just above her knees.

"I thought you were Theresa," she mumbled. "She forgets her key sometimes."

"Isn't that hers?" I asked, pointing to what she was wearing. I stepped in and closed the door.

"Yeah. I didn't get a chance to wash my pajamas yet. She sat on her bed, letting her legs hang over the edge, then made sure I couldn't see her underwear.

"It looks better on you," I said. A frown crossed her face. "Sorry," I told her. "So she's not here?"

"No. She left right after the ceremony," Ellie told me.

"She told me that she was staying here to help you pack," I said. She lied to me, but I wasn't sure why. What was she hiding?

"Sorry," she shrugged. "She's just not here."

"Well, at least you are," I pointed out. I walked forward a little and she didn't say anything. I rested my hands on her legs, and gently pushed them apart a little more, just enough for me to stand in between them.

I left my hands there, on her thighs, and she leaned forward. We stayed in that position, looking into each other's eyes for a few minutes. I moved my hands up to her cheeks and gently pulled her head towards me.

She leaned in even more, helping me, and placed her lips onto mine. We kissed briefly, and broke apart, looking at each other again.

I thought she might look away, but she didn't. A small smile formed on her face. I kissed her this time, sliding my tongue into her mouth.

I had climbed onto the bed, hovering over her, and was about to kiss her again when I realized what I was doing. Theresa was still my girlfriend. I stopped and sighed.

"I can't do this," I whispered.

"Thomas, I'm sorry," she said, looking away from me for the first time.

"I have to go."

I left as quickly as I could without looking back.

**Theresa **

"I'm glad you came," Lindsey said, still gripping my hands as if he wouldn't ever let go.

"I figured I should come see you since you should have been graduating tonight," I told him, giving his hands a little squeeze.

"Theresa, have you thought about what I asked you last time you were here?"

"I can't leave him," I said. "I don't think I can break his heart like that."

"What do you think will happen if he finds out about us? You don't think that will break his heart?" he asked.

"How would he find out about us?" I asked, suddenly a little angry. "Are you just gonna call him up and tell him?"

"All I'm gonna say is that I'm not sneaking around when I get out, if you're even still there. And I don't even want to be doing this. So you either tell him, or I will. All it takes is one letter or phone call, and I'll have him out here to see me."

"Are you threatening me?" I nearly yelled it, but then remembered where I was.

"If that's what you want to call it, then yeah, I am. Let me know what you're planning on doing the next time you come back. Or don't come back at all."

He stood up and walked back to the guard, signaling that he was ready to go back in. I wanted to chase after him; scream at him to rethink it. But I knew I couldn't do that. They would probably think I was trying to kill him or something, and then bring me to the ground.

I fought the tears and tried to save my dignity as I walked away, back to my boyfriend.

**Andrew **

Gracie was sleeping in her playpen, and I was sitting on Marco's bed, leaning against the wall. I didn't know what to do, other than sit and wait for him. I wasn't even sure what I would say to him, but I knew I had to be there.

Nearly two hours later, the door clicked open and he walked in.

"Marco!" I yelled, jumping up and running to him. I hugged him and held him close to me. "I'm so sorry." I immediately started to cry, knowing full well that it was going to happen. I was never good at hiding my emotions.

"Get a hold of yourself Andy," he said. I didn't even mind him calling me that. Marco could call me anything he wanted; I owed my life to him. "You're going to ruin your mascara." He pulled me back and looked at me, laughing. "Too late."

"This is not a time for jokes!" I whined, though I was glad that he was in a not so shitty mood. "I didn't want this to happen Marco. I'm sorry. I knew that I was doing the wrong thing and I never wanted to hurt you and…" he cut me off.

"It's not your fault Andrew. We're all screwed up in more ways than one, and I know that you needed Jesse. You needed him more than I did. He chose to cheat on me, and even though you participated, I'm not going to find you at fault. You're more screwed up than any of us, and I can tell that you've fallen in love," he explained.

"That's true; I am more screwed up than anyone. I've got the scars to prove it." I smiled, but then got serious again. "Um…Jesse wanted me to call him if you came back," I said.

"Don't. At least not until I leave okay? I just can't talk to him right now. I will talk to him, but only when I'm ready. I already talked to Remy and he's letting me stay with him for this last night."

"I understand," I told him. "Are you gonna be okay?"

He nodded, then kissed me on the cheek. I sat back down and watched as walked over to Gracie's playpen and lifted her up, careful not to wake her. He kissed her on the tip of her nose and whispered something to her. I think it was, 'I'll always love you.' I was trying not to seem intrusive.

Then he grabbed his bags that had already been packed, and walked towards the door. He took one last look at the room, with an extra long stare at the bed he and Jesse shared. Finally, he smiled at me and went out the door, leaving it open.

**Ellie **

I can't believe I'm such an idiot. I wasn't sure why I let any of it happen. Yeah, I do have feelings for Thomas. But he has a girlfriend, and she's my only friend who isn't a guy.

I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My makeup was smudged everywhere, and my tearstained eyes were puffy and red. I quickly washed all the makeup off and went back to my bed, where I pulled out my photo album.

There were pictures of me and my parents, before my dad left. Then there were pictures of Marco and I, going all the way back to when we'd first met. After those were some photos of me with Ashley, Craig, Jimmy, and even Paige. I even came across one of the very few photographs that I hadn't gotten rid of that had Jay and I in it. We looked so happy, and I almost wished that I was still with him, and we were both still happy. Almost.

The last two photos were one of Theresa and I, and the other one of Thomas and I. We'd taken them when the three of us hung out a few months ago. I pulled the last picture out and tore it in half. That way, I didn't have to see the two of us next to each other. I separated each half, putting the one of Thomas over myself in the picture with Theresa, and placing the other half by itself in the last sleeve.

It fit. He was with her, and I was alone.

**A/N: Yes! The chapter's done on time! More drama to come. I'll say this chapter took place on Friday, June 12 (I just made up a random number because I don't actually feel like counting up from January 14th or w/e, to see if June 12th is on the right day of the week). But I don't think anyone cares anyway lol. It's just for my own organization. **

**I have to say though that these POVs look much longer in Word, basically because this page is wider. But when I see my chapters up, it looks like I could have written them in five minutes...but I assure you (and if any of you guys write on here, youalready know)it's harder than it looks, and it does take awhile! **

**emphatic loser: thanks for your reviews...they always brighten my day! I hope you put up your own fic...let me know and I'll definitely read it. I love POTC! I'm really glad you like it. XD**


	15. We Just Weren't Meant To Be

**Chapter Fifteen: We Just Weren't Meant To Be **

**Marco **

The day after graduation, we all got on a flight to Andrew's house in LA. It was huge. And by huge, I mean that we each had our own bedrooms, with the exception of Nate and Tyler, who shared a room. We all had king sized beds and a few of the rooms had bathrooms attached. Mine didn't, but I didn't really mind.

That was a week ago. Everyone was completely settled in, and we'd all taken the week to explore the house. I still haven't talked to Jesse. I've been planning what I want to say to him, but nothing ever sounds right.

Rory has been coming into my room every night to talk. He just lets me tell him how I feel, or even sits with me when I don't feel like talking at all. I know Jesse can't stand the fact that I'll talk to Rory and not him, but I'm just not ready.

Rory and I had also already found the nearest park, and we took a walk there every night to watch the sunset. I'd just been about to find him and ask him if he wanted to hang out for awhile before we left, and I bumped right into Jesse in the hall.

I looked up at him and bit my bottom lip.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

**Remy**

I felt like such a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders when we left that school. I didn't have to see Kelly anymore. He couldn't threaten me with anything.

The Headmaster of our school had to ask me questions about my "accusations" of course. I told him the truth about Kelly; that he'd been having sex with students, and forcing them to do things in order to pass his class. He asked me if I had any proof, so Nate came down to his office with me, along with six other boys that had been through the same thing.

When Kelly was confronted by all of the parents, and teachers, and the headmaster, he broke down and confessed. He said all kinds of crap; that he forgot to take his medication, just all different types of insanity. He was arrested, and that was the last I heard of anything. Since he confessed, none of us had to appear at his hearing, but the police did have us make written statements for proof.

As for Mr. Jackson, I told the headmaster that I "heard" that he raped some kids, but I didn't specify my brother. Rory asked me not to tell anyone because he didn't want to stir up his old problems. As long as he didn't have to see the guy, he was usually fine. Aside from nightmares every now and then, he said that he could go about his normal life and not think about it.

Mr. Jackson left town before anyone could confront him about anything. He's still out there, but no one knows where. I'm just glad I was able to put all of that behind me.

**Jesse**

"Make it quick," Marco said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I have somewhere to be."

"Marco, don't be like that. We need to have a real talk," I complained. I sat down on his bed and patted it for him to sit next to me. He slowly lowered himself down, but sat as far away from me as he could.

"There's not much to say," he said calmly. "You cheated, that's it." He turned away and I could tell that he was holding back tears. I never wanted to see him this way.

"You told me to go to him," I replied under my breath.

"I meant for you to be friends with him! Not shove your tongue down his throat!" he was up off the bed now, pacing back and forth.

"I can't help it if I fell in love with him. I didn't mean for it to happen…but it did. And I can't change that," I explained, trying to keep myself calm. One of us had to. Marco snorted and rolled his eyes.

"You could have broken up with me first! After everything you went through with Rex, and now you do the same thing to me? You know how much it hurt you, so why did you want to hurt me?" He stopped in his tracks and looked into my eyes, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

"I didn't want to hurt you." I stood and walked over to him. I just didn't know how—I wasn't sure if I wanted to let you go." I took his hand in mine and lightly squeezed it, but he wrenched himself out of my grasp and took a step back.

"I thought that things were getting better between us. I fell in love with your daughter, and now you've taken that all away from me! How long was it going on?" he asked.

"You fell in love with Gracie, not me. And I'm not taking her away from you…" he interrupted me.

"HOW LONG?" he screamed it, more tears following.

"Five months," I whispered.

"Almost our entire relationship," he stated, looking at the ground. "You were only faithful to me for a month."

"You kissed Rory," I pointed out.

"Once. I kissed him ONCE. And I told him I couldn't cheat on you. And I WALKED AWAY. How many times did you kiss Andrew in those five months? How many times Jesse?" He turned his back on me and sighed. I saw that he was wiping his face off.

"Marco," I said softly. I reached out and spun him around by his shoulder. The look in his eyes nearly crushed me. He was giving up. "We were never in love," I said finally. "You were helping me get over Rex, and I was helping you get over Andrew. That's all it was."

"So I meant nothing to you?" he whispered, his shoulders slumped. He was still staring at the ground. Defeated.

"You meant everything to me." I lifted his head up by his chin and made him look at me. "I loved you from the moment I sat next to you on the train. And I always will. But neither of us were _in _love. You are meant to be with Rory, and I'm meant to be with Andrew. That's just how it is.

He nodded sadly, sniffling.

"I love you Jesse," he told me, throwing his arms around me and hugging me tightly.

"I love you too," I answered, pulling back and kissing the corner of his mouth one last time.

He looked at me one more time before leaving the room and closing the door.

The door clicked into place and then everything was silent.

**Theresa **

_I don't wanna do this anymore  
__I don't wanna be the reason why _

I still don't know what to do about Thomas. I've been deliberating for a week now, and I haven't come up with an answer. How can I tell him that I fell in love with someone? It scares me that I've fallen in love with Lindsey. It's not only because I'm still with Thomas.

But I've _never_ been in love with anyone. Not with Remy, not with Thomas…only with Lindsey. That's why I'm not even sure I'm in love. If it's never happened before, then how do I know it's happening now?

Maybe because I can't stop thinking about him, no matter how hard I try. And that I wish he was here with me right now, so that I could be with him for every second. I visit him every day—fly all the way across the country—and it's still not enough for me. I don't want him to be in prison. I want him to be here. Is that love?

I feel like I'm dying right now because I haven't visited him in two days. He's asked me every day if I told Thomas yet, and I keep telling him that I need more time. But I almost feel like he knows. I lie to him every day about where I'm going, and I'm sure he suspects something. The way he looks at me—like he's going to cry—just breaks my heart. I'm not the cruel person that everyone thinks I am. I'm just screwed up like everyone else.

_Every time I walk out the door  
__I see him die a little more inside _

So that's why I have to do it. I have to tell him, before it's too late. I really think that I'm the person he should hear it from. Because I don't want him to hate Lindsey. They're best friends right now, and I don't want to talk that away from either of them.

_I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
__I don't wanna take away his life _

"Can I talk to you?" I asked Thomas as I walked up to his room. The door was open, and he was shoving stuff in a bag.

"I gotta go, sorry," he said, walking past me.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"To visit Lindsey." My heart dropped. I didn't want him to find out this way.

"Can we talk first, please?"

"I don't have time. He called and said it was really important, and my flight leaves in an hour. I have to get to the airport and get through security and all that," he explained. I followed him down stairs.

"Can I at least drive you there? Then we can talk on the way," I begged, my last way out of this mess. I heard a horn beeping outside.

"Sorry, that's the taxi. I'll call you later, okay?" he asked. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and then he was gone.

Now what?

**Rory**

It feels so good to finally be back home, even if things are still crazy. Marco and I spend time together every day, which is something that I always look forward to. He knows that I still love him, and right now he's going through a bad breakup with Jesse, so I'll let him figure things out for himself. I'm not going to pressure him into jumping back into a relationship with me, or anyone else, for that matter.

To be able to watch the sunset again with Marco is probably the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. Just being able to sit next to him and hold his hand without feeling guilty means the world to me. More than once I've wanted to just let go and kiss him, but I don't want to complicate anything for him right now. I want him to be with me because he wants to be; not just because he feels like he should be.

Whatever happens, I'll always love Marco, and I'll never forget about him or leave him behind.

**Lindsey **

"What was so important that I needed to rush myself over here?" Thomas asked, sitting down at the table.

"I have to tell you something," I said, looking him straight in the eye.

"What, that you fucked my girlfriend?" he asked, never breaking eye contact.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Do you think I'm an idiot? The way she acted at graduation was enough for me. And maybe I got a clue from finding the airline ticket receipts under her pillow. Receipts that showed that she flies to New York City every day, when she says she's going shopping. How stupid do you both think I am?" he explained.

"Thomas, I didn't mean for it to happen. The first time, I was drunk, and you weren't together," he said.

"How about all of the other times? How many other times did you FUCK her while we were together?"

"One other time, that's all. Before the party."

"Before the party I threw for you? You're such a dick Lindsey."

"Thomas, you're my best friend. I can't help that I fell in love with…"

"The same girl I fell in love with. What happened to Sarah? The bitch that got you in here? I thought you were in love with her," he stated.

"I don't want this to ruin our friendship," I told him.

"If you cared that much, you would have told me sooner. Much sooner," he said, standing up. "Good luck with that slut. You'll need it."

He walked away without looking back.

**Thomas **

Of course I'd known about Theresa and Lindsey. I didn't want to break up with her because I love her. But now that it's real, now that Lindsey had me fly in so he could tell me…

Now I have to break up with her. I'm sure she knows why he called me there. They probably planned it.

The flight was almost five and a half hours, and since I'd left at six the night before, and spent a few hours in the city, leaving at three in the morning to go back, it was nine in the morning on Saturday by the time I got home. I slept the entire flight, which was plenty of sleep for me.

I headed straight to the kitchen to get something to eat, and there she was, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in her hand. Her leg bounced up and down, something she only did when she was nervous, and her head snapped up as she heard me enter the room.

"How was your trip?" she asked, jumping up and trying to kiss me. I turned my head in time for her lips to land on my cheek.

"It's over Theresa," I said, backing away from her.

"What did Lindsey say?" she asked as a frown formed on her face.

"He didn't have to say anything. I've known all along. I hope you're happy with him," I told her, my tone flat. She placed a hand on my arm and looked up at me, but I pulled my arm down and turned, walking away from her for good.

I knew where I wanted to go next. I lifted a hand and knocked on her door. She opened it and let a small smile slip across her face.

"What's up?" Ellie asked, stepping aside to let me in. I sat right down on the chair in the corner, and she sat on the edge of her bed.

"It seems like you're the person I can come to when I need to talk," I said, watching her for some sort of answer. She nodded, and I started my story.

I told her all about Lindsey and Theresa, from graduation, up until the part where I broke up with Theresa. Ellie was frowning when I was finished.

"You're probably better off without her," she said, narrowing her eyes. "I knew she was trouble." I laughed a little at that.

"You're the one who told me that you could see how much I loved her," I said. "You told me to go talk to her that night." I pointed a finger at her playfully, and she smiled.

"Well, you didn't have to listen to me."

I stood up and walked over to her, still grinning.

"I guess I figured you were so wise that I should take your advice. So it's your fault that I'm single now."

"Is that such a bad thing?" she asked. I was standing right in front of her. Instead of giving her a "yes or no" answer, I leaned forward and kissed her hard. Her hands moved up and gripped my neck as I gently pushed her back onto the bed and climbed on top of her.

My tongue snaked into her mouth and it glided along hers, as my hands found their way up her shirt. She stopped long enough to pull my shirt over my head, then started kissing my neck. I slowly took her shirt off next, and kissed down her stomach.

I made it to the top of her jeans, and moved my hands to undo them. I had the zipper halfway down when I felt her hand on mine. But she wasn't holding it, she was pushing it away.

"I can't do this," she said. I'd been in another place, completely engrossed in her half naked body, and her voice sounded so far away. I stood up and she immediately crossed her arms over her chest.

"What's wrong?" I asked, obviously disappointed.

"I don't want to do this just because you're upset about Theresa. I can't—I won't—be your rebound Thomas. We both know that it never works out that way."

"You're not my rebound Ellie. I care about you a lot. I've already told you that," I said, hoping it would change her mind. She shook her head and bit her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry," she choked out. "Not like this."

I watched as she pulled her shirt on and fixed her jeans, then ran out of the room quickly. I sat down on the bed and rested my head in my right hand, feeling defeated.

**A/N: This chapter took place on Friday, June 19th, and the morning of Saturday, June 20th. Yeah, I did my research for the plane trip and thought I'd add it in there. The title's mostly referring to the pairings of Jesse/Marco and Theresa/Thomas. I originally had it planned for Marco to be with Jesse in the end, but he and Rory fell in love. I don't know how many more chapters are left…I have a few more things planned and then it'll be over. How was the Jesse/Marco final breakup? The song during Theresa's POV is "Unfaithful" by Rihanna and she owns it. **


	16. Please Keep Me From Falling Apart

**Chapter Sixteen: Please Keep Me From Falling Apart **

**Nate**

I woke up suddenly, my body shaking and drenched in sweat. I had another nightmare about him. Kelly.

I lay there for another moment, trying to regulate my breathing. I felt Tyler's arms wrapped around my waist. Last week, I'd told him everything that happened when he asked. He was very understanding about the whole ordeal, and wasn't angry with me like I thought he'd be.

But as understanding as Tyler was, it didn't change what happened. And I knew that there was only one thing that could take my mind off of that monster.

"Wake up," I shook him lightly, placing a kiss on his cheek when that didn't work. Tyler groaned and opened one eye.

"I was sleeping," he complained in a whiny tone.

"And now you're not," I replied. "I need more pills," I stated bluntly. That should wake him up.

"Did you have another nightmare?" he asked, finally noticing the sweat that was slowly drying. I nodded and didn't say anything. It's not something that's fun to talk about. "Maybe you shouldn't…take anymore," he suggested like it was no big deal.

"I need them," I argued, sitting up. "Don't take that away from me."

"Maybe if you hadn't been taking them in the first place, it wouldn't have happened." He looked like he felt guilty about it. I found that sweet, but I was also getting angry.

"Why are you getting all righteous all of a sudden? You're a fucking drug dealer!" I shouted.

He sighed and his shoulders slumped. Rubbing at his eyes, he got up and walked over to his bag, grabbing a baggie of pills out of it.

"Here, just take it," he said, shoving it into my hands. I smiled greedily, and couldn't wait to open it.

Tyler just walked out of the room. I wasn't sure why he was so upset about it, but I didn't really care. I had what I needed.

**Remy**

"Feels just like old times, doesn't it?" Theresa asked, sitting next to me on the couch. I rolled my eyes and inched away from her.

"Don't try to come crawling back to me, just because Thomas broke up with you," I said. "Besides, I'm gay."

"How did you know?" she asked, staring at me like I was some psychic.

"We all live in the same house. News travels a bit fast."

"Anyways, you're not even gay. I don't think you even know what you are," she snapped. All that got her was another eye roll.

"Just leave me alone Theresa, I don't feel like talking to you," I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Remy…are you okay? You look really pale. And bony," she added, poking me in my ribs.

"I'm fine. Just go away."

"No, you're not fine." She put a hand to my forehead, and I flinched at her touch. "You feel so cold," she remarked, pulling her hand away.

"If you won't leave, then I will." I stood up and walked away from her, suddenly feeling very dizzy. My head was swimming, and I didn't feel like I could stand much longer. I grabbed onto the edge of the nearest chair, and took a deep breath.

"What's wrong? Let me help you," Theresa said, standing up to approach me.

"I don't need your help," I growled. I wasn't used to this side of Theresa, and I didn't really like it. "I just stood up too fast, that's all." I began to walk away from her again. Bad idea.

Before I knew what was going on, I fell, hitting my head on the ground. Hard.

"Remy?" Her voice sounded so far away…

Then everything went black.

**Andrew**

"So…you're a cutter," Ellie said simply, like it was the most normal thing in the world. I looked at her like she was crazy. Maybe she was. And that's what I loved about her.

"Yeah, so what?" I muttered, pretending to be a bit angry that she asked. No one ever asked me about it before. People just usually lectured me on the topic or slapped me.

"I just never met another one before," she said under her breath. I raised an eyebrow at that statement, and she bit her lip.

"You're…?" But she interrupted me before I could get the rest of the question out.

"Yep." She pulled her shirt sleeve up on her left arm, and revealed a jumble of scars that ran all the way up her shoulder.

I traced a few of them with my fingers before dragging both of my sleeves up to show her mine. She let out a small gasp, but didn't say anything else. I showed her Alex and Marco's names, and a few tears escaped her eyes at the sight of those.

"Andrew…" she trailed off, touching my arm lightly. There weren't any brand new cuts, but a few scabs.

"Don't say anything Ellie. I know I'm way more fucked up than you are," I told her.

She didn't say anything, but instead, she leaned forward and hugged me. No one had ever been compassionate towards me about my cutting. Probably because I'd never met someone else who did it either.

"You should stop," she finally said. "I know that after I did, I actually felt much better. I went to a support group for teens. Maybe you could…"

"No, I don't want to," I said, completely interrupting her. "And I don't think that I can stop right now. I just know that something bad will probably happen, and if I've been trying to quit, I'll just feel ten times worse if I break a promise. Because I know it will happen again," I explained.

"How do you know that you'll want to do it again?" she asked me.

"Because, not all of the secrets are out yet."

**Thomas **

"Why do you always have to screw everything up Thomas?" I heard a familiar voice ask from the doorway of my room. It was Nate. I knew it before I even looked up.

"Last time I checked, I didn't do anything to you. So why are you bothering me?"

I couldn't believe it was like this between us. Nate and I have known each other ever since I can remember. We always had our little fights, but made up a day or two later. But we hadn't spoken in over five months.

"You broke Theresa's heart. I knew I shouldn't have trusted you with my sister," he said, narrowing his eyes at me.

I laughed. What else could I do? I laughed, and he ran at me, shoving me. My body didn't move at all. He was tiny up next to me.

"How is that funny Thomas?" he growled, his hands balled up at his sides.

"Maybe it's funny because she was fucking Lindsey," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You're such a liar!" she spat, poking me hard in the chest. "I should kick your ass right now." I snorted, shoving him. He stumbled backward, but caught his balance before he fell.

"Like you could."

Nate came at me, clearly intent on scratching my eyes out or something.

"STOP!" someone yelled from the doorway. We both turned to see Theresa standing there looking pissed off. I glared at her, as if she had any reason to be angry. Nate just stared, probably wondering why she interrupted him from 'defending her honor.' I rolled my eyes and sat down in the chair by my bed.

"Are you going to set your brother straight, or were you gonna wait until I kicked his ass?"

"Shut up Thomas. She wouldn't do that," Nate shot at me, still facing Theresa.

"I did," she whispered, looking over at me. I shook my head at her and looked away. She hurt me, I won't deny that.

Nate paused, and I could tell that he didn't know what to do or say. He finally turned around and looked at me, his mouth slightly agape. Then he shut his mouth and it formed a thin line. He looked like he felt bad for me. I kept my face straight. I didn't need him to make me break down in front of Theresa.

I accepted his look of sympathy with a small nod of my head. But that was it.

He stood up and walked out of the room, leaving Theresa and I speechless.

**Ellie **

Andrew and I had been talking for awhile. Aside from Marco, he was easily the person I had the most in common with out of the group.

I didn't ask him what kind of secrets he had in store for us because I didn't want to know. I wasn't going to be the person everyone got mad at for not telling them earlier. So, our topic suddenly became University, which was boring, but virtually safe.

"Okay, why is it that we haven't filled out applications for University?" I asked. I didn't understand. I explained to Andrew that at Degrassi, we planned for University pretty much since grade nine. We were always filling out forms, and had all kinds of preparations.

"Well, with the kids that went to MGA and your school, the parents usually just pick some Ivy League University and pay enough money to get us in without applying. I think my parents chose Yale for me, Harvard for Remy, and Princeton for Rory," he said, obviously bored with the subject already.

"Why three different schools?" I asked.

"They want variety. And since they're paying, we can't really say no," he shrugged, smiling a little. "I just hope that wherever I go, there will be tons of hot guys. Or I'll quit."

"I don't know what I'll do then. Or Marco for that matter. Seeing as we're not exactly rich, we don't have parents to do that for us. What are we gonna do now?" I sighed. I mentally smacked myself for not thinking about it sooner.

"You guys should come with me," he suggested. "Or Rory, or Remy for that matter. My parents would be willing to pay for such good friends," he suggested casually, as if it was normal for them to pay for two kids that weren't theirs. I'd never even met them.

"I couldn't take money from your parents like that," I said. "It would be weird."

"They wouldn't mind, really. If you don't believe me, I'll ask them," he offered.

"Well, maybe I'll talk to Marco about it. Or I'll end up working at some fast food restaurant for the rest of my life. I don't really know."

"It's okay, take your time," he told me.

I was about to ask him something else when Jesse walked in the room. He walked over to Andrew and kissed his forehead, joining him on the bed. He smiled at me, as if to say 'hello' in his own lazy way.

"I'll just leave you two alone," I said, getting up and winking at Andrew in the process. I bent down and we kissed each other on our cheeks.

I walked off to find Thomas, hoping to have a talk and set some things straight with him.

**Theresa **

I went upstairs to ask Nate for help with Remy, but he and Thomas were fighting. After he left, I instantly remembered my quest, but decided against asking Thomas for any type of help.

I went back downstairs as quickly as I could, and Remy was still lying there where I'd left him. I knelt down and he groaned, starting to wake up. He opened one eye but closed it rather quickly, putting a hand up to his forehead.

"Come on," I whispered in his ear, starting to lift him up. He was so small in my arms, and fairly easy to pick up. He wasn't always this way.

He swatted at my hands and tried to push me away, but finally gave up. I managed to get him up and over to the couch. He kept his eyes closed the whole time. I made sure he was comfortable, with a pillow and blanket, and then sat down on the floor next to the couch.

"Remy, what happened to you?" I asked softly, trying to get him to talk to me.

"Nothing happened to me," he said, obviously lying. For some reason, he didn't want to tell me. "I'll be fine."

"Maybe you should eat something," I said. "I'll go make you a sandwich." I moved to get up, but he put his arm out and held me back.

"No, I'm not hungry," he grumbled.

"How long have you been starving yourself?" I asked. I hated seeing him like this. We were together for almost five years. Just because our relationship fell apart, doesn't mean our friendship has to.

"I'm not starving myself," he growled, sitting up. I ignored what he said and kept going, trying to at least spark some emotion other than anger.

"Have you been throwing up too?" I asked him. Moving to sit next to him on the couch.

"Theresa, mind your own damn business. I don't want to hear any shit from you. I'm fine. Leave me alone," he said, nearly yelling.

"You need to get help. You need to see a doctor, or go to rehab, or something. I won't tell anyone, I promise. As long as you get help," I pleaded with him.

"I don't NEED help from anyone." He stood up, this time much steadier, and started to walk away. "And you won't tell anyone anyway," he shot back, throwing me a glare that sent chills down my spine.

"I can't promise that," I whispered.

He turned and walked away from me, as quickly as he could, like nothing had ever happened.

**Marco **

I was on my way to find Rory so we could go to the park, when I walked by Andrew's room. I peeked into the door crack and saw Andrew and Jesse, lying on the bed. Jesse had his arms wrapped around Andrew's waist and his chin resting on Andrew's shoulder.

I watched as he haphazardly kissed Andrew's neck, and traced his fingers along his collarbone. I couldn't help but smile. It didn't pain me to see them together; it made me happy. I liked seeing them happy, and I knew who I was meant to be with. Rory.

I walked to Rory's room, giving Andrew and Jesse the privacy they thought they had. I knocked on the door and waited. No answer. Placing my palm against it, I gently pushed it open. He wasn't there.

My heart sunk as I walked into the room and saw the note on his bed. Just a small folded piece of paper with my name on it. I sighed and sat down, taking the paper in my hands.

He left me. I knew it. And he probably wasn't coming back.

I opened the paper and took a deep breath, reading slowly.

_Marco,_

_I'm sorry that I'm missing the sunset tonight. I didn't plan on it, but I had something that I really had to do. I'm going to NYC, and I'll be back by tomorrow night._ _I'll miss you._

_Rory_

So…he didn't leave me. Not forever at least. I sighed, still wishing he was there next to me, instead of on a plane or in the city.

I left the house and walked to the park alone, intent on watching the sun set without him. It wasn't going to happen for a few more hours, but I needed some time to think anyway.

I needed to think about what would happen when Rory got back.

**Rory **

By the time I got to the cemetery, it was already dark. The path was lit, and I was thankful for that. This couldn't wait. I had to finish it.

The air was warm with a soft breeze as I walked to the grave of my first love. I finally found it—the name 'Rex Mora' standing out in bold, white letters against a dull gray background. When I approached it I lay down, right on top of it. I wanted to be as close to him as I could. For the last time.

"Rex," I whispered with a sigh. "I never thought it would come to this. I loved you for a long time. I never wanted to stop," I wanted to get right into why I had come; I wouldn't draw it out because it was too painful.

"After we went our separate ways, I thought I'd never see you again. It took me a long time to get over losing you, and then, by some chance of fate, we ended up in the same school. And you pretended that you didn't know me.

"At the time, you probably thought it was the best thing to do, and maybe it was. But it left me wondering how things would be like if we got back together. I haven't figured out yet if it would have been any harder to lose you if we were together or. It probably would have been the same amount of pain. Because I still love you, and no one knows it.

"But Rex, I'm in love with someone else too. With Marco. I think that you would have liked him a lot if you'd gotten a chance to get to know him better. I want to be with him now, but I'm not sure if I can let go of you yet.

"That's why I came here tonight. I wanted to say goodbye, and try to get you out of my head. You'll always be in my heart, I can't deny that, but I need to move on."

I sat up and traced my fingers over his name and let a few tears roll down my cheeks. Moving to my knees, I leaned forward and gingerly pressed my lips to the top of the cold stone, feeling as though I was kissing his forehead.

"Goodbye Rex. I love you," I whispered.

As I walked away, the air was suddenly colder. I wrapped my arms around myself and headed to the apartment, my heart suddenly feeling lighter. I wiped my tears away and for the first time that day, a genuine smile broke out across my face.

**A/N: Sorry the chapter was late, but it was actually out of my control this time. The site kept giving me errors and wouldn't let me upload my document. This chapter takes place on Saturday, June 20th. How was it? Everyone's POV was included except for Lindsey and Jesse. I know it may seem random that Ellie asked Andrew about University, but I needed to have it in there because it was never addressed.**

**This will be ending soon. Chapter 20 is the last chapter! I didn't expect it to be over so quickly. And, to give you all a small spoiler, someone is going to die before it ends. But I won't say who. **

**emphatic loser: Glad you still like it! Thanks for all your awesome reviews. **


	17. It's Not A Love Letter

**Chapter Seventeen: It's Not A Love Letter; It's A "See You Later" **

**Theresa**

"Remy?" I called out. I went into his bedroom and didn't see him anywhere. That was when I heard the noises. It sounded like he was throwing up.

I made my way to his bathroom and found him kneeling in front of the toilet, shoving his fingers down his throat.

"What is wrong with you?" I yelled, causing him to jump and choke on his fingers. That allowed him to throw up, and after he flushed the toilet, he wiped his face off and smiled at me.

"Thanks," he said, walking past me, back into his bedroom. I followed him out and slapped him.

"Don't you ever do that again. You're hurting yourself Remy! Don't you understand it?" I yelled.

"Of course I understand!" he screamed right back. "You don't know what it's like to be me Theresa. You never have, and you never will!"

"You have to stop," I lowered my voice, pleading with him. "You'll waste away until you're nothing, and then you'll die." I held back tears.

"Don't you think I already know that? But I can't stop! I've tried so many times, and it's too late." He himself started to cry, which ended up bringing my own tears out.

"Why not?" I asked. "It should be easy to stop making yourself sick and to start eating again," I cried, hoping that was true. I didn't know; I never had experience with it before.

"You don't understand Theresa," he whispered, slowly sitting down on the end of his bed.

"I know. So _help_ me understand," I said, sitting down next to him.

"You'll never be able to. You won't know what it's like because you've never had an eating disorder. It's the only thing I can control anymore. Kelly took over my life with what he did," he told me.

"You're admitting it then?" I asked. "That you have an eating disorder?" He nodded weakly and I took him into my arms, holding him tight. "What did Kelly do to you?" I asked.

"I'm not ready to talk about it. A few other guys know what I went through, because it happened to them too. But I can't talk about it Theresa. I just can't. All I know now is that not eating and making myself sick never stopped the nightmares. And it never will." His body was so tiny in my arms and sobs shook his entire body.

I pulled a piece of folded up paper out of my pocket. It was the real reason I had gone looking for him.

"Here," I said, handing it to him. "I found people who want to help you."

He opened the paper and studied it for a few minutes. I watched as he blinked away tears to help him read it better, then folded it back up and put it into his own pocket.

"Will you go?" I asked quietly, praying that he would.

Remy nodded and started to cry all over again. He started heaving, like he was going to throw up again. I forced myself not to cry with him. One of us had to be strong, and it had to be me.

"Come on, I'll help you pack."

**Ellie **

I tried to get Thomas alone for a week and a half. I really wanted to talk to him about us. I wanted to give it a try because I knew I really liked him. Ever since we almost had sex the day he broke up with Theresa, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I guess he was mad about my initial reaction, because he'd been avoiding me since then. It was either that, or maybe he was embarrassed that he'd been rejected. Whatever it was, I just wanted to tell him that he went about asking me the wrong way, and if he'd do it right, I'd be happy to try things out with him.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked him when I finally found him sitting outside by the pool.

"Sure, what's up?" he asked, taking his sunglasses off to look at me. As soon as I looked in his eyes, I nearly melted. I'm sure you think that I'm being corny, but if you ever looked into Thomas' eyes, you'd understand.

"Have you been avoiding me lately?"

"Why do you say that?" he asked me. He was smart, I'd give him that much. He knew not to lie to my face, and he knew not to admit it.

"No reason I guess," I said, shrugging. "I've just been looking for you. So we could talk."

"That's what we're doing right now, isn't it?" he asked, grinning. I playfully smacked him and sat down at the end of the lounge chair he was in. He swung his legs over the side and sat straight up so he was right next to me.

"It's about…what happened…when you got back from visiting Lindsey," I finally got it out.

"What about it?" he asked, somewhat coldly. The smile on his face faded a little.

"I realized that, maybe you were right. Well, you never actually said something, but you were implying when you kissed me that you thought we should be together. And I just thought that, if you went about it a different way, I would have said yes. I just felt like I was being used," I explained to him.

"I wasn't using you," he said, sighing loudly.

"I know. But it felt that way. You just can't jump on a girl ten minutes after you break up with your girlfriend. It doesn't look good," I told him.

"Look, Ellie," he said, sighing again. "I can't do this."

"What?" I asked.

"I can't do this. What I did was a mistake. I shouldn't have done it, and I'm sorry. I'm still getting over Theresa, and I just need some time alone. Okay?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was he really doing this? What is wrong with me that every guy just decides that he wants me sometimes and doesn't want me other times? Why does love have to be so confusing?

I stormed off without looking back; something I'd been doing just about every time Thomas and I had any kind of interaction.

**Marco **

The night that Rory left for New York City, I cried. I sat on our new park bench and cried, and I'm still not sure why it happened. I guess I had a lot on my mind that needed to be cleared out.

Rory and I haven't had a serious talk since he got back. I just couldn't do it. I don't know why, because I was sure that I was ready. I just don't want to be hurt or hurt anyone again.

I waited on that same bench this morning. I made coffee and came for the sun rise, to collect my thoughts. We were having the talk today, as we both agreed on.

By the time I left the park, it was almost nine, and Rory was sitting in the living room, waiting for me.

"How long have you been up?" I asked him, sitting on the opposite end of the couch.

"I couldn't sleep," he mumbled. He did look tired.

"Do you want to go upstairs and lie down while we talk?" I asked. I really didn't mean to imply anything, but his mood suddenly brightened.

"Sure. That would probably help," he told me, getting up to lead the way. My stomach flopped and I suddenly became nervous. I even thought about changing my mind, and dragging Rory right back downstairs. I still don't know why I'm acting this way.

We finally got to Rory's room; a walk that seemed like it took forever. He plopped down on his back and looked much more comfortable than before. I stood there, staring at him, unmoving.

"Are you going to join me?" he asked, squinting his eyes against the sunlight coming in through the windows. I didn't answer him, but instead walked over to the windows and pulled the shades down. The room got considerably darker, and Rory looked happier, if that was even possible. He moved to give me room on the bed, but as I lay down, it didn't feel right.

Then he grabbed onto my hand that was closest to him, and my head cleared up instantly. My body relaxed, and I gave his hand a light squeeze; to let him know that I was there, both physically and mentally.

"Okay," he said, taking a deep breath and letting it out. "Say whatever you have to say; I'm listening."

"Rory…" I trailed off. As soon as he asked me to talk, my thoughts became muddled. I couldn't pick out what I wanted to tell him. I rolled on my side so I was facing him, and nuzzled my head in the crook of his neck. "I don't know what to do," I finally admitted.

"I'm still in love with you. I never stopped and I never will," he answered, kissing my cheek. I looked back up at the ceiling as he kissed me. His lips tickled my face, and another good feeling filled my body. But when he took them away, the good feeling was gone.

That should have been a sign. A sign that I was ready, that I couldn't be without him. It should have been, but it wasn't. I felt like it wasn't enough for me. Like if I had any bad feelings at all, that I couldn't be so sure. Signs aren't always right.

"I can't do this Rory. We can't be together; not now." He didn't answer me. I felt his breath, warm on my cheek. I turned my head slowly. His eyes were closed. He was already asleep. "I'm sorry," I whispered as I untangled myself from him.

I got off the bed and quickly wrote him a letter, placing it on the pillow when I was done. I tiptoed out of the room, careful not to wake him.

**Lindsey **

I tapped my foot impatiently and drummed my fingers on the table. I was told that I had a visitor, and I didn't even know who it could be. Neither of my parents would visit me in here, and I doubted Thomas would be back after my latest confession. I wasn't really sure about Theresa. I hadn't seen her or gotten a letter from her since Thomas left that day.

Maybe he would be back, to tell him how much I screwed up his life, and that he wished he never met me. Or maybe she'd be back, to tell me that she was still with Thomas, and they were fucking each other's brains out while I rotted in my prison cell. Or maybe one of my family members actually missed me and wanted to make sure I was okay.

Then I saw her. It was Theresa. A lump formed in my throat; her mouth formed a tight line, showing no emotion. I still didn't know if this visit was going to be good or bad.

Either way, when I saw her, it was like seeing her for the first time. I noticed all of the places her body curved, and how truly beautiful she was. She had no makeup on—the first time I ever saw her without it—and she looked better than ever. Her eyes were bright and her lips were so full.

As she sat down across from me, I forced myself to talk, rather than stare.

"I'm glad you came," I told her.

"Did you think I wouldn't be back?" she asked. When I nodded, she smiled briefly. "I don't think I could stay away any longer than I already have."

I was able to swallow the lump in my throat and smile back at her. I reached a hand out and stroked her hair and then her cheek. Her skin felt soft to my touch, and she brought her own hand around mine.

"I've missed you," I said, pulling her hand to me and kissing the tips of her fingers.

"I came her to tell you that I'm going to wait for you Lindsey. And that…I love you." She whispered the last part, as if it was only meant for me to hear.

"I love you too." I wanted to jump on the table and yell it to everyone there; that I loved this beautiful girl sitting in front of me, and she loved me back. And that action in itself would not land me back in this place.

But I doubted that it would make anyone too happy. They'd probably drag me down, stick me in the psych ward for the night, and stuff me with pills.

"I'll never leave you," she said, leaning over the table to kiss me. I really got into it and let my tongue travel out of my mouth and into hers. I moved my hand to cup the side of her face then tangled my fingers in her hair.

We kept going until a guard cleared his throat. I slowly pulled back and looked up, grinning at the guy. He was glaring at me with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Time's up," he said, "helping" me up out of the chair.

"I'll see you soon," Theresa said, grasping onto my hand one last time. Our fingers slipped away, but I kept my head turned so I could watch her leave.

I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible; I now knew who I had waiting for me when I finally got out of here.

**Remy **

I got to my room at this place that Theresa picked out and dropped my stuff. Even though I wasn't suicidal, they'd taken away anything sharp found in my bags, including my razor, my pocket knife, and even my keys.

Everything was clean and the rooms were full of bright colors to make people happy. Though I could tell that some people were even more depressed.

The wing of the building I was in was specifically for people with eating disorders. For that reason, we didn't have any bathrooms in our rooms. We had to go down the hall to use the community bathrooms, and those were patrolled by guards and sometimes nurses.

I didn't have anything to do, and since my room was a single, there was no one to talk to between meetings. I had to meet with a therapist three days a week, and go to group therapy the other four. There were "game nights" scheduled for Fridays, and on some nights, we were allowed to go to other wings to talk with all different people with different problems.

I was given a journal and a notebook. The journal was for writing my thoughts about anything I wanted, but I was supposed to focus on my problem and any solutions for it. The notebook was for writing letters to family and friends.

With nothing better to do, I sat down at the desk and started writing letters. I wrote one to each person back home, including one to Lindsey in jail. I explained to each person—in a slightly different way, depending on who the letter was to—what my situation was, and that I wanted to get better.

Theresa's letter was the longest. I thanked her for helping me out, even though I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But I also knew that what she did was probably the best thing anyone's done for me in my entire life. She gave me faith in myself and kept me going. She kept me from wasting away to nothing and disappearing forever.

I'll never forget what she's done for me. And maybe I'll even meet someone here. Someone who understands what I'm going through, and feels the same way I do. We can get better together, and fall in love. Maybe.

I grinned at the thought, and actually laughed out loud for the first time in a long time, and I finally realized that someday I could be happy again.

**Thomas **

"Can I talk to you?" I heard someone ask from the doorway. My talk with Ellie that morning left me feeling a pain in my chest. But she had been right; it was too soon. I was rebounding after Theresa and I didn't want to do that to Ellie. She meant everything to me, and I didn't want our relationship, if it ever happened, to mean nothing. It didn't have to be about lust—that wasn't what I wanted for Ellie or myself.

I looked up and was surprised by who it was. Nate. He was scratching his head and frowning, unsure of what my answer would be.

"Yeah, I guess. Come in," I offered. He plopped down in the chair near the door while I put away the book I was reading—yeah, I do read from time to time.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," he said, looking me right in the eye. I could tell that he meant it. The only thing Nate ever lied about was his addiction. "I didn't know that Theresa cheated on you. But that's not all I'm sorry about." He sighed, looking down at his lap.

"It's okay," I said.

"No, it's not. I should have never said anything about your dad, it wasn't right," he went on.

"And I should have never said anything about Craig. We were both wrong," I pointed out.

"Thomas, you've were my best friend for the longest time. I don't want to lose that. Not again," he added, looking up at me again.

I nodded my head and stood up, approaching him. He met me halfway and we threw our arms around each other and hugged. It only lasted for a few seconds, but we both felt much better.

"I finally got my best friend back," I said, grinning and messing up his hair.

"I thought Lindsey was your best friend?" he asked.

"Forget him. Hey, how's Tyler?"

"He's perfect," Nate said, smiling.

We talked for a long time, getting each other up to date on everything that had happened since our fight. It seemed like everything was finally falling into place, after this long, fucked up year.

But summer wasn't over yet.

**Rory **

I woke up with a handful of sheets. Cold sheets. I knew that Marco was gone before I even opened my eyes. But when I actually opened them, it fully hit me. This wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. When he suggested we come upstairs, I'd imagined us falling asleep together _and_ waking up together.

My eyes flew to the note on the pillow and I smiled. In all the little sappy romantic movies that everyone has seen, there's a note on the table that says something like "went out for breakfast" or something of the like.

I sat up and grabbed it quickly, eager to read it. There wasn't just a sentence or two; it was not a note, it was a letter. And it wasn't all too romantic either.

_Rory,_

_I'm sorry for leaving like this. I didn't expect you to fall asleep before I could tell you how I feel. And right now, I can't be here. I can't do this; it's too hard. We can't be together right now, even if you're in love with me. We just can't._

_When you broke up with me in the hospital that day, I was crushed. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest and stabbing my heart out. I don't know if I ever fully got over it, but I tried to move on. I tried to be with Andrew, and with Jesse, but it didn't work out with either of them. They just led me back to you. _

_Whenever you hold my hand, or kiss my cheek, I feel it. I really feel it. But I can't do anything about it. I feel like I'm being torn in two different directions. Part of me wants to run straight into your arms because I know you'll keep me safe. And the other part of me wants to run away because I can keep myself safe. Safe from another broken heart. _

_I hope you understand now why I had to leave. I need to figure out what I really want, and what I need. I have to try to decide what's best for me, and what's best for you. Because you deserve at least that. You deserve to be happy; no matter who will make you happy. _

_I'm asking Andrew for money to fly back home. I have to see everyone and figure this out for myself. For now, I hope you'll trust me to make the right decision. I do love you Rory, remember that. _

_Marco_

I folded the letter back up, stuck it in my top dresser drawer, lay down on my bed, and cried.

**Jesse **

"What do you want to do tonight?" I asked Andrew. We were lying in my bed after just having sex, with only a sheet covering us. He was lying behind me, with his arms around my waist, lightly brushing his fingertips over my waist. Gracie was peacefully sleeping in her crib that I put in my room.

"Well, we could stay in…" he trailed off, lowering his hand under the sheet. I grabbed his hand and stopped him, rolling myself to face him in the process. I kissed him from his neck up to his lips, then pulled away.

"Or we could go out. We never go out," I complained, knowing full well that both of us liked staying in just as well.

We got up and showered together, something I remembered fondly from my days back with Marco at school. I pushed him from my mind and focused on my new boyfriend.

When we got out of the shower and were finally dressed, we were trying to decide on where exactly to go, and who would watch Gracie for us.

I don't know what happened, but all of a sudden, the smile on Andrew's face turned into a frown and he became quiet.

"What's wrong?" I asked him. "I was pretty sure I hadn't said anything to make him upset.

"I should tell you something Jesse," he started. I got a weird feeling in my stomach; things didn't look good.

"What is it? You can tell me anything," I insisted, ready to hear it. I figured he'd tell me that he didn't want to be with me, or he was still in love with Marco, or…

"It's about Alex. About who he is, or _was_," he said, correcting himself.

"Yeah, and…?" I wasn't sure where he was going with this. But then it hit me before he said it.

"Do you know what his last name was?" he asked. Marco had mentioned it before and I brushed it off. I figured it was some sort of coincidence—at least, that is what I convinced myself. I thought that if Andrew hadn't brought it up, then it wasn't too important.

But he was bringing it up now. And I remembered.

"Donovan," I whispered. "It's a coincidence, right?" I asked. I didn't just ask, I pleaded. I didn't want whatever he was about to tell me to shatter my world.

"He was your brother," he said.

"What are you talking about? I don't have a brother. I have a sister," I said. "There must be some mistake." I shook my head, unable to believe him.

"Your dad cheated on your mom, and got Alex's mom pregnant. He was only six months older than you. He knew he had an older half sister and a younger half brother. But you grew up in two different cities, and his mom didn't have the heart to tell your mom. So she gave Alex his father's last name, but kept quiet. I knew who you were the moment I laid eyes on you in ninth grade" he explained.

I felt like I couldn't breathe. It wasn't true; it couldn't be. I don't have a brother, I never did. Andrew's messed up from cutting himself so much. It must be major blood loss from all those times. He made up this story. He…

There were so many explanations as to how it couldn't be true. My dad wouldn't do that; he loved my mother.

"No, you're lying," I choked out, wiping a few tears that had escaped my eyes. Instead of arguing with me, Andrew left the room. He came back a minute later with a picture frame in his hand. It was the one that he kept by his bed but never let me see.

He held it out and shoved it into my hands. I looked at him and he was crying, forcing me to look at the photo.

I looked down at it and started to cry harder. My eyes became blurry and so full of tears that I had to look away; at least so I wouldn't drown the photo. When I looked back at it, the face stayed the same.

He looked just like me. His eyes were brown, and he had no glasses on, but aside from that, we could have been twins.

"Am I a replacement?" I asked, shoving the picture back into his hands.

"What? Of course not Jesse!" It doesn't matter what you look like, or that you're brothers. I fell in love with you because of the person you are," he said. "I love _you_."

"You loved him first," I argued. "And I look just like him. How can I believe that you don't love me because I can be the perfect replacement? Alex died, but I didn't."

I stood up, and as if right on cue, Gracie started to cry. I lifted her up out of her crib and hugged her close to me.

"Jesse, how can you say that?" he asked, fresh tears pouring down his cheeks.

"How can I _not _say it?" I asked him. I slung the baby bag over my shoulder and carried Gracie from the room. Andrew followed me down the stairs and over to the front door.

"Where are you going?" he asked. He grabbed onto my free hand and tried to keep me from leaving. Our faces were so close, both streaked with tear stains. I just stared at him for a moment, searching his eyes for something. He leaned in and kissed me softly, intertwining his fingers with my own.

Our lips broke apart, and I untangled my fingers.

"I have to go," I whispered, walking away from him.

It killed me to leave, but I also knew that it would kill me to stay.

**A/N: Sorry it's late. My other story was a week late, so I had to finish that first! This chapter skipped ahead about a week and a half or so. It took place on Wednesday, July 1. See, Theresa's not so bad after all, is she? I wanted her to be the one to help Remy because they have history together. That was Remy's last POV until the last chapter. Everything about rehab is made up in my own mind because I've never been there, so I don't actually know what it's like. There you have it…only three chapters left! **


	18. Father May I Run Away?

**Chapter Eighteen: Father May I Run Away? **

**Andrew **

I couldn't find Jesse anywhere. As soon as he ran from me, he vanished. He didn't go to the park, and I had no clue where he could've gone at all. He had Gracie with him, so it wasn't like he could go to the movies, or really go shopping anywhere. And what else was there to do in L.A.?

At first I thought that maybe he went to New York City, but he has nowhere to go. Now that we've graduated, and Rex is gone, Jesse has no home. And his cell phone was off, so I couldn't call him.

I was about to drive around again to look for him when Rory came in the front door. He looked upset.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, forgetting about my own problems for a moment.

"Marco left," he sighed, tearing up. "I thought we were just getting somewhere."

"Where'd he go?"

"Back home. To Canada." He flopped down on the couch, looking like a train had just hit him. Poor guy.

"If it makes you feel any better, Jesse left too," I said, joining him.

"It doesn't, but thanks for trying. He probably went with Marco though. I ran into him and told him where Marco was—he asked. And then he rushed off…probably to the airport."

"Oh," was all I said. It was all I could say. Jesse went to Canada with his ex-boyfriend, who just so happened to be my ex-boyfriend too. It couldn't get any worse than this.

"Why don't we go?" Rory asked, sitting up quickly. "We can find them, and get them back."

"No," I replied, shaking my head sadly. "I have to give him his space or he'll probably choose to stay with Marco."

"He wouldn't do that," my brother insisted, trying to make me feel better. "He loves you."

"I really hope so." We sat in silence for a few more minutes before deciding to go our separate ways. This year had really torn me and my brothers further apart, rather than bringing us closer together. We just didn't have anything to say to each other anymore. "I need to go find Ellie," I said as I stood up.

"You won't be able to," Rory told me, on his way to the kitchen.

"Why not?"

"She went with them."

I groaned and trudged up the stairs. Okay, so this day _could_ get worse. I sulked in my room for awhile until Lola suddenly appeared. At least I still had my kitten.

**Nate **

The house was quiet, but Tyler and I weren't. It seemed like our sex got louder by the day. There was always some new technique we tried out, and we had a lot of fun.

But that didn't change the fact that when we kissed, I felt nothing. He didn't mean as much to me as Craig had. Or Thomas, for that matter.

And to think that in a year, I went from being in love with my best friend, who would never love me back, to loving a boy who physically hurt me, to screwing around with a teacher who raped me, and finally, on to trying to love a boy who just so happened to be my drug dealer.

I rolled away from Tyler and stared up at the ceiling, my body shaking and covered in sweat. He had done something similar to a move Kelly had used on me before, which brought on severe flashbacks and a terrible headache. It wasn't his fault; he obviously didn't know what Kelly did to me.

It wasn't until Tyler left the room for a shower (he asked me to join him, but I declined) that I realized the headache wasn't from him. I hadn't had any pills in two days. I got up and rummaged through Tyler's dresser, but found nothing. He emerged from the bathroom as I was checking his bag. Empty.

"What are you doing?" he asked, walking into the room with only a towel wrapped around his waist.

"I need some pills. I don't even care what kind they are, just give me some." I told him.

"I'm sorry Nate. But I'm all out. I haven't got any new contacts out here." He shrugged and walked over to the bed, kissing me. "Besides, I thought you didn't need them to be with me."

It was true; I didn't need them for Tyler. I just needed to make the pounding in my head go away.

"Headache," I explained. "I know you have a few somewhere. Please Ty, just this once?" I asked—scratch that—begged.

"You need to quit," he said. But I wasn't listening. I gently pushed him back onto the bed and pulled his towel off. I was lowering my head, about to pleasantly coax him into giving me some, and he pushed me away. I got angry. How could he refuse sexual favors from me?

"What's wrong with you?" I shouted. "Are you gonna be that foolish? I know you want it!" I snapped.

"I love you."

We both paused. He had his towel covering himself, but was still lying back on the bed. I was over him, my head pounding still.

"What?" I asked, making sure I heard him right.

"I said I love you. And I don't want you doing this anymore. You're going to fuck up your life like I already have with my own," he said, sitting up.

"Wow, my dealer is telling me to quit. How interesting," I snorted, backing away from him.

"No. Your _boyfriend_ is asking you to quit. Do this for yourself Nate. You have to."

"Fuck you!" I yelled, shaking my head.

"What's going on?" I heard someone ask from the hallway. It was Theresa.

"I'm breaking up with Tyler, that's what!" I screamed at her. She made a face and left in a hurry, giving us the privacy we needed.

"What?" he asked. He looked heartbroken, but I ignored it. I also ignored the way my stomach was flipping around.

"I'm sick of your shit Tyler. You've been feeding my addiction for as long as I can remember. And now you're pushing some 'I love you' bullshit on me because _you_ want _me_ to stop? What the fuck is that all about?" I asked. He looked like he was going to cry.

"It's not bullshit," he whispered, finding some clothes and pulling them on. "I love you and I want you to get help. I found a rehab center…"

"Get the fuck out of my room!" I yelled, interrupting him. "Get the fuck out of my room, and get the FUCK out of my life!" I screamed the last word at the top of my lungs.

Tyler just walked out of the room and was gone, without a single word or last glance.

I felt my body start to shake again, and bent over to throw up all over the carpet.

**Jesse **

I couldn't stay there, in that house with Andrew. He'd been lying to me all this time. He only wanted me because I looked just like his old boyfriend who died. His old boyfriend who was my half brother. I had a brother that I never knew about, who died before I got to meet him.

With all of this crap piled up, I suddenly understood why Andrew was always cutting up his arms and legs and chest. It was his outlet; his way to get rid of the pain in his heart. And now he was causing me my own pain.

I would never cut myself, mainly because I wouldn't want the scars. But I also don't think I could cause that kind of physical pain to myself. So I lit up a cigarette and smoked for the first time in a very long time. Then I smoked another one, and another. And then half the pack was gone. By that time, Marco took them away from me and threw them out the window.

Yeah, I'm with Marco. And Ellie. When Rory told me that they were going back to Canada for a little while, I got to the airport as fast as I could. As soon as I got there, I told Marco what happened, and asked him if he knew about it. He didn't, which at least made me feel a little better. It let me know that I wasn't the last one to find out about it.

"You're going to kill us all with that," Marco said, talking about my smoking. "Especially her." He pointed to Gracie, who was in between us in her car seat.

I crossed my arms over my chest and decided to act like a little kid. Now that I'd started smoking again, I'd probably be really irritable when I didn't have my cigarettes.

"Don't let him get to you like that," Ellie said from the front seat. "You can't make Andrew's actions let you forget about all the hard work you did to quit smoking. It's ridiculous," she lectured.

"Well, your pep talk obviously came too late," I growled at her. See, it was already starting. I turned my attention to my daughter to try and make myself feel a little better. I couldn't believe she was already a year old. We'd had a small party at Andrew's house for her, but thinking about that made me think about Andrew.

I looked away from her and stared out the window. That was when I felt one of her chubby little arms grasp onto me. And that was when she said her very first word.

"Dada!" she squealed, squeezing onto my arm.

"Did you guys hear that?" I asked, turning back to her. "Say it again baby."

She stared at me, blinking and smiling. Okay, so she didn't say it when I asked, but she still said it. I kissed her nose and tickled her, bringing out a new batch of giggles and squeals.

"I love you baby," I told her, ignoring the other people I shared the taxi with.

"Dada," she smiled at me as she said it, almost like she knew that she had just lifted a huge weight off of my chest.

**Tyler **

"I need your help," I said to Andrew as I approached him. He was sulking by the pool, letting his feet dangle into the water. "And Rory and Theresa too," I added.

"What could I possibly help you with?" he asked, sighing and pulling his feet out of the water.

"Nate," I said, just as Theresa was walking out of the house.

"What about Nate?" she asked, instantly horning in on my conversation. I didn't mind. This would take some convincing.

"He needs our help with Nate," Andrew told her, finally standing up.

"Sorry, but I won't help you get him back. I knew it was a bad idea for him to be with you in the first place," she said, rolling her eyes.

"What was a bad idea?" I heard Rory ask as he came from around the side of the house. Good. At least all of them were here.

"Look, let's cut the crap and get to the real problem," I blurted out. They all just stared at me, waiting. "This has nothing to do with the fact that Nate just broke up with me," I said, glaring at Theresa.

"When did that happen? I feel so lost," Andrew said. I shot my glare at him instead, and he immediately shut his mouth.

"He has a serious problem," I continued. "And he has to go to rehab."

"He'll only go if he wants to," Rory piped up. He surprised me with what he said. "It's the pills, isn't it?" he asked. I nodded my head and Theresa butt in.

"What? What pills?" she asked, suddenly looking confused.

"You mean you haven't noticed all the pills he's been popping lately?" Andrew asked her. "He is your brother," he added.

"It's not just _lately_," I said, bringing all the attention back to me. "Nate's been addicted for almost two and a half years now," I confessed.

"How do we help him? We can't really force him to go, can we?" Theresa asked.

"I have a plan…" I started, making sure they were all paying close attention.

**Ellie **

The cab ride from the airport to my house must have been the longest ride of my life. I kept thinking about Thomas, and how much I missed him. When Marco told me he was coming back home, I decided that I had to go with him. I had to see my old friends and my mother one last time before I moved. Marco and I were going to university with Andrew, and then I planned to move to New York City. It had really grown on me.

I wondered if my dad ever came home when Marco and Jesse arguing tore me away from my thoughts.

"You can't run away from your problems Jesse," Marco said, trying to reason with him.

"You're doing the same thing," Jesse pointed out.

"And how would you know that?"

"Rory's the one who told me where to find you," he said. "I could tell by the look on his face that your running away had something to do with him."

"That's none of your business," Marco said, turning away from him.

"Will you two just stop?" I asked, turning around to glare at them.

At that moment, a car slammed right into the taxi on Jesse's side.

None of us had even seen it coming.

The car rolled upside down and I hit my head on the window. Then everything went black.

**Rory **

Tyler told us his plan. It was an okay one, but all of us were afraid that it wouldn't work.

I did my part, bringing Nate down to the living room so I could get him out of his room. Tyler was supposed to go up and pack clothes for Nate. He said to give him twenty minutes.

"Let's go on a walk," I suggested.

"No thanks," Nate answered, rather gloomy.

"What's wrong?" Maybe I could get him to talk with me for twenty minutes. I hoped so.

"I don't want to talk about it," he answered. Maybe not.

"How about some TV?" I asked. Please work, please work.

"Sure, why not," he shrugged. Yes!

We sat down and I turned Fuse on. I watched Nate intently; he was staring at the screen, pretty much hypnotized. Geez, he's the one that broke up with Tyler, but he was acting like it was the other way around.

A half hour later, nothing had happened. Andrew was supposed to come in to tell Nate that he had to bring Tyler to the airport, and that he was going back to New York. I sighed and waited, while Nate kept on watching music videos.

Finally, Andrew came into the house with an annoyed look on his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, knowing full well what he was going to say. I turned the TV off to get Nate's attention directed away from it.

"Hey…I was watching that!" he protested.

"He wants to talk to you," I said, pointing to Andrew.

"Tyler's going back to New York," he told us. Well, he was really only telling Nate, since I already knew. Nate snorted from his place next to me.

"So?"

"So…you're coming to the airport."

"No, I'm not," he argued, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yes, you are. I have to go because I don't want him drinking everything in the limo. And I'm not going alone. So _both_ of you are going, or he's staying here," Andrew explained.

"Whatever," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Nate finally agreed, not wanting Tyler to remain in L.A. We all went out to the limo to find him already in it, looking away from us and out the window. The bags must have already been in the trunk.

The ride was a long one, and Nate dozed, that being the only thing to do. We finally got to our intended destination, exchanging worried glances. We weren't so sure how this would turn out.

Andrew got out on one side, Tyler on the other. While Tyler got the bags out of the trunk, I woke Nate up and told him to get out. He did, but he completely freaked out.

"What the fuck is this?" he yelled, staring at the building in front of him.

"It's rehab," Andrew said.

"No shit. Why the FUCK are we here?" he yelled.

"You have to get better," Tyler said, reaching out to take his hand. Nate pulled away from him and screamed.

"You fucking piece of shit! You made them think I need help when I don't! Get the fuck away from me!"

None of us had heard Nate swear that much. Just at the beginning of this year, he was quiet, and never had a boyfriend. But now, he had bounced through guys one after the other, and took so many drugs that he was all fucked up. I felt sorry for him. So I grabbed onto his arm and started to drag him toward the building.

Tyler got on the other side and helped me. Nate struggled against, us while Andrew stayed a little behind, carrying his bags. By the time we got up to the front entrance, Nate had given up. He fell limp in our arms and let us drag him. It was either because he was planning to trick us, or he'd grown weak from his small amount of withdrawal.

We got to the main desk and started to check him in. He turned to Tyler, with a look of hate and fear in his eyes.

"I can't check out whenever I want you know," he spat.

"You won't if you want to get better," Tyler replied.

"I hate you."

"I love you," Tyler told him without faltering. He must have been having such a hard time. "When you brought me here with you, I decided to get clean, and stay clean. I did that, and I'll stay this way. I was going to tell you once I ran out of things to keep you happy, which just so happened to be this morning. It was never about me Nate; it was about the drugs. But now you have a chance to change that. And you'll thank me for it in the end."

After that little speech, Nate didn't say anything at all. He simply leaned forward and signed the papers that the woman was handing him. When he straightened back up, Tyler was there, kissing him.

He didn't fight him off or pull away; he simply let Tyler kiss him, and kissed him back. It would be their last moment together. I almost felt guilty watching it. But then it reminded me of that same moment that Marco and I shared; at the hospital that day. And I was determined to make sure that wasn't our last moment.

A nurse came to show Nate to his room, and started explaining rules and regulations to him. We all watched until they were out of sight.

He never looked back.

"Where to now?" Andrew asked. Both of us felt sorry for Tyler, and suddenly wished we were nicer to him in the past.

"The airport," Tyler replied, slowly walking away. He did look back, even though he knew Nate was already gone.

**Thomas**

I walked into Andrew's house, sweating and tired, after a three mile run. It was something I used to do every morning, before Theresa. I figured I should go out and get some real exercise, but it had taken me longer than it used to.

I came back to an empty house. Everyone was gone, so I took a quick shower and pulled on some boxers before going back downstairs to find something to eat. When I walked through the living room, I noticed that the door was open. Guess I forgot to close it.

I closed it and locked it before turning around to head to the kitchen. Someone was standing right there, and shoved me backwards, pushing me straight into the door. I gasped and got the wind knocked out of me when I felt the doorknob hit my spine.

It was so stupid of me. I felt like I was in a movie, and I was the dumbass that didn't realize someone came in that opened door; that I hadn't left it closed.

And I knew who it was, as soon as I felt his hands pushing against my chest.

"What are you doing here…Dad?" I choked the words out as I struggled to completely catch my breath. Why did it have to be now, when I was tired from running?

"It took me long enough to find you," he said, keeping me pinned to the door. I felt the stabbing pain of the doorknob pressing into my back, but I had to focus. If I didn't, he would beat the shit out of me and probably leave me for dead. No one was around to see it happen.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I came to drag your ass home," he said, grinning at me. "But I'll sure as hell have to teach you a lesson first."

Before I could react, before I could move out of the way, I felt his fist connect with my jaw, and tasted blood. He punched me in the same spot three times before I found my bearings and pushed him with all of my weight, making him fall back enough to free myself.

The action didn't help me much, because all I could focus on was the pain in my back and my jaw. He kicked me in my left knee and I heard a sickening crack as I went down by the couch. Grabbing me by my shoulders, he shook me until I became too disoriented to even think about fighting back. I felt dizzy, and I knew he would win.

I expected this moment to come, and I'd been planning for it. I had to come back to my senses and work out my plan, or he'd kill me. My hands searched the floor for anything that I could use as a weapon against him. I finally felt something hard under the couch. It was just a book, but it would have to do.

Just as he was coming at me again, I pulled the book up and slammed it into his head. He stumbled, and fell back. I knew he wouldn't be down for long, so I used my time wisely. Struggling to get to my feet, I found that I couldn't stand on the leg he had kicked, much less walk on it.

I limped as quickly as I could into Andrew's dad's office. I explored every inch the house in the time we had been there, preparing myself. I knew that in that office, in the top desk drawer, there was something that would help me.

I opened the drawer just as my dad made it to the doorway.

"You little shit! You think you can beat me?" he asked.

I waited until he was a foot away to swing my arm up and point the gun in his face. He stopped instantly, waiting.

"Tommy, put the gun down and fight me like a real man," he spat.

"Fuck you!" I yelled.

That was all it took. Gun or no, he charged at me. I wasn't really going to shoot him; my only intention was to scare him. But as he threw himself over the desk at me, I heard the sound that would never escape my ears for the rest of my life. I don't remember pulling the trigger at all. The look on his face was one that I'd never seen before, and would never see again. Shock, horror, pain.

He was lying on the ground; I had finally beaten him. But I wasn't happy. I waited for this moment my entire life; for the moment when he would be completely defenseless. When the blood didn't stop, I called 911 and waited.

**Marco **

I lost consciousness when the car rolled over, and woke up on with a collar on my neck and a board under my back.

"Jesse?" I asked for him first. The car had hit his side. "Gracie?" I whispered. "Ellie?" No one answered me. I couldn't look around at all, but I knew I wasn't even in an ambulance yet. I moved one of my hands enough to feel that I was on the ground.

"This one's awake!" A paramedic yelled. I saw a few faces that I didn't know, and felt them lifting me onto a stretcher.

"Where are my friends?" I choked out. "What happened?"

"You're going to be okay," a man told me, completely ignoring my questions. "Can you tell us your name?"

I decided not to say anything until they would tell me about my friends. A police officer called them away before they could ask anymore questions. Even though they were trying to keep quiet, I could hear a few things that they said.

"The driver was drunk…" I heard the officer say. A few murmurs followed. We were hit by a drunk driver, that's all I knew so far. I licked my dry lips and tasted blood.

"…DOA…" DOA? Dead On Arrival?"

"Who's dead?" I screamed. "Jesse?"

"Give him something to calm him down," the officer said. A paramedic started walking toward me.

"No!" I yelled. "Why won't you answer me?" I felt a needle pierce my skin. They were sedating me.

I heard one last part of the conversation.

"…Del Rossi."

How did they know my name? I could feel my wallet still in my back pocket. I was confused. My mind started to blur.

And then there was nothing.

**A/N: Only two chapters left! I'm pretty sure this is my longest chapter for this story. But anyway, there are some possibilities as to who's going to die. Hmm. Think about it. I want guesses. Yeah, there was a random Lola moment in there because I kinda forgot to write about her. Oh well, I can't write much about a cat anyway. And there was also a random Tyler POV. The only one you'll ever get from him, seeing as this is almost done, and he's going home. **

**emphatic loser: I'll make a note of them not being able to write anything in rehab. I'll definitely remember that, because I have to write rehab one more time (in a different story though). I'm so glad you like it…I never thought anyone would like anything I wrote that much. XD **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fuse in any way at all. It was just the first channel I thought of. I also do not own Degrassi or any of its characters, including Marco and Ellie.**

**However, I do own the ideas in this story and Jesse, Andrew, Rory, Remy, Nate, Thomas, Lindsey, Tyler, and Theresa. Do not steal them! **


	19. How Will We Survive Without Each Other?

**Chapter Nineteen: How Will We Survive Without Each Other? **

**Ellie**

I was released from the hospital the next day. I only had a cut on my cheek and a bump on my head, no concussion, and no permanent damage. I was the least hurt in the accident. As soon as I'd regained consciousness in the hospital, I made sure they called my parents. I also called a few of my friends.

I found out last night who really cares about me. My parents didn't show up at all, which, for some reason, didn't really surprise me all that much. I was told that they were busy. The one person who showed up, after everyone I called, was Emma. That really surprised me. Her parents joined her, and made sure I was comfortable. I was very thankful to the three of them. Emma told me that my mom was pregnant, and I cried. They moved on without me, and started to build a completely new family. It was a boy, and he was due in five months. I would be back for his birth, there was no doubt about that, but I did question whether or not I'd be welcome to be there.

I decided that I couldn't let any of that bother me. I'd moved on, and found people who really cared about me. I knew Marco always loved me, and for a long time, that had been all I needed. But I wanted more, and I got it.

After I signed release forms, I went to Jesse's room. He was in a coma, and had been ever since he was hit. After I explained that he had no family, except for his daughter, they gave me information.

Four of Jesse's ribs on his right side were broken. He had a concussion, and both his arm and leg on his right side were also broken. He broke his collar bone and his jaw was crushed. He looked terrible, but I forced myself to stay with him as long as I could. I told him every happy story I could think of, and I prayed that he would wake up. The doctors said that all we could do was wait.

I visited Marco next. He was going to be just fine, they assured me. He also hit his head and lost consciousness. He was sleeping when I visited him, and I was told not to wake him up, so I sat quietly and held his hand. The doctor said that he experienced a panic attack—his second one now—when he woke up on a backboard, still at the scene of the accident. They had to sedate him, and the medication wouldn't wear off for another hour or so.

I couldn't wait that long.

I had to get home. My _real_ home.

Being in a car accident is a scary thing, no matter how much damage is done to the car or the people inside. I realized that anyone could die at any moment, and life is short. I had to get to Thomas. I would make him see that he needed me just as much as I needed him.

I apologized to Marco and kissed his cheek before leaving the hospital.

I had a plane to catch.

**Theresa **

What has the world come to? I had to ask myself that question over and over. My ex-boyfriend and brother were both in rehab, one for an eating disorder and another for a drug addiction. What kind of a friend and sister am I that I hadn't noticed either of their problems earlier? Maybe people were really right about me—that I was just a bitch who only cared about myself.

Lindsey changed that though, I was sure of it. When I fell in love with him, I was trying to be a better person. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. But I've really been trying. Speaking of Lindsey, my boyfriend, _he_ was in jail. And suddenly, no one was here. No one at all.

I sat on the couch, with absolutely nothing to do at all. It would have been pointless to go out anywhere. There's no fun in that if there's no one to share it with. I didn't feel like watching television either.

With nothing else to do, I walked to the park. There were kids everywhere, playing with their parents, throwing balls and frisbees to their dogs. People were having picnics with their families, their friends, their lovers.

I suddenly wished that I had that—all of it. I couldn't remember the last time my parents actually cared enough to take me to the park. I grew up with nannies taking care of me, getting attached to them, then watching them get fired for the dumbest reasons. No one ever played with me, the only friends I had were play dates, and I probably saw my mother and father only on major holidays and occasionally on my birthday.

Sure, I was given anything I asked for; a Barbie jeep, Barbie dream house, even a pony. But it never made me happy. Because, in the end, I didn't have any friends to share them with. The other girls either envied me because they didn't have enough money to buy all of my stuff, or hated me because I had what they wanted. Either way, as a child, I was always crying.

I knew what I wanted to do now. When I was younger, I didn't want to have kids. I had it in my mind that I would have to pay all kinds of money for nannies and maids and other people to watch my kids for me. But now, I wanted to have children, a lot of them. I wanted to give them the life that I never got.

**Nate **

I officially hate this place. I always though rehab would be pure white. But the place I'm in is colorful. Way too colorful. It's probably because they don't want blood to stain the walls when a patient somehow figures out how to kill him or herself.

I feel like I'm in prison. I know that Tyler packed my bags because he's been to rehab before. They didn't have to take anything away from me because I didn't have any sharp objects. I can't do anything here without supervision.

My head hurt and my body was drenched in sweat. They always say the first three days of getting over an addiction are the worst. I highly doubt I've experienced the worst at all.

I was thinking about asking someone for a pen and paper to write a letter with, when I was told I had a visitor. I really hoped it wasn't Tyler. I feel guilty about the things I said to him, and how I broke up with him. I was never in love, but he was, and I showed no respect for his feelings at all.

I trudged down the hall with an attendant at my side. We got to the "meeting room" and I didn't see anyone I knew around. The meeting room made me feel even more like I was in prison—there were orderlies and guards standing around, watching each pair or group of people to make sure they didn't pass off anything that we could hurt ourselves with. A woman motioned for me to sit down in an armchair. There was a small table in front of me, and another chair across that.

"He'll be right in," she said.

I slumped down in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. Tapping my foot to the soft music that played in the intercom—oh yeah, they had that too—I tried to be patient. Finally, I saw a pair of feet come into my line of sight. Whoever it was sat down and cleared his throat.

I looked up and wanted to run. I wanted to yell to these idiots that they shouldn't have let him in. I wanted to retreat inside myself and never come back out. All of the confidence I had gained since he left was suddenly gone.

"What are you doing here Craig?" I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat. I sat up straight in my chair, but kept my arms crossed. I suddenly felt self conscious. I didn't like the way he was looking at me. "How did you know I was here?"

"Theresa called me. She said that maybe you could do with a visit from me," he explained, leaning forward more. He placed his elbows on the table and smiled at me.

"That's because she didn't know you hit me every chance you got," I spat, narrowing my eyes and trying to move the chair back. It didn't budge; I think it was bolted in place.

"Nate, I'm sorry," he sighed. "I wasn't on my meds; it wasn't entirely my fault. I can't control my anger when I'm off my meds," he complained. Always making excuses.

"Maybe if you hadn't stopped taking them in the first place!" I said, almost yelling it, but remembering where I was. Craig stayed calm, but crossed his own arms.

"If I remember correctly, you were the one who suggested it. So I could finish a poem or something," he said. That got me really angry. He could tell though, because as soon as I was about to open my mouth, he interrupted me. "I'm not trying to blame you at all. I shouldn't have listened to you. It's my fault; I know."

It was my turn to sigh, but after hearing him admit it was his fault, I was able to relax a little. I finally uncrossed my arms and placed my hands, palm down, on the table. We looked at each other for a few minutes but remained silent.

"I shouldn't have come," Craig said, finally breaking the silence. He moved to stand, but for some reason, I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down.

"No…stay," I said. I didn't know why I did it, and he obviously didn't either. But he sat down anyway, keeping a surprised look on his face. He was so cute. Stop Nate. You're over him now! Don't start this again! "How have you been doing?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"Pretty good," he said, nodding. "You?" I laughed and looked around the room.

"Not too good I guess. But hopefully I'll be better," I added, not wanting him to think I was useless. I can do this. "How's Manny?"

"Oh, she's great." He looked surprised that I asked about her—probably more surprised that I remembered her name. How could I forget that name? The name of the girl that came between us…? "We're getting…married." He stated.

"Wow, um…isn't it kind of sudden?" I asked. "I mean, we're only eighteen. Marriage?" I was just really surprised. I wasn't jealous at all. I found in the few minutes of talking to Craig that I was completely over him in a romantic way. I could see us staying friends.

"I'm completely in love with her. I guess I have been since grade nine." He blushed a little, realizing that he was including the time we were together in there.

"It's okay Craig. Some people just aren't meant to be together. I don't regret the time I spent with you—including the bad times too—you made me a stronger person," I said. It was completely clichéd, but I didn't care, and neither did he.

"You helped me find out who I was. Thanks for that," he told me, grinning.

I smiled at him and patted his hand. For the first time that day, I felt like things would turn out for the better. I was actually thankful that Tyler made Rory, Andrew, and Theresa bring me here. I treated him like crap, and I'd have to make it up to him someday.

**Rory**

We were on our way to the airport to drop Tyler off when we got the phone call. Marco, Jesse, and Ellie were in a car accident. Tyler and Theresa headed off to New York City; Theresa was going to see Lindsey. Andrew and I went to Canada.

We knew they'd been in an accident, but we had no idea how any of them were. The hospital just said that they were given our names. I bit my bottom lip as I rushed to Marco's room, afraid of what I might see. The last time he was in the hospital I was there too. I prayed it wasn't like last time.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I got to the room. Marco wasn't in a coma, and he wasn't all banged up. He was actually pulling his shirt on, all dressed and ready to leave.

"Marco?" At the sound of my voice, he spun around. At first, he just stared at me, obviously surprised that I was there, but he didn't move. Then, suddenly, a huge smile formed on his face and I rushed over to him. We hugged and it felt so good to be in his arms again. I tried to stay like that as long as possible, but he finally pulled away and looked me in the eyes.

"Did you get my letter?" he asked. My stomach flopped around. I didn't like to think about the letter, and I definitely didn't want to talk to Marco about it.

I nodded but said nothing, hoping that he would change the subject.

"Well, forget what it said," he told me, grinning. "I want to be with you."

I was so overcome by happiness that I wanted to jump up and down and scream at the top of my lungs that Marco Del Rossi was mine and he loved me. But I didn't get a chance to do any of that, because his lips suddenly pressed against mine. They felt so warm and inviting.

I backed up, still kissing him, until the backs of my legs hit the bed. I sat on it, and Marco climbed into my lap and began kissing my neck. We eventually ended up lying down.

"Wait," I said, taking a breath. "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Marco, you were just in a car accident," I said, looking at him out of the corner of my eye.

"Oh, yeah. I have a concussion, that's all. They said I'm gonna be fine."

"I'm glad." Without another word, he was on top of me again, our kisses getting harder and our bodies slightly rocking back and forth over each other. We may have gotten even farther than that, forgetting we were even in the hospital, but someone cleared their throat above us.

"Excuse me," a woman said. We jumped apart and Marco stood up, his cheeks turning a very dark shade of red. I slowly joined him, equally embarrassed, but the woman—who I guessed to be Marco's nurse—just smiled. "Dr. Tancretti would like to speak with you before you leave."

"Okay, thanks," Marco said, flashing her his best smile. She smiled back before turning around and walking out of the room.

Marco grabbed my hand and kissed me one more time before leading me into the hallway.

**Andrew **

I paced outside Jesse's room, unable to look inside and unable to enter. The last time Marco was in the hospital, I hadn't even gone at all. I hate hospitals, and ever since Alex died, I promised myself that I wouldn't go in one again.

I wiped my sweaty hands down the sides of my pants and pushed the door open. I wouldn't abandon Jesse. He meant everything to me, and I wasn't going to lose him this time. I prayed that he would be okay, and I knew I would blame myself for the rest of my life if he wasn't.

The doctor already told me he was in a coma, as Marco had been before, but I wasn't quite ready for the sight of him. His jaw was crushed and he didn't look like himself. Dr. Tancretti told me that they had to wait for surgery until he woke up. _If_ he woke up.

I sat down in the chair beside his bed and held onto his hand, just like I saw in movies and soap operas. In those, the character always woke up. They had amnesia, but they woke up. I tried to fuel myself on that belief, on that hope that he would be fine.

It was a big step up for me. I hoped that Marco wouldn't be upset if he found out that I visited Jesse when I hadn't visited him that time. I didn't think he'd be angry. He's Marco. He doesn't hold grudges very long.

"Hey Jesse, it's Andrew," I began. Maybe he could hear me, maybe he couldn't. Either way, I was going to talk. "I want you to know that I really love you. This isn't fake; you're not a replacement for Alex. Yeah, I was in love with Alex. He was my _first_ love. Everyone's first love is the most important to them. I'm sure Rex was that person for you. But that doesn't change the fact that I love you _now_. Alex and Rex are our past, but I want to be with you now, and in the future.

"This can't be it for us. I won't let you go, not this easily. If you pull out of this, I'll know it's because someone up there actually likes me. I will stop cutting Jesse. I'll stop with all of these stupid suicide attempts, and I'll stop causing myself pain. You are my life now, and you mean _everything_ to me. I can't let it end this way. If you don't make it through this, then I'll make sure I don't either. But if you do, I will be there every step of the way. I won't ever let you down or let you go again."

**Thomas **

My dad was going to be okay, but I wasn't sure if it was a relief or a disappointment. He told the doctors that it was an accident; that he was teaching me how to use the gun when it went off. An accident.

Part of me wanted to yell at him and the doctor; to tell him that I did it on purpose, that my dad was an asshole who liked to hurt me and I wanted to get back at him. But the other, more rational part of me decided to leave it alone, and hope he left me alone.

I spent some time at the hospital, waiting for him to get out of surgery. It didn't take long and he'd be fully recovered in a month or so. The bullet hadn't hit any organs, and he didn't lose too much blood. He's just the luckiest bastard in the world now, isn't he?

Don't get me wrong; I really wasn't wishing harm on him, no matter what he'd done to me. He's still my father, and I guess I was relieved that he would live. At least now I wouldn't be going to prison.

My father and I didn't talk afterward. He nodded at me when I waved goodbye. Maybe it was progress, or maybe he would never speak to me after I shot him. Either way, I was sure that he'd never lay a hand on me again.

As soon as I left the hospital, I knew where I wanted to go. I booked the first flight to Canada. The flight was a little less than five hours, and I got there on Thursday at one in the afternoon. The problem was: I had didn't know where to go. I knew Ellie lived in Toronto, but I had no idea _where_ in Toronto she lived.

I didn't have to go far though. I was just leaving the airport when I saw her. She stepped out of a cab, pulling a suitcase behind her. She had a cut across one of her cheeks, and she looked pretty beat. But more importantly, she looked beautiful.

"Ellie," I said, walking right up to her. She looked up at me and smiled instantly.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, surprised to see me. "What happened?" she gasped, dropping her suitcase and touching my shirt. I looked down and realized that I'd never changed my clothes from the night before, and my father's blood pretty much drenched my entire shirt. Maybe that was why everyone was distancing themselves from me.

"It's a long story," I sighed, reaching out and touching her cheek. "And it's not why I came. I came for you," I told her, taking one of her hands.

"How did you know about the car accident?" she asked me. "I didn't tell them to call you."

"What car accident?" I was starting to get confused. "Is that how you got this?" I pointed to the cut on her face. She nodded, but didn't say anything. "I came here because I wanted to see you. I didn't even know. I wanted to tell you…" I trailed off, not being able to find the right words.

"What did you want to tell me?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

"This." I leaned in and kissed her, grabbing onto both of her hands at the same time. When we finally pulled apart, she looked stunned.

"So…what are you saying?" she asked. She was grinning, and she squeezed one of my hands.

"I want to be with you," I said, pulling her into a hug. "As long as you'll have me."

"Of course I will," she said, wrapping her arms around me and holding me close to her. We stayed like that for what seemed like forever, just letting all of the people swarm around us to get into the airport. "Thomas?" she asked after about ten minutes.

"Yeah?"

"Take me home. To L.A."

I could definitely do that.

**Marco**

"Marco, I'm glad to see you're getting ready to go. Your friend Ellie filled out all of your paperwork for you, and I wanted you to double check everything." He handed me a clipboard and I quickly scanned the paper, ready to get away from him. Rory and I were going to see Jesse before we found somewhere to stay for the night.

"I wanted you to talk to someone about the accident too, just to make sure you're okay. Could you come with me?" he asked. I turned to Rory and he shrugged. "Your friend can come too."

We followed him to his office, where another doctor sat waiting. I saw from the name tag that she was a psychologist. Hmmm.

"Hi Marco, my name is Dr. Hill," she said, holding out her hand. I shook it and sat where I was told, Rory right beside me.

"I'm fine, you know," I said, feeling nervous for some reason.

"Marco, we just wanted to make sure you're not traumatized in any way. I was told you had a panic attack on the scene…" she trailed off, waiting for me to say something.

"I think that's pretty understandable," I told her. I almost felt angry that she was questioning me. "I mean, one minute, I was talking to my friend, and the next minute, the car was rolled upside down. And I woke up with a neck brace on, all alone, hearing the officer say that someone was dead. Now, after I was sedated, and woke up here, I was told that Jesse was okay. I should hope that no one was lying to me," I said, unsure of what I was about to hear next.

"Well Marco, your friend has some serious injuries, and he remains in a comatose state. The only thing left to do now it wait. Once he wakes up, he'll have to get surgery, but other than that, he should recover in time," Dr. Tancretti explained. "But that's not what we wanted to talk to you about."

"Who died?" I asked. I knew it wasn't Ellie either; the nurse told me that she left to go back to L.A.

"Your cab driver." A pang of guilt struck my stomach. Obviously, if I hadn't come to Canada, the man would still be alive. But I couldn't let myself think like that.

"What about the other driver? I heard the officer say something about someone being drunk."

"That is what we wanted to discuss with you," Dr. Hill said, clearing her throat.

"You see Marco, the other driver was drunk, and he passed out at the wheel just before his car hit your taxi. It wasn't until your friend filled out your papers this morning that we realized who the driver is," Dr. Tancretti said.

"Marco, the driver's name is Demario Del Rossi. Your father."

**A/N: Here you go, this chapter is up right after I woke up! I'd like some more reviews though guys, I was a little disappointed last time. Took place on Thursday, July 2. The next chapter will take place a month after this one. But, just to warn you, I wasn't talking about the cab driver being the person who dies. Someone else will too. And now for your final guesses…?**

**Okay, so I have no idea what Marco's dad's first name is. I just picked Demario because it's Italian and I know Marco's Italian. If anyone knows his real name, let me know and I'll change it. **

**Disclaimer: I got the name, Dr. Tancretti, from Prison Break, but on the show, that was a woman. So I guess they own the name, but not the actual doctor XD. I also own Dr. Hill. **


	20. Promise Me That We'll Be Together

**This chapter is dedicated to emphatic loser.  
**

**Chapter Twenty: Promise Me That We'll Be Together **

**Ellie **

A month had passed since the accident. Thomas and I had been pretty inseparable since then. We flew back and forth between L.A. and Toronto to see Jesse, Andrew, Rory, and Marco. Andrew hasn't left Jesse's side, but Jesse still hasn't woken up yet. Marco's been spending every day with his dad.

"I love you," I whispered into Thomas' lips. It wasn't the first time I'd said it, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"I love you too," he replied, kissing me gently. We lay in bed together, as we did every morning, for quite some time. We'd lie there for a good hour or two after we woke up, just enjoying each other's company. Then we'd head downstairs for breakfast or lunch, depending on the time, and take part in various activities throughout the day—usually, anything I wanted since Thomas had the money.

"This has been the best summer of my life," I told Thomas truthfully. We were completely alone in the huge mansion, since Theresa spent her time in New York City, visiting Lindsey and looking around for colleges.

"Me too," he agreed, kissing my neck. I giggled as his breath tickled my skin and then pushed him down, giving me better access. I climbed right on top of him and kissed down his chest, moving myself as I got closer to his boxers. I was just about to pull them off when he put his hand down and stopped me. "Let's go swimming," he said, winking at me. "No clothes," he added when he saw me reaching for them.

I followed him out to the pool in my bathrobe, with nothing on underneath; Thomas was in his boxers. I'd never done anything like this before, so I was a little nervous, and a little excited at the same time. A tall fence surrounded the property, so I didn't have to worry about any neighbors seeing. Only Thomas.

I watched as he slipped his boxers off, giving me a nice view of his butt. He dove into the pool before I could see anything else, coming up a few feet from where he got in.

"Come on in!" he yelled. He splashed water at me but it didn't reach. I laughed and jumped back, still a bit nervous.

"Don't look," I told him, knowing full well that my cheeks were turning a nice shade of pink. He laughed and turned around, putting his hands over his eyes. I didn't give him a chance to peek, just pulled the bathrobe off as quickly as I could and jumped right in.

The water was warm, and it felt much nicer without a bathing suit on. Still blushing, I approached Thomas and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, I splashed him in his face and swam away.

He grabbed my ankle while I swam, and pulled me towards him a little. That action jerked me under water, and I started choking. I felt Thomas pull me up and spin me around. His back was to the side wall of the pool, and he was holding me up, my knees resting on his thighs.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking worried. "I'm so sorry."

I coughed a little more, then spit water right in his eye. I started to laugh as he splashed me back.

"Just don't do it again!" I yelled, pretending to be angry. He shut me right up with a kiss, letting his tongue pass my lips. His hands ran up and down my back and mine stayed on his cheeks, cupping his face.

"I love you," he said. We tended to say it more than once a day.

"I love you too."

I straightened my knees and let my legs fall to either side of his. As he kissed my neck, I positioned myself just right, and took control, putting him inside me. We both sighed happily as we began what would be the most memorable sex of both our lives.

**Andrew **

Rory, Marco, and I sat in Jesse's room while Marco's dad was resting. We didn't have much to say. Rory knew what I was going through, because he went through the same thing with Marco earlier that year. He hugged me a lot and told me that everything would be okay. I didn't necessarily believe him, but I tried to. I wanted to.

"Maybe we should get out of here for a little while," Rory suggested. "I know we could all use a break."

"Yeah, it would be nice to eat some real food," Marco added. "I'm getting a little sick of the jello." He and Rory laughed a little at that, but I couldn't tear my eyes or my thoughts away from Jesse for very long.

"I can't leave him," I said, sighing.

Rory nodded his head; he completely understood. Marco looked down at the floor, probably wondering why I hadn't felt the same way about him when he was in the hospital.

"Do you want us to bring you back something?" Jesse asked.

"Sure," I replied. "Anything's fine with me.

I moved back next to Jesse and grasped his hand, leaning back in my chair. Suddenly feeling very tired, I closed my eyes, just for a minute.

_**An incessant beeping filled my ears, waking me with a jolt. I was quickly shoved aside by the doctor and nurses, pushed into the corner where I would be out of their way. A car was rolled in with those paddles. I'd only seen them on TV, and they looked even scarier up close. Was this really it? Either they got his heart going or he died? I bit down hard on one of my knuckles, trying my best not to cry. **_

_**Please let him be okay, I wished silently. He had to be. We finally got together. It was my fault he left; I ruined it. Don't let the last time we talked be a fight. **_

**_Tears pushed their way out of my eyes, making my cheeks itch as they rolled their way down my cheeks. There was only one beep now. Slow and steady. I looked on as they charged up the paddles; one more time. Nothing happened. The doctor watched and waited. _**

"_**Call it," he muttered, shaking his head and putting the paddles down. **_

"_**NO!" I screamed, running at them. "He's not dead!"**_

"_**Time of death, 3:41 PM," a nurse said softly. **_

"**_NO! Do something!" I screamed. But they didn't hear me. No one heard me or saw me as they switched off the machines and left the room. _**

**_Jesse looked like he had for the past month. He was only sleeping. He would wake up. This wasn't it. It couldn't be. _**

_**After nearly an hour, it finally hit me. He wasn't coming back. **_

"**_I'll keep my promise," I said._**

_**The discarded machine caught my attention. I would go out the same way they tried to bring him back in. I switched it on, not knowing what I was doing at all. After pushing a few buttons, I heard the machine start up. Taking one last look at Jesse, I cleared my eyes and picked up the paddles.**_

"_**Clear," I whispered to no one at all.**_

_**The moment I placed them on my chest, a jolt ran through my body. A bright light filled my vision as the pain seared through me. But I was numb to it. There was so much electricity that it didn't even hurt.**_

_**I screamed out for no reason at all, and that was it.**_

I opened my eyes and saw the room around me. I was soaked in tears and sweat, and a nurse stood above me, looking very worried. She was talking to me, but I couldn't hear her. My ears were full of the sound of my own screaming.

**Theresa **

I'd been staying in New York City for a month, but I finally had to come back home. Lindsey told me that I couldn't waste any more of my time away from my friends and family. Even though I told him that he was the only friend and family that I needed, I knew he was right. I spent one last day in the city, slept in my hotel, then caught the first plane home.

When I walked in the door, it didn't seem like anyone was around. I found Thomas and Ellie cuddling outside, soaking wet. Ellie was wearing a bathrobe and Thomas just had a towel around his waist. Ew. They had sex in the pool. Looks like I won't be swimming for the rest of the summer.

I smiled and waved at them, then went back inside. I went to my room and changed into pajamas, deciding I was going to be lazy for the rest of the day. I grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream, then plopped on the couch to watch TV.

Three channels and five shows later, I put my empty ice cream carton on the coffee table and started to doze off. I heard someone come in the front door, but I didn't open my eyes. I just curled up even more. If I pretended to be asleep, then no one would bother me. I heard the TV turn off, but still didn't move. I only wanted to talk to Lindsey.

Whoever it was poked me. I pretended to groan in my sleep, then rolled over with my face to the back of the couch. He—I knew it wasn't Ellie, and she's the only girl besides me—sat next to me on the couch and poked me again.

"Go away," I whined, hoping that would make him leave. No such luck. I felt lips press against my neck and jumped up. "What's your problem?" I yelled.

Then I saw who it was. I suppressed every urge to scream, jump up and down, and cry like a baby. I couldn't believe my eyes. Maybe I was dreaming…

"Lindsey?" I whispered. He nodded and pressed his lips to mine. I pulled back and stared, wide eyed. "But…how?" I asked.

"My parole hearing was today. They let me out!" he shouted. He kissed me again, then dropped the bag he was holding onto the floor.

"You're home, for good?" I wanted to make sure. I couldn't lose him again.

"Yes. I'm on parole for the rest of my sentence—about two and a half months. I have to stay here, make sure I'm home by nine, meet with my officer every Tuesday, and get a job. As long as I do all of that, I never have to go back," he explained, grinning.

"I love you," I said, lying back on the couch and pulling him down on top of me.

"I love you too," he answered between kisses.

He started tugging on the bottom of my pajama pants; I didn't mind—we hadn't been together for six and a half months. I moved to pull his shirt off when the doorbell rang.

"Let someone else get it," I begged, kissing him again. It rang one more time, and whoever it was started banging on the door.

"I have to," Lindsey said, getting up. I groaned and grabbed his hand to go with him. I was kissing his neck when he opened the door. I didn't look up, but he pushed me off of him. I turned to see what was so important. There was a man and a girl standing there, staring.

"Sarah?" Lindsey asked. My mouth dropped open as I looked from the girl and back to Lindsey.

Fuck.

**Rory **

Marco's dad was still asleep when we got back from lunch, so we went back to Jesse's room. Andrew was sitting by the window, staring out of it.

"Burger?" I asked, holding the bag out to him. He pushed it away and looked up at me.

"Not hungry." I could tell he'd been crying, but I didn't ask him about it. I put the bag on the little table next to him and walked back over to Marco. I was so happy to be back with him, and every chance I got, I reminded him of that. I kissed his cheek and then his lips before pulling him into my lap in the chair by Jesse's bed.

"I love you," I whispered, running a hand through his hair.

"I love you too." He leaned down and started kissing my neck, then tracing the design of a tattoo on my shoulder. We got lost in each other, like we often did, and forgot that anyone was in the room.

Marco had just snuck his tongue into my mouth when we heard a throat clearing. We separated, throwing apologetic faces at the nurse.

"Which one of you is Rory?" she asked, holding out an envelope.

"That would be me," I said, taking it from her. She walked away as I looked it over. "It's from Nate," I announced. Lately, Ellie had been forwarding any important mail for us to the hospital.

"Read it!" Marco said excitedly. He hadn't been there when we dragged Nate into rehab. He always felt responsible for what happened with Craig, so he had a soft spot for the little guy.

I quickly opened it, knowing he would probably rip it out of my hands if I didn't hurry. I unfolded the paper—there was only one page—and started to read it out loud.

_Dear Andrew, Rory, and Theresa,_

_I wanted to thank you guys for making me come here. It really was the best thing that anyone has ever done for me. I know Tyler had a big part in it, but I just don't think I can write anything to him yet._

_The first week here was hard—really hard. I don't think I could really describe it; I'm not that good with words. But I am doing better, and I plan on somehow getting out of here before school starts, so I can go with everyone else. Of course, they'll let me leave whenever I want, but I won't leave until I know I won't go back to that stuff anymore. I'm determined not to let you down. _

_Some nights we get together with everyone in the program and play cheesy games or watch movies. And I met someone. Well, I didn't exactly **meet** him because I already knew him. And I know rehab isn't the best place to get together with someone, but I think I've already fallen in love. We've been together for almost a month now—ever since a few nights after I got here. _

_He's absolutely gorgeous, funny, smart, and he really understands me. We've been through pretty much the same thing. He's got black hair and green eyes and…I think by now you should know who I'm talking about. Just in case you're oblivious, I sent a picture of us with the letter. _

_I just want to say thanks again, and I love all of you. I don't know what I would have ever done without you. Let everyone else read this too, so they know how I'm doing. And I wouldn't mind a visit once in awhile! _

_Love,_

_Nate_

As soon as I finished reading it, I looked up. We all had tears in our eyes, even Andrew. We were happy that we could have helped Nate out.

"Who's the guy?" Marco asked excitedly.

"Isn't it obvious?" I asked him, grinning. He frowned and grabbed the envelope out of my hands, digging around inside for the picture. He pulled it out, looked it over, and gasped.

"It's Remy!"

"Well duh!" Andrew said, laughing.

"They look so cute together," Marco said. "But not as cute as…"

"You and me," I finished. Yes, we were finishing each other's sentences.

I kissed him and we almost got all caught up again, but this time, Andrew stopped us just as Marco was toying with the bottom of my shirt.

**Nate**

It took time, as I knew it would, but I finally got used to my surroundings and started to trust the people around me. The first time we all got together, I saw Remy across the room, and felt something happen in my stomach. It was the feeling I used to get when I looked at Craig.

_**Our eyes met across the room, like something from a movie. We both stood perfectly still and then we each watched as a smile grew on the other's face. He stayed put, but I crossed the room quickly, stopping only inches in front of him.**_

"_**What are you doing here?" he asked reaching out and touching my arm. I think he was trying to make sure I was real. **_

"**_The same reason you are. Well, I'm sure it's not the exact same reason, but a general one anyway," I rambled. He smiled at me but said nothing. We just stood there, in a silence that wasn't all that awkward. It was peaceful. _**

"**_Do you want to…go outside or something?" he asked. We both looked around the room, at the people playing cards and yahtzee. I turned back to him and smiled, nodding my head. _**

_**There was only one place outside we were allowed to go unless we checked ourselves out. It was a little courtyard, with only one door. There were a few plastic tables with chairs around them, some flowers here and there, and a little stone bench at the far side. We walked to the stone bench, as far away as we could get, but were still watched of course. The two guys at the door turned and were looking through it at us. I blocked them out, like I'd gotten so used to doing, and faced Remy. **_

_**We talked for an hour, getting out all of our feelings about the whole Kelly ordeal. There was crying, laughing, and hugging, and I felt much closer to him afterwards. We were about to go inside when a light rain started to fall.**_

"_**Let's stay out, I love the rain," Remy said, echoing my exact thoughts. **_

"**_Come in now!" One of the guys shouted across the courtyard. Remy and I exchanged glances then laughed._**

"**_Be right there!" I yelled back. We both stood up, but Remy climbed up and stood on the bench, turning his face towards the sky, and letting the rain drench him. _**

"_**Come on," he said, holding his hand out. I looked over at the guys. They looked annoyed, but they weren't coming out after us unless we were going to kill ourselves or something. I took hold of Remy's hand and let him pull me up. We almost fell over as our bodies collided, but I steadied myself quickly. In those few seconds that we touched, I felt something. **_

**_I mimicked Remy's actions and turned my own face up to the sky, feeling the raindrops as they gently pulsed into my skin. We faced each other and smiled as we were quickly soaked. It wasn't long before our lips met and my fingers were running through his hair, while his were hooked onto the top of my pants. _**

**Thomas **

I heard someone call my name. It wasn't Theresa because it was a male voice. I knew it wasn't my father, so who?

I stopped in my tracks when I saw Lindsey standing in the living room. Ellie gripped my hand. We were still in what we'd been wearing all day. Lindsey's gaze lost all of my attention when I realized why he had called me. I saw them, standing in the doorway. Sarah and her father.

"Yes?" I asked, approaching the door. I'd almost forgotten I was in a towel. Ellie stayed right by my hand. Mr. Williams snorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You two sure do move on really quickly," he observed, glaring at Theresa and Ellie. I held her closer to me and ignored what he was saying. Lindsey did the same. "How young are they?" he asked, narrowing his eyes at us.

"What do you want?" I asked, my free hand balled up into a fist.

"Well kid, you need to take responsibility for your actions," he said. "My daughter will have no part in what you did to her."

I wondered where Kate was, but said nothing. It wasn't that I still had feelings for her—I never did in the first place—but I wanted to make sure she was okay. I did feel guilty about what happened. That's what happens when you drink too much.

"Go get him," he said to Sarah. She walked away, carefully keeping her eyes off of Lindsey. We could all tell she was trying not to cry. They did love each other at one point. But he'd moved on.

She came back carrying a car seat and a diaper bag. I didn't know what to do or say. She held it—him—out to me and I took my arm from Ellie's shoulder to take hold of the car seat handle. My breath caught in my throat as I looked at my son.

He was mine. I could tell just by looking at him. He had my hair, and my eyes. The only trait of his mother's was his nose. I smiled at I unclipped him and pulled him towards me. I was afraid of dropping him, so I shakily went over to the couch and sat down.

I was so far in my own world that I never heard Mr. Williams mutter "good luck with that bastard" to Ellie. I didn't see him shove the bag at her, and I never even heard her slam the door. I was only brought out of my thoughts as she sat down next to me, and placed her hand on my arm.

"I'm a…father," I whispered, suddenly feeling very teary eyed. I just let myself cry in front of her, and Theresa and Lindsey. I didn't care. It was the best feeling I'd ever experienced. I held on tight as he fell asleep in my arms.

"Thomas, are you okay?" Ellie asked. I was sobbing, and still half naked. I suddenly felt like an idiot, and was very grateful when Theresa handed me a pair of boxers. I put the baby down—only for a moment—and slipped them on under my towel. Then I picked him right back up again. I never wanted to let him go.

Ellie started rummaging in the baby bag and pulled out a few items. There were diapers and wipes, along with a can of formula, and three other objects: a letter, a small tape from a camcorder, and his birth certificate.

After much persuasion from Ellie, I let her hold my son. I opened the letter and quickly scanned it.

_Thomas,_

_I couldn't keep him. My father likes to think he made the decision all on his own, but I knew what I was going to do the moment I found out. What happened was a stupid mistake, but look at what you got out of it. He's beautiful, and I know that you'll love him as much as I do. _

_It's very hard for me to write this letter because I'm giving up my baby along with it. But he's your baby too. I hope that you'll somehow find a way to let me know how he's doing from time to time. _

_Sarah taped his birth and I sent the video to you. Maybe you'll want to see it, and maybe you won't, but either way, you have it now. I sent his birth certificate too. I named him myself (the first name that came to mind) and I think you'll agree that it's the only name he could have had. _

_He will always be in my thoughts and in my heart. Please keep him safe. I love him. _

_Kate_

As I read the letter, I tried not to cry again. I picked up the birth certificate and looked at the name.

_Thomas Harrison Prescott IV _

He was born on July 30. He was only three days old.

"Ellie," I finally addressed my girlfriend. I noticed then that Lindsey and Theresa had left the room to give us privacy. "What are we going to do now?" I asked her.

"What do you mean?"

"I have this baby to take care of. He's my son. And I won't let him down the way my dad let me down. My time will be spent taking care of him. I don't want to have to put you second in my mind, but…"

"Thomas, I understand," she said, interrupting me. "Your son should be the most important person to you in the world."

"But what about you?" I asked her.

"I love you. And I love your son. I'll be right here," she said, kissing me.

We stayed like that, our arms wrapped around each other, lips pressed tightly together, and my son in between us. Maybe there really is such a thing as a happy ending.

**Remy**

"Do you remember our first kiss?" I asked Nate. We spent all of our visiting hours with each other because it was the only time we got since we weren't in the same group therapy.

"How could I forget? I was just thinking about it today actually," he answered, grinning and leaning down to give me a small peck. He was sitting on the couch and I was lying across it with my head in his lap.

"I love you," I suddenly blurted out. My cheeks instantly blushed. It was the first time I'd said it. And I actually meant it. Nate paused for a moment—I think he may have even stopped breathing. I wasn't sure if he loved me back, but I had to say it anyway. It's not something I'm good at holding in.

"I love you too," he finally said. I sat up and kissed him hard, wishing that I could have more. My hands traveled up his shirt and then down to his belt, but I knew it couldn't go any farther, not where we were anyway.

"Are you better?" I asked him, staring into his eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you think you're well enough to leave? To check out?" I asked. It had just come to mind. We could leave whenever we wanted, and I was ready. I never had anymore urges to throw anything up, and was actually pretty disgusted at the thought of it. As for eating, it would take time for me to work my way up to a full meal, but I was getting there. And I'd already gained back seven of the fifty-five pounds that I'd lost.

"I don't know, I mean, I guess I am. Are you serious about this?" he asked me.

"Of course I am. But I want to know if you're really ready. You have to be positive that you won't take another pill. Or I won't let you check out," I told him. "We can sign up for the outpatient program. It's the same thing, only we don't have to live here. We can live at Andrew's for the rest of the summer, and then I don't know where after that. But we'd drive up here three times a week for group and individual sessions. What do you think?" I asked him.

"That sounds like a great idea," he replied, kissing me one more time. "But what brought all of this on?"

"I want to _be_ with you," I whispered in his ear. The huge grin that formed on his face let me know that he wanted it too.

"Well, when should we check out?" he asked me.

"How about now?" I suggested.

"Let's go!"

He grabbed my hand and we ran through the hallways to the front desk. No one could have stopped us if they tried.

**Jesse **

**_I opened my eyes and couldn't see anything at all. Pure darkness, all around me. Anyone who knew me knew that I didn't like the dark all that much. In fact, aside from my now non-existent family members, only Andrew knew._**

_**Andrew.**_

_**Where was Andrew? **_

_**I love him.**_

_**But he's not here. He should be here with me. **_

**_As I thought about Andrew, I started to see a light in the distance. It got closer by the second, and soon was close enough for me to see my surroundings. I was in the desert. I looked down and saw that I was standing on train tracks. The light must be…_**

_**I looked up just before the train hit me and felt myself fly backwards. I hit the ground with a thud and looked up in awe as the train drove right over me, the wheels on either side. After it passed, I stayed down for awhile, breathing in deeply, to make sure I was still alive.**_

_**But was I? If I was alive, why didn't I feel pain from the train hitting me? Shouldn't my entire body ache? **_

"_**Jesse, I love you." I heard the voice. It sounded so far away. It was Andrew. "I meant what I said. I'll kill myself if you die." He sounded so sad. Had he seen the train hit me? **_

**_Off to my right, I saw a boy standing with his back to me. I ran toward him, but he kept getting farther away. _**

"**_Andrew?" I called out. "Come back Andrew!"_**

_**The boy stopped and turned around. It was him. He smiled and walked towards me. **_

"_**Did you hear that?" he said. "I think he just said my name!"**_

"_**Who just said your name?" I asked. He was very close to me. I reached out my hand…**_

**_And something slammed into me from behind. The train. I know I stepped off the tracks, but now my face is pressed into the cold metal of them. What's happening to me?_**

"_**Andrew?" I called out softly, groaning. I could feel the pain.**_

"_**I'm right here," he said. "Come back Jesse. I'm here."**_

_**I pulled myself up to my knees but screamed out in pain and toppled over, flat on my back. My entire body was on fire. My jaw hurt the most. It felt like the train ran over it. I opened my eyes, and a bright light filled them.**_

"Jesse?" Andrew asked. He was there, standing above me. I looked around and saw that I was in a hospital room.

"Andrew?" Pain shot through my jaw. And I remembered what happened. The car hit our taxi.

"He's awake!" Andrew yelled. He threw his arms around me and hugged me. Then he kissed my forehead and looked into my eyes, tears already spilling out of them. He could tell I was in pain and he kissed me ever so lightly on the lips. "Don't try to talk too much. Your jaw was crushed in the accident, and they had to wait until you woke up to fix it."

I nodded my head to show that I understood.

"How do you feel?" he asked. He handed me a small white board to write on.

_Like I was hit by a train_, I wrote. I laughed—I had to, considering. But it hurt.

I couldn't write the next thing on the whiteboard. I wanted to say it.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," I heard him say as the doctor and nurses filed into the room.

**Lindsey**

Theresa and I decided to give Thomas and Ellie some time with the baby and we went upstairs to her room. We also wanted to finish what we started down on the couch.

Being away from Theresa and all of my other friends for so long made me realized how stupid I had been. I paid for my actions though, and that made me feel better. I still didn't like how things had ended with Thomas and I, but if he really felt that way about us, then I couldn't change his mind.

I thought that when I saw Sarah next, if I saw her at all, that I'd want to be with her again. After all, you can't be convicted for the same thing twice. At least, I don't think so. Double Jeopardy or something like that. But when I saw her, standing there in the doorway, I was surprised that I didn't really feel anything at all. Maybe she was my first love—I know that I was hers—but I'd moved on. I was truly in love with Theresa and was pretty sure I always would be.

Theresa fell asleep a half hour after we finished. She was probably tired from her flight, but I really wasn't. I'd done enough sleeping and moping around. I showered and got dressed, then decided to see the baby. Who knows, maybe Thomas has had time to think and doesn't hate me anymore.

"Hey," I said as I approached Thomas and Ellie on the couch. Thomas was holding his son, who was sleeping peacefully in his arms.

"How'd you get out?" he asked. There was no hate or coldness in his voice. It was completely normal, but I couldn't tell how he really felt about seeing me.

"Parole," I answered.

"I'll give you two some time alone," Ellie said. She reached her arms out for the baby, and Thomas handed him over.

"Don't go too far," he said. Ellie smiled and kissed him.

"I won't," she replied, walking into the kitchen.

"Look, Thomas…" I began. He stood up and walked over to me. "I'm really sorry about what happened. I didn't plan for it to happen like that either," I said. "But I can't take it back. You're probably the best friend I ever had, but if you can't forgive me for that, then our friendship wasn't meant to be." I knew I sounded cheesy, but it was the only thing I could think of.

I thought he was going to punch me in the face—I really did. But when he came at me, he threw his arms around me and hugged me.

"It's good to have you back," he said.

We pulled apart and smiled at each other, both happy that we made up. He ruffled my hair in a brotherly way and laughed.

"So, I heard you're a dad," I said, grinning.

"You gotta come see him!" he said excitedly.

I followed him into the kitchen, knowing full well that nothing would ever get between us again.

**Marco **

My dad and I had been talking every day for a month. I filled him in on what had been going on in my life. We laughed and cried together, and I always hugged him and told him that I loved him.

I remembered the first conversation we had when I walked into his room…

"**_Dad?" I called out, my legs shaking and eyes full of tears._**

"_**Marco," he whispered, holding his arms out. I ran right to him and hugged him. I never knew that this was what our first meeting in a year would be like. I thought I'd be mad at him, refuse to talk to him, and leave angry. I thought that he wouldn't want to see me. But I was wrong. **_

"_**I love you Dad," I said right away. He looked awful. **_

"_**I'm so sorry," he cried into my shoulder. "Marco, I'm sorry. I love you too," he said. **_

_**I sat down in the chair next to him and held onto his hand that whole day. **_

"_**I have to tell you something, before anything else is said," I told him, swallowing the huge lump in my throat. "Dad, I'm gay." I said. I wanted to tell him. He looked terrible, and I wasn't sure if he would live or not. And I wanted him to know before he died. I wouldn't be able to live wondering what he would have thought of me. I expected him to pull his hand away, to tell me to leave, to yell at me and say that I was wrong. But he didn't.**_

"_**I know Marco," he said, completely surprising me. "I've known for a long time."**_

"_**Even when you sent me away?" I asked.**_

"**_Yes. It was the only place I could find where I knew you'd be safe. Marco, you're my son, and I love you no matter what. I was in a bad place a year ago, and this accident is the only thing that brought me out of it. I hope you realize that I was protecting you when I sent you away," he said, struggling to explain himself._**

"_**I know Dad, I know."**_

"_**And Marco, I don't know if I'll live through this, but if I don't, I want you to know that I'll always be with you."**_

"_**Always," I replied, letting a few tears fall. **_

"_**Don't be sad though," he said, squeezing my hand. "Just know that I'll be with your mother and we'll be watching over you," he told me. **_

"_**I know." **_

_**He fell asleep shortly after that, and I knew that I couldn't leave him. **_

That happened a month ago, and now, as I talked to my father, Rory sat right beside me. He'd grown quite close to him, which surprised me as well. They were pretty comfortable around each other.

He looked much better, and the doctor's said that everything looked good. I was told that he'd even be able to go home in a week or two.

"Marco, you need to go get some sleep. Go home," my dad insisted.

"I'm not leaving," I said, as stubborn as ever.

"Maybe he's right," Rory suggested. "We could use sleep in a real bed."

"You've got a smart boyfriend there Marco. He knows what he's talking about." We all laughed.

"Fine," I said, giving in. I knew I'd feel much better in the morning. Sleeping in hospital chairs wasn't very fun.

"Your room is still the way you left it," Dad told me. I hugged and kissed him.

"Goodnight Dad, I love you."

"I love you too son. Goodnight and sweet dreams."

I watched as he hugged Rory and waved as we left the room.

Being back at my house was surreal to me. It looked the same, but it also looked very different. I felt that it wasn't really my home anymore, but at the same time, it always had been. My dad was right, my room was exactly how I'd left it, and I was thankful for the familiar surroundings. It was much warmer and much more comfortable than the room in the hospital. I knew my dad would feel much better once he got back to his own room too.

Rory and I got into bed at eleven o'clock and fell asleep right away. Our arms were wrapped around each other and all I could smell was his cologne. I was grateful for the contact—I hadn't had it in awhile.

My cell phone rang near my head and woke me up. I squinted my eyes and looked at the clock. Two-thirty am. I hadn't expected the phone call at all, and I didn't know what to do once I hung it up. I didn't wake Rory up—I didn't have the heart to—so I just curled up and cried.

It was Dr. Tancretti. He called to tell me that my father passed away in his sleep at two.

**A/N: I posted this early because I couldn't wait! It's definitely the longest one I've ever written. 16 and a half pages! This chapter took place on August 2nd. So, I know I said that this will be only twenty chapters. But there will be an epilogue after this, which I've just decided on. It will be in third person though to match the very first chapter of Take Me As I Am. These are the last point of views so say goodbye! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ben & Jerry's, Yahtzee, or Degrassi. **


	21. Epilogue: Let That Be Enough

**This chapter is dedicated to Carrie (who gave me inspiration for the story and sequel and is just completely awesome), Jackie, and Felicia. Thanks for always reviewing!**

******Chapter Twenty-One: Epilogue: Let That Be Enough**

**__****-One Year Later-**

Marco Del Rossi was happy. He didn't know if the feeling would ever come, but it finally did. He believed that his father waited to die until he was gone, that he didn't want him to have to witness it, the way they witnessed his mother's death.

He was able to have peace over his father's death and realized that his parents were finally together again. And they were watching over him, just like his dad told him that night. He knew that Rex, Alyssa, and Alex were with them too.

And Marco had a new family. It was weird, and random, and fun, but it was still a family. He, Rory, Andrew, Jesse, Gracie, Remy, Nate, Thomas, Ellie, LT, Theresa, and Lindsey were finally together again after their first year apart.

They met at the house in L.A., a house that was now a home to all of them, not just Rory, Remy, and Andrew. They ate breakfast together at the same kitchen table, lounged around on that same living room couch, and sat outside in the sun, around that same, big pool.

Marco finished his first year towards his bachelor's degree in Social Work. He wanted to help people like Jesse who didn't have any parents, and people like Thomas and Lindsey who found themselves in trouble with the law over a stupid mistake.

Rory went to school at the University of Connecticut, along with Marco. He still wasn't sure what he wanted to do, but, was he ever sure about anything? Yes, he was sure about one thing. That he loved Marco and he always would.

The two young men shared a three bedroom apartment with Andrew, Jesse, and Gracie. Andrew didn't go to school. He was a devoted stay-at-home dad, and spent his days taking care of Gracie. He and Jesse were planning a commitment ceremony to take place during the summer. Jesse attended the nearby community college. He wouldn't accept money from Andrew's family, and intended to pay for everything himself. He was completely recovered from his accident, and was planning on transferring to a school with a good Medical program. He wanted to be a physical therapist, because he knew how important they were for his recovery. And he wanted to help people like him.

Remy and Nate were both going to school at Harvard University, intent on becoming lawyers specializing in rape and other sex crimes. They lived on campus in the same dorm.

Thomas loved being a father. His son, LT (which stood for little Thomas) was a year old. He'd taken that year off so he wouldn't miss his first words, his first steps, or his first teeth. And he didn't. He recently decided that he would wait until LT was in Kindergarten to start school himself. When he did start, he planned on becoming a Pediatrician. Yep, having a kid turned him soft.

Ellie was still with Thomas. They lived in New York City, in a small apartment in Manhattan. She'd finished a year in the writing program at New York University and was an intern at The New York Times. She'd recently adopted LT, becoming his legal mother, but they didn't have plans to get married. Yet.

Lindsey stayed in L.A., living in the house, and just got is GED. Theresa also took the year off to spend time with him, and they both intended on finding a school together. They didn't care where it was, as long as they were with each other.

Gracie ran around excitedly, shouting out phrases that no one understood. She was two years old, and everyone was surprised by how big she'd gotten. LT wobbled around in the grass, having just learned how to walk, and Thomas followed him around to make sure he didn't fall. Ellie was constantly moving, taking pictures of her boyfriend and their son. Andrew and Jesse watched Gracie run around and eventually got her in the pool. They were teaching her how to swim.

Marco and Rory sat on a lounge chair together, making out and getting lost in each other from time to time. But there were plenty of people to remind them where they were, and to wait until they were back in their room to go that far.

Remy and Nate were lying on towels in the shade, reading a book together. Remy would read a paragraph or two out loud, then Nate would read one. Whenever they got to a romantic scene, they would take a break and start to kiss.

Lindsey chased Theresa around the yard, squirting her with a water gun. No one had ever seen Theresa having so much fun, and they were all glad that she was finally a happy person. Only Lindsey knew that she was pregnant with his baby, and she was keeping this one.

Everyone laughed and had a great time, knowing that it was only the beginning of a great summer spent together. Sure, there would be hard times too, but they were strong, and they could get through them as long as they had each other.

No matter what they did, or where they went, the friends knew they would always spend the summers in L.A. They were a family, and they couldn't live without each other. They all loved one another in their own ways, and knew that they would never be torn apart.

_Let me know that you hear me  
Let me know your touch  
Let me know that you love me  
Let that be enough_

Love was enough for them.

******A/N: So it's finally come to an end. I hope everyone liked reading the story as much as I liked writing it. I want to say thanks to all of my readers and reviewers, I love you guys! **

******Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of its characters. The title of the chapter and lyrics at the end are from the song "Let That Be Enough" by Switchfoot and they own it. **

******However, I do own the story line and the following characters: Rex, Alyssa, Thomas, Nate, Rory, Remy, Andrew, Theresa, Jesse, Gracie, LT, and Lindsey. Do not use them in any stories or take my story. I've worked very hard on this and I'll find out if you take anything from me. **


End file.
